Rebecca Burgess (2)Besprekingen

Rebecca Burgess writes about their experiences growing up uninterested in crushes and dating, and being in distress about being abnormal and broken due to society's messages. They find out about asexuality and write about their struggles getting others to accept and understand them, as well as dealing with anxiety and OCD. Society's pressure about dating and having sex as markers of adulthood are dwelled on a lot in this book. Burgess tries dating, but they hate the physical contact that is expected. You can't help but to root for Burgess as they come to understand and accept themself and find a relationship that works for them. I loved the Good Omens shout-out in this book; Burgess says they see their own asexual relationship reflected in Aziraphale's and Crowley's. I think the intended audience for this book is young adult and older, based on the mentions of sex. The drawing style is a very 'childish' style and makes the book seem younger than it is. The page where it depicts various ace approaches to sex actually has illustrations of couples engaging in these activities, and with the cutesy cartoony drawing style it kind of takes you aback. Overall, this was a valuable book and I'm glad I read it. This is also a book I wish I'd had in high school.

Read the full review, including trigger warnings and representation list, at https://fileundermichellaneous.blogspot.com/2023/10/ace-week-books.html

This is a solid memoir, one which I related to a lot in my own asexual experiences. I appreciated the information breaks at the end of each chapter. I felt they didn’t interrupt the story too much, and they could be helpful for someone without knowledge of asexuality. I also really appreciated the parts about Burgess’s OCD and anxiety. A quick read with solid information and a great message of self acceptance and understanding.

What a way to feel validated. Rebecca Burgess covers topics that don't only pertain to identifying as asexual, but also her OCD, her anxiety, and other concerns she had/faced growing up, making this memoir relevant even if you aren't under the ace umbrella (which, if you are or are exploring your identify, I highly recommend this book). I've always struggled with figuring out how to tell my friends and family about my identity, and now honestly I feel like I can just give them this book to read to provide insight into how my mind and feelings work.

Delightful graphic memoir about growing up and being ace. Does a good job to describe how weird you feel when everyone and everything around you seems to be interested in sex, and you are not.

Shades of Hannah Montana!

Elle-Q is a viral internet singing sensation who has all the kids at Rainham Middle School excited for her every upload. Unknown to the students, Elle-Q's secret identity is Mia Tabolt, an autistic classmate who largely goes unnoticed except when she is being bullied by mean girls.

The plot is a bit standard -- best friend conflict, enemies to friends, playing in the big talent show -- but having the protagonist provide insight about living on the spectrum gives everything a fresh feel.

Good work from an #OwnVoices creator who is improving with each book. (See also: How to Be Ace: A Memoir of Growing Up Asexual.)

Recommended Ages: Gr. 3-7

Plot Summary: Mia feels most comfortable at school with her headphones on to block out as much sensory as possible. But Mia also tries to fit in and pretend she's not autistic based on the strong recommendation by her mother. Really, Mia only feels comfortable with her neighbor and best friend Charlie, who doesn't attend the same school. Charlie has been putting some of Mia's poetry to music and they've recorded their songs under a secret identity: Elle-Q. When Elle-Q is starting to become more viral, Charlie pressures Mia to join the local talent show and finally give their fans a real show. Mia can't imagine being on stage in front of all those people, with the lights, the loud noises, and so much more. What should she do?!

Setting:

Characters:
Mia - 12 y/o,
Charlie - them/them, Mia's best friend, the only person Mia can really be herself around
Jess - bully
Laura - in the social group with the bully but tries to stand up for Mia occasionally, other times directs super-harsh words towards her

Recurring Themes: confidence, autism, transgender, secret identity, popularity, bullying, upstander, music, friendship, mother/daughter relationship

Controversial Issues: none

Personal Thoughts: I loved this book. It was about autism but not preachy at all. Mia's relationship with her mom was heartbreaking. I loved that her best friend just happened to be transgender without any discussion of it. That's just who Charlie is and it was accepted by all in the book. There would be a lot to talk about at a book club meeting but I also think kids would pick it up and use it as a window/mirror without any further discussion,

Genre: realistic fiction, graphic novel

Pacing: medium-fast, graphic novel so reads quickly, decent amount of authentic self-reflection rather than action
Characters:
Frame:
Storyline:

Activity:

The illustrations, particularly the facial expressions were well done here, such a great compliment to the emotions of the story.

I loved that we’re given a full picture of Mia, how comforting routine is for her, how uncomfortable school can be due to sensory issues and bullies, her truly heartbreaking struggles with her mom and how music gives her this outlet to connect, to inspire, and express herself. The ups and downs of her arc make for a journey you’ll feel invested in, not that the outcome of the talent show mattered to me so much as I cared about the quality of this girl’s life going forward.

Mia’s mom has several moments here that will likely make you full-body cringe at things she says to her daughter but what was really fantastic is that she is not some one-dimensional villain, the author finds ways both subtly and overtly to show that this woman very much loves her daughter, it’s just that she’s struggling with how to help, it felt honest to show a parent who is at a loss and finding answers in the wrong places instead of truly hearing and communicating with her child.

I felt similarly about Mia’s frenemy Laura, there’s a lot of truth in her, we’ve all seen or even been a little two-faced at times, behaving differently depending on whose company we’re in. Laura had a complexity to her as did the mom and Mia which meant they weren’t always perfect people from start to finish of the story, and that sort of realistically flawed portrayal is always something I appreciate in a book.

