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Promise me : how a sister's love launched the global… door Nancy Brinker
One of my favorite quotes from the book deals with that positive influence her mother had when it came to helping others. She said, “Instead of dwelling on all the things that you can’t do. . . figure out what you can do. What you will do.” (Page 7) And when her children decided to do something to raise money she backed them up all the way.
Much of the first half of the book is about Nancy’s close friendship with her sister Susan. This includes an entertaining account of a trip they took together through Europe. Their escapades were silly and fun, and they both seemed like girls with whom you would want to be friends.
The second half of the book is about Nancy’s life after her sister dies: how she copes with that loss, her personal life (marriages and son), and the development of the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation. I especially enjoyed the stories of the early fundraisers and how successful they were despite the trials encountered.
Interspersed between the chapters about Nancy’s story are sections including facts about breast cancer: the history of diagnoses and treatments, personal stories from survivors, current developments in the field of breast cancer research, and stories about the work and events that the foundation has done. These sections are filled with stories that are inspirational, moving and fascinating. I was stunned to read about some of the early treatments for breast cancer, and touched by the many personal stories.
Promise Me was a quick and compelling read. I was surprised that, regardless of the seriousness of the subject matter, I didn’t want to stop reading her story. If you are looking for a good inspirational book then you can’t go wrong with Promise Me. Even though the core of the story (the loss of her sister) is very sad, it does not leave you without hope for the future.
From the start, Nancy and Suzy are two very different sisters being raised in a household with one common theme - that support of and service to others is the only true path to happiness and fulfillment. The girls are brought up smothered with love and family, but with a sense of duty to the less fortunate and the less appreciated. That attitude, instilled in them both by their incredible mother, shapes both women as they mature and become wives, mothers and active members of their communities. When Suzy is diagnosed with breast cancer, and her sad prognosis becomes clear to the family, Suzy extracts a promise from her baby sister - that Nancy will make it better for other women, that she will do everything in her power to change the experience of breast cancer for women everywhere - from the social silence to the drab hospital waiting room, Nancy must bring women's needs to the forefront of scientific research. The promise is made, though Nancy at first has no idea how to proceed.
Suzy's death is the catalyst for Nancy's action, and the first breath of life for Susan G. Komen for the Cure. The remainder of the book summarizes the various actions and goals of the organization, with personal vignettes peppered throughout. Nancy's relationship with her second husband, Norman Brinker, is explored in detail as he was a motivating and educating force in her efforts at building and then maintaining a successful non-profit organization.
This book is full of life, full of a sense of purpose but without a holier-than-thou attitude regarding that greater purpose. I think Brinker's strengh and personality are evident on every page, as are her intelligence and wide breadth of knowledge on all subjects relating to breast cancer. I found her 'memoir' to be honest, uplifting and also strongly grounded in reality - her voice is strong, her message clear, yet her vulnerability as a sister and a woman are embraced. I highly recommend this book, I want to share it with my sister right away.
Product Description from Amazon:
Suzy and Nancy Goodman were more than sisters. They were best friends, confidantes, and partners in the grand adventure of life. For three decades, nothing could separate them. Not college, not marriage, not miles. Then Suzy got sick. She was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1977; three agonizing years later, at thirty-six, she died.
It wasn’t supposed to be this way. The Goodman girls were raised in postwar Peoria, Illinois, by parents who believed that small acts of charity could change the world. Suzy was the big sister—the homecoming queen with an infectious enthusiasm and a generous heart. Nancy was the little sister—the tomboy with an outsized sense of justice who wanted to right all wrongs. The sisters shared makeup tips, dating secrets, plans for glamorous fantasy careers. They spent one memorable summer in Europe discovering a big world far from Peoria. They imagined a long life together—one in which they’d grow old together surrounded by children and grandchildren.
Suzy’s diagnosis shattered that dream.
