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The Life You Longed For: A Novel

door Maribeth Fischer

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783345,694 (3.96)1
When every mother's worst nightmare becomes Grace's reality, she must examine her entire life -- from the wrong choices to the right mistakes. Grace's son Jack is a miracle. At three years old, he's fighting a mysterious, deadly disease that his doctors predicted would kill him as a baby. Even though it was determined to be mitochondrial disease, the little-known illness remains a mystery to medicine. Grace has sat by his bedside every minute he has been in the hospital, questioned every diagnosis, every medicine -- even poring over medical journals and books at home late into the night. To the world, Grace's fierce dedication is the sole reason for her son's survival. But someone suspects that perhaps Jack's disease is not what it seems. When an allegation of Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy is leveled against Grace, she begins to live in constant suspicion of everyone -- from the doctors and nurses surrounding her son in the hospital to her own husband. Who could possibly think that she has been purposely making her son ill to gain attention for herself? Although her husband believes their life is exactly as it seems to the outside world, Grace knows differently. She is harboring a secret -- the adulterous affair she's having with her first love. But perhaps her biggest betrayal of all is her shameful uncertainty about whether she's chosen the right path, the right husband, the right life. In this compelling and heartbreaking novel, critically acclaimed author Maribeth Fischer addresses how the choices we made yesterday can affect everything that lies before us.… (meer)
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Though it has an interesting story and passable writing style, this novel made me incredibly uncomfortable as I read it. I picked this up because a part of its plot is the accusation of Munchausen by Proxy Syndrome (MBPS), a psychiatric disorder that I find quite fascinating and have read a lot about. The problem I had with this novel's portrayal of the disorder is that Fischer clearly does not believe that MBPS exists and wants readers to question its existence as well. That's a really dangerous message for a disorder that is so rarely known by the general public yet can cause so much damage.

I am completely willing to believe the claim that some women accused of having MBPS don't have it, and in fact are victims of a system that cannot locate their children's organic medical problem and instead casts suspicion on them. I am equally willing to enjoy a book where this is the case — it is, after all, a story. But Fischer takes this too far by making all of the sympathetic characters disbelieve in the possibility of MBPS, comparing accusations of it to the accusations leveled against innocent women and men during the Salem Witch Trials. Kempley, who is clearly meant to be thought of as the most knowledgeable secondary character, goes on and on about how ridiculous it would be for MBPS to be real, how accusations of it are nothing more than hatred leveled at good mothers by the medical field. When Jenn, a nurse who has seen MBPS in practice, expresses her certainty that, while main character Grace is not a MBPS case, the disorder could still exist, she is ridiculed and instantly demonized, only redeemed in her friendship with Grace when she admits she no longer knows if MBPS is real.

This could have been an extremely interesting story, but Fischer's proselytizing gets in the way of the plot's accessibility and appeal multiple times. There are other flaws as well — the affair went on for far too long and with too much flowery language; the entire invocation of 9/11 I found really campy and sometimes insensitive to the event — but this was the biggest one. The politics of the book are just so absolutist that it made reading through some parts of the novel a chore. Perhaps worse, though, there were segments that made me fear that Fischer could dissuade readers of the existence of a documented disorder that only fringe groups (contrary to the novel's portrayal, M.A.M.A. is a fringe group) argue against. The narration claims at one point that women only admit to the disorder because they are under duress and see no other option. I suppose that could be true in some instances, but certainly not in all of them. The book does not address, nor even admit, the cases where medical personnel witness MBPS sufferers hurting their children, though I'm sure it would have a convenient way of explaining that away as well.

I don't recommend this book. I simply can't, not so much because I disagree with its political premise but because it's not done well. Better editing could have fixed the smaller problems (again, the affair) but it falls hopelessly into the category of evangelism disguised as a novel, and doesn't evoke the sympathy and engagement that such a novel requires to appeal to mainstream readers. ( )
  sparemethecensor | Jul 20, 2011 |
"The Life You Longed For" is a story where I could identify with the heroine on one level as a mother but yet on another I wanted to throttle her. Grace is a mother of three with her youngest, Jack who is 3, having a rare condition known as mitochondrial disease. He is terminal and everyone in the family is dealing with the inevitable in their own way. The story starts out on Christmas Eve with Grace spending part of the day with her lover...a childhood sweet heart who has been carrying a torch for her for 20 years since she dumped him. Not long after...Grace learns that there has been an accusation of Munchaussen's Syndrome by Proxy against her. So not only is she dealing with Jack's illness but also the threat of him being taken away from her. But she relaxes as the Children's Protective Agency do not have enough to prosecute until there is a second complaint. This book definitely pulls on your heart strings. September 11th does have a major role in the plot but I won't say what...it just makes all of the characters take stock. I will say that the family does have 2 traditions that I would like to adopt in our own...on New Year's Eve Day, as a family they put together a jigsaw puzzle. Then they have a jar with questions that they pull one a day and ask each other...for instance, if you were a color what would you be? ( )
  knithappened | Nov 10, 2009 |
An interesting book that engages the reader easily though the main character is not especially likeable. I found it hard to emphathize with what she was experiencing based on her decision to have an affair. The story was very good and I would recommend to others. ( )
  4kids4us | Jul 30, 2009 |
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When every mother's worst nightmare becomes Grace's reality, she must examine her entire life -- from the wrong choices to the right mistakes. Grace's son Jack is a miracle. At three years old, he's fighting a mysterious, deadly disease that his doctors predicted would kill him as a baby. Even though it was determined to be mitochondrial disease, the little-known illness remains a mystery to medicine. Grace has sat by his bedside every minute he has been in the hospital, questioned every diagnosis, every medicine -- even poring over medical journals and books at home late into the night. To the world, Grace's fierce dedication is the sole reason for her son's survival. But someone suspects that perhaps Jack's disease is not what it seems. When an allegation of Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy is leveled against Grace, she begins to live in constant suspicion of everyone -- from the doctors and nurses surrounding her son in the hospital to her own husband. Who could possibly think that she has been purposely making her son ill to gain attention for herself? Although her husband believes their life is exactly as it seems to the outside world, Grace knows differently. She is harboring a secret -- the adulterous affair she's having with her first love. But perhaps her biggest betrayal of all is her shameful uncertainty about whether she's chosen the right path, the right husband, the right life. In this compelling and heartbreaking novel, critically acclaimed author Maribeth Fischer addresses how the choices we made yesterday can affect everything that lies before us.

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