I loved Cho's writing style; there was something very calming about it - ironic, given that the subject matter is psychosis.

It was so sad to get a brief glimpse into the reactions of her close family members when they realize she is sick.

I didn't care as much about her past, to hear about her parents and grandparents, though a few of those things do play a part in her mental illness.

Psychosis is an especially interesting thing to me, a Christian, because of the similarities to demon oppression and possession. Many people experiencing psychosis do think there are demons around them, or like Cho, are told to participate in something evil, as she was told that her son needed to die, that it needed to be her husband's fault. She mistakes this as God's voice. I think in the West, we're often too quick to dismiss mental illness as being "only" in the brain/body, and not acknowledging the spiritual and emotional aspects of it.

Note: Contains profanity, including God's name used flippantly. ( )

This is an excellent memoir of being lost to psychosis after having a baby and finding the way back to self. It's also a maddening look at how ill equipped the US is to deal with mental health in new mothers. She wasn't even given a breast pump? There are so many ways to lose yourself in motherhood, but this is by far the most literal. ( )

This is a memoir of post-partum psychosis. It's a stream of consciousness memoir that repeats itself, isn't linear, and this is on purpose: it's to immerse readers in what it's like to be in a psychotic state. Cho explores cultural aspects a lot, and I was so surprised. I'm American, so a lot of this stuff never occurred to me. I was glad to learn of some of it. And then towards the end of the book, Cho explains that, had this happened in her home country of England, she would have been placed in a mother and baby ward in a regular hospital. She would never have been in a psychiatric hospital as the US makes some people go. She would never have been placed on the medication she was, as it's seen as an extreme measure. She would have gotten waaaay more social and medical support, not shoved into a psych ward for over a week while she gets jerked around by a bunch of people for different reasons while her grasp on reality is already inconsistent. And she would not have been charged tens of thousands of dollars. I was furious when I read all of this. The tens of thousands of dollars is a -conservative- estimate.

Story time: I went to the hospital as an emergency ten years ago or so, and was told, "We're short-staffed and can't see you." I curled up and slept a little bit. Twelve hours later, I was attended to. I was sent home still unwell. A week later, I was billed twelve hundred dollars. Twelve hundred dollars because they made me wait twelve hours! I made several phone calls and did get it handled, but I FUCKING HATE THE US SYSTEM. UGH. And there's this huge narrative of "Canadians go to the US to get immediate healthcare because free healthcare has a long wait time!" Correct yourselves: -rich- Canadians do this apparently. Ooh, the US system makes my blood boil.

I'm so sorry for what Cho went through, and so glad she was blunt about the differences between the two countries' views and treatments of mothers and mentally ill people. Ugh. I recommend this for anyone wanting to learn about post-partum psychosis and mental wards. ( )