In 1977, breast cancer was still shrouded in stigma and shame. Nobody talked about early detection and mammograms. Nobody could even say the words “breast” and “cancer” together in polite company, let alone on television news broadcasts. With Nancy at her side, Suzy endured the many indignities of cancer treatment, from the grim, soul-killing waiting rooms to the mistakes of well-meaning but misinformed doctors. That’s when Suzy began to ask Nancy to promise. To promise to end the silence. To promise to raise money for scientific research. To promise to one day cure breast cancer for good. Big, shoot-for-the-moon promises that Nancy never dreamed she could fulfill. But she promised because this was her beloved sister.
I promise, Suzy. . . . Even if it takes the rest of my life.
Suzy’s death—both shocking and senseless—created a deep pain in Nancy that never fully went away. But she soon found a useful outlet for her grief and outrage. Armed only with a shoebox filled with the names of potential donors, Nancy put her formidable fund-raising talents to work and quickly discovered a groundswell of grassroots support. She was aided in her mission by the loving tutelage of her husband, restaurant magnate Norman Brinker, whose dynamic approach to entrepreneurship became Nancy’s model for running her foundation. Her account of how she and Norman met, fell in love, and managed to achieve the elusive “true marriage of equals” is one of the great grown-up love stories among recent memoirs.
Nancy’s mission to change the way the world talked about and treated breast cancer took on added urgency when she was herself diagnosed with the disease in 1984, a terrifying chapter in her life that she had long feared. Unlike her sister, Nancy survived and went on to make Susan G. Komen for the Cure into the most influential health charity in the country and arguably the world. A pioneering force in cause-related marketing, SGK turned the pink ribbon into a symbol of hope everywhere. Each year, millions of people worldwide take part in SGK Race for the Cure events. And thanks to the more than $1.5 billion spent by SGK for cutting-edge research and community programs, a breast cancer diagnosis today is no longer a death sentence. In fact, in the time since Suzy’s death, the five-year survival rate for breast cancer has risen from 74 percent to 98 percent.
I had three reasons for reading this book.
1. I’m currently going through treatment for breast cancer. I have another blog (In The Pink) about my experience and I'm reading as much material related to breast cancer as I can.
2. I’m a Zeta Alum. The Susan G. Koman Race for the Cure is very important to our women’s fraternity.
3. I received an ARC from the Amazon Vine review program – however this book was already on my to read list. Receiving it for review just moved it up to the top of the list.
One thing to keep in mind: if you are looking for an actual history of the Susan G. Koman Race For The Cure, then you should look elsewhere. This book is about Nancy Brinker and what motivated her to launch an all out global movement to end breast cancer. To understand the motivation and love behind the movement, you have to understand Nancy. This book does an excellent job in detailing what makes Nancy who she is and why finding an end to breast cancer is so paramount to her.
I found the book to be very inspirational, well written and hard to put down. It’s not an easy read. You might want to keep a box of tissues handy. Even though I knew that her sister Susan died from breast cancer, I still found myself crying when I reached that point in the book. I also found myself moved by the vignettes scattered throughout the book that detailed the battles others have fought. The vignettes also included information on the history of breast cancer treatment. I found them to be both horrifying and enlightening.
There is a great deal of information included in this book. It is presented in an easily read manner with interesting details and insights into the main players. If you enjoy memoirs or if you have any connection to breast cancer I highly recommend this book.
On a more personal note: Until I was diagnosed with it, breast cancer was always something that I was vaguely aware of – I supported the awareness campaigns. I did my monthly self exams. Yet, it was something that was just slightly outside my own life. My diagnoses made it a big part of my life. I always thought that the Susan G. Koman Race for the Cure was a worthwhile organization. After reading this book, I now realize that I may very well owe my life to Nancy Brinker and SGK. I’m a benefactor of early detection. Their dedication over the years have pulled breast cancer from the far recesses of a dark closet, shown a light own on it and brought the fight out into the open.
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