C.R. Asay

This book was so awesome. I didn't expect it to be this good, so it really took me by surprise. I couldn't put this book down, it was so engaging. I even tried to put it down. I tried to watch some porn, but couldn't finish, because dammit, I just had to know what the fuck happened to Rose. Did she punch somebody else in the face? Did she zap a humvee with her super alien powers? I just had to finish this book. It was really that compelling.

Of course, I am always looking for faults in books, which there usually are many. There's usually some stupid plot thing that doesn't make any sense. Or cardboard characters. Or just plain boring story-telling. But, I just couldn't find any of those faults in this book. And, believe me, I fucking tried to find the bullshit in this book. Hell, I was hoping for some bullshit, so at least I'd have something to critique. But no! I was denied!

This story is told by our narrator, Kris Rose, who is a Specialist in the U.S. Army. What the fuck a Specialist is, I have no fucking clue. Maybe she just makes damn fine Special sammiches. Who knows? But Kris (don't call her Kris) Rose is in fact special. She's a goddamn alien who can nuke people with lightning bolts from her fingers. Of course, she doesn't know she's an alien. She also doesn't know she was a mass-murderer.

So this story is the journey she takes with her army buddies, to find the aliens and piece together her sordid past. To become a better human than alien. To save the human race. And maybe, just maybe, fall in love.

I'm so pissed off right now, because I have nothing to bitch about. So, thanks to you C.R. Asay for writing an awesome book, and making me fail at my job. I really do hate books that suck, and I love finding the bullshit in them. But this book stumped me.… (meer)