Originally posted here; reviews both parts of Royal Pain for convenience's sake.

Note: The following review contains discussion of rape and dubious consent during sex.

Alchemy and science in the Middle Ages? Jackpot, baby. It’s like a more realistic yaoi version of Full Metal Alchemist, in which science is beheld as a marvel bordering on magic, and is both respected and feared. Just reading the description of Moors’ lightning machine in action is thrilling and illustrative of how such things would amaze the common minds of Middle Ages – and I guess it makes the story AU, given electricity was invented far after this era in time. To be fair, given the amazing scientific discoveries going on in the Middle East, it isn’t that much of a mindtwist to imagine a medieval times with that kind of power – kind of like part of the natural progression into the steampunk era, where dirigibles travel freely in Victorian England.

As for the story itself, it is on the most basic levels not really a new idea: king hires young man to do work for him; falls in love with him. Moors is a fireball of a character, cranky and unpredictable and unbendable. He also is prone to temper tantrums, which constantly put him at ends with King Jareth. And that’s when the entire thing falls apart. Jareth cannot stop thinking of Moors in the most lewd physical ways, despite initially valuing the young man for his cleverness and brains. In fact, the entire alchemy sub-plot is quickly shoved aside for the main course: Jareth having his way with Moors. Multiple times in multiple ways – and twice it can be legally deemed raped, even in that era. Moors hates Jareth for this – not only for the raping, but for the fact that this is not the first time a king has taken advantage of him. He constantly fights against Jareth’s advances, only to be told over and over that he is meant to serve only the king and deserves his punishment. He . . . deserves being raped? I’m sorry, what the hell. Just because a lot of original Japanese language yaoi loves to pull the rape card in the name of love doesn’t mean their OEL counterparts should do the same – and there seems to be nothing in the actual story that goes against said thinking or makes Moors seem like he’s in the right as he struggles to push away Jareth’s molesting.

Jareth is constantly molesting and paddling and even raping Moors and Moors keeps fighting him – until the end. In which (yes, I am spoiling this for you, I don’t care) Jareth makes ‘gentle’ love to Moors (no, Jareth, still rape) and by the end of their nightly session, Moors is enjoying it. And then Jareth proposes to him – and Moors says yes. He plans on marrying his rapist, his only qualm about it being that they are both men, looking forward to their “fairy tale romance”. Hmm, I must have not read any of the fairy tales in which the prince rapes the princess and she falls in love with him.

I’m sorry. I cannot, in good conscience, recommend to readers something that glorifies molestation and rape and abuse of power. Nothing in the story suggests that King Jareth will even receive repercussions for his actions, or that Moors will ever deal with the emotional aftermath of his own abuses at the hands of both his kings but will treat everything as a happy ending, being married to his rapist. So long, independent belligerent alchemist Moors, hello stereotypical doormat Moors. Naturally, no one bats an eye at the abuse, because everyone in the Middle Ages is fine with male-on-male rape – hey, Moors was totally asking for it, making Jareth so mad while being so attractive, why should we expect Jareth to control his lust and not force himself on Moors? Next you’ll tell me that ending the story with the rapist engaged to his happy blissful fiancee isn’t problematic at all ‘cause they’re in love and it’s hot.

The sex scenes were hot. They were well written. But they were, for the most part, non-consensual. To be asked through narration to excuse these actions because it’s a male/male romance and it has a supposed happy ending is deplorable and I won’t do it. I just won’t. I can’t. I kept hoping and hoping that Moors would overcome Jareth’s advances and the King would finally see how much of a terrible person he is. No dice. Oh, I’m sorry, is it because Lord Jareth falls in love with Moors over the course of the story? Am I supposed to think kindly of their relationship after this? I must be dense in the head because I don’t want to believe someone who consciously write these kind of things in their stories and frame the whole thing as romantic. If you enjoy these kinds of stories in which dub-con and non-con love saves the day, you will love Royal Pain. As for the rest of the fujoshi fanbase . . . just don’t. ( )