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How We Show Up: Reclaiming Family, Friendship, and Community

door Mia Birdsong

LedenBesprekingenPopulariteitGemiddelde beoordelingAanhalingen
1345204,892 (4.03)3
An Invitation to Community and Models for Connection After almost every presentation activist and writer Mia Birdsong gives to executives, think tanks, and policy makers, one of those leaders quietly confesses how much they long for the profound community she describes. They have family, friends, and colleagues, yet they still feel like they're standing alone. They're "winning" at the American Dream, but they're lonely, disconnected, and unsatisfied. It seems counterintuitive that living the "good life"--the well-paying job, the nuclear family, the upward mobility--can make us feel isolated and unhappy. But in a divided America, where only a quarter of us know our neighbors and everyone is either a winner or a loser, we've forgotten the key element that helped us make progress in the first place: community. In this provocative, groundbreaking work, Mia Birdsong shows that what separates us isn't only the ever-present injustices built around race, class, gender, values, and beliefs, but also our denial of our interdependence and need for belonging. In response to the fear and discomfort we feel, we've built walls, and instead of leaning on each other, we find ourselves leaning on concrete. Through research, interviews, and stories of lived experience, How We Show Up returns us to our inherent connectedness where we find strength, safety, and support in vulnerability and generosity, in asking for help, and in being accountable. Showing up--literally and figuratively--points us toward the promise of our collective vitality and leads us to the liberated well-being we all want.… (meer)
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Toon 5 van 5
I read only a small part before it was due, but I will be reading it more.
A lovely memoir and instructional volume on how relationships can be so much more than defined by society. It opens up ways to explore building friendships and community. I plan on taking notes for my own life. ( )
  juliechabon | Apr 5, 2024 |
A thoughtful and intentional exploration of the modern ways we (in America) build and maintain community, and how some groups in particular are laying foundations. Mia's storytelling made me reflect about how much awesome, transformative value real community can hold through the most challenging of times. I consider this a strong read for the average American, as we embark on the rising challenges of everyday life. ( )
  kristilabrie | Oct 9, 2023 |
Really great book written by a very fascinating human! I was surprised at the breadth of topics it touched on, including non-monogamy, alternative family structures, and bereavement. I was pleased whenever I had a concern about some content that was quickly addressed. I think some chapters could be more focused. I wish that there was instruction on how an introverted or asocial person might find community. ( )
  matsuko | Aug 17, 2023 |
Decolonizing our relationships means resisting the toxic hyperindividualism of white supremacy culture and recognizing our fundamental interdependence. This is apparent to those who are systematically excluded from the American Dream, who are able to thrive by creatively building loving, mutually caring communities outside the isolation of the "normal" nuclear family. Mia Birdsong shares countless examples, mostly from queer people of color. ( )
  GwenRino | Jul 9, 2022 |
In this 2020 book, Mia Birdsong provides seven chapters of community anecdotes, after an introductory chapter decrying how the rugged individualism of the American Dream is antithetical to community.

I completely agree with the premise, but I didn't get much out of the book. I wanted a self-help-style book organized around ways to show up for others and build community that provided at least a few methods or situations that I hadn't anticipated, and I didn't get that at all. The book is actually mostly personal narratives centered on themes like "how so-and-so showed up for childcare" and "how whosit showed up in hardship". There's also some weird celebration of individualism despite decrying it (queer chosen family and single motherhood both come especially to mind here). It lacks much attention at all to traditional community organizations that bring together local people who share only a single aspect of identity, like religious organizations, military and veterans groups, adult sports and hobbies, and ethnic associations, focusing instead on building unstructured community among people who naturally make us comfortable and are already in our lives.

Definitely not the book I'd have written. I'd recommend it as filling the same kind of niche as Chicken Soup for the Soul, with woke morals rather than Christian ones. ( )
1 stem pammab | Jun 24, 2021 |
Toon 5 van 5
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An Invitation to Community and Models for Connection After almost every presentation activist and writer Mia Birdsong gives to executives, think tanks, and policy makers, one of those leaders quietly confesses how much they long for the profound community she describes. They have family, friends, and colleagues, yet they still feel like they're standing alone. They're "winning" at the American Dream, but they're lonely, disconnected, and unsatisfied. It seems counterintuitive that living the "good life"--the well-paying job, the nuclear family, the upward mobility--can make us feel isolated and unhappy. But in a divided America, where only a quarter of us know our neighbors and everyone is either a winner or a loser, we've forgotten the key element that helped us make progress in the first place: community. In this provocative, groundbreaking work, Mia Birdsong shows that what separates us isn't only the ever-present injustices built around race, class, gender, values, and beliefs, but also our denial of our interdependence and need for belonging. In response to the fear and discomfort we feel, we've built walls, and instead of leaning on each other, we find ourselves leaning on concrete. Through research, interviews, and stories of lived experience, How We Show Up returns us to our inherent connectedness where we find strength, safety, and support in vulnerability and generosity, in asking for help, and in being accountable. Showing up--literally and figuratively--points us toward the promise of our collective vitality and leads us to the liberated well-being we all want.

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