Speak Up! is a fantastic middle grade graphic novel about Mia and her alter-ego, music sensation Elle-Q. Mia is different from the other kids in school in that she is autistic, and through the course of the novel she learns to speak her truth and be herself authentically.

First of all, I'm so glad this graphic novel exists! I think a lot of kids will find camaraderie with Mia, as she deals with a lot of things all kids go through and also some things that autistic kids especially can relate to. I appreciated how colorful and yet easy to read the layout of the panels and each page was - it was definitely easier on my eyes and senses than a lot of other graphic novels can be, even those geared for younger audiences. And the characters were all great, too; I especially loved Charlie, Mia's best friend and "musical genius" behind Elle-Q's sound.

I'd highly recommend this for any autistic person, anyone who loves an autistic person, or anyone who just wants a feel-good graphic novel. This delivers on all fronts!

Thank you to Quill Tree Books and NetGalley for providing a copy for review.½

Rebecca Burgess learns to cope with their asexuality surrounded by people who are either ignorant about or enraged by its existence or convinced they are one good lay away from a "cure." They also discuss their OCD, and while they don't explore any connection, I am curious about the frequency of any correlations that may occur between the two, how they might overlap in a Venn diagram say. The author bio on the back cover says they are autistic, but that seems to be only indirectly addressed in the narrative.

I found the anecdotes and information in the book to be interesting in an introductory sort of way. I was occasionally frustrated by the shortness of chapters as a topic seemed finished off without delving as deeply as I would have hoped. And while I liked the insights and info offered in the out-of-narrative chapter interstitials, I found their placement confusing or even spoiler-y. It might have been better to gather these factoids into their own chapter or an end matter section.

I'll certainly check out anything Burgess might do next. I see they have some webcomics too that I might explore soon.

Awww, this book was really great. It went through a lot of the sensory issues that folks with ADHD and/or autism have and some ways to manage them. It did this in a way that was positive and felt heartwarming. I wish I had a book like this when my kids were young. I'm glad it's here now though!

I think it’s interesting that the author chose to focus on “growing up ace” and left “...and autistic” out of the title, since that’s clearly a huge part of their experience. It’s a very particular version of an ace experience, but no book can be every book, and I’m very glad this exists!

This is the author's memoir of growing up asexual and struggling to come to an understanding and acceptance of what it means, while navigating a society that upholds sex and romantic relationships. This is a good intro for exploring teens and young adults to the less understood asexual identity, and can be an inspiring launchpad to learn more. Online resources are listed in a brief back matter.

A Picture Book about Sensory Differences. The vibration in her feet when she runs, the tap-tap-tap of her fork on the table at mealtime, the trickle of cool water running over her hands--these are the things that calm her jitters down. This book is for anyone who has ever felt the need for a wiggle, stomp, or squeeze!

(Note on pronouns: I used they/them pronouns for the author because that's what the bio on the back of this volume uses.)

This deals primarily with the time before Burgess knew asexuality existed (high school, college). Burgess worried about not feeling the way everyone else seemed to feel and initially tried to "fix" it by forcing themselves to do things that everyone else seemed to consider normal and natural - dating, kissing, touching - even though they didn't really want to and, in fact, sometimes became incredibly anxious while attempting those things. Although Burgess did eventually end up in a relationship with an asexual woman, they learned to stop thinking that relationships were some kind of ultimate goal that had to progress in a particular way. This memoir also touches on the author's struggles with OCD and anxiety, as well as job hunting after graduating from art school during the recession.

I got this on a whim after hearing about it, I think, on Twitter. The first part of the title was worrisome - it sounded prescriptive, and I wondered whether this would be a "one true way to be asexual" sort of book. Thankfully, I didn't get that impression at all from the work itself. Burgess wrote about their own experiences but made it clear that asexuality is a spectrum that encompasses a wide range of experiences that weren't necessarily the same as theirs.

I found that I could relate to quite a few things in this memoir, which was both good and bad. "Good" in the sense that it's nice to be reminded that I'm not the only one who thinks or feels this way or has had these experiences, because sometimes it sure feels like it. "Bad" in the sense that being able to relate to some of these experiences made me surprisingly anxious.

I appreciated that Burgess discussed both asexuality and their OCD and anxiety, and I particularly connected to this bit, in which Burgess forced themselves to sleep in the same bed with a guy they were dating (just sleep - there's no forced sex in the volume, for those worried about that possibility):

"Despite not liking being this close, I persevered through the night. A lot of people might think 'Why didn't you just say no?' But, I didn't know that asexuality existed... And when you've never felt anything before, you assume that everyone feels this way at first, and that the nice part must come after forcing yourself to do things."

This ties in pretty well with my experience with anxiety. For example, one thing that makes me really anxious is driving long distances and/or to places I'm unfamiliar with, especially if the driving conditions aren't absolutely perfect (great weather, no construction, little traffic). Forcing myself to do driving that's even just a little outside my comfort zone has helped me gradually expand my comfort zone, but I've also found that it makes it really difficult for me to accurately judge dangerous situations, because every situation feels dangerous. So I spent a portion of this graphic novel worried about what Burgess might force themselves to do and what red flags they might miss because it was too hard to recognize the difference between "this will be better once I expand my comfort zone" and "this is something I neither want nor need."

Burgess ends up in a decent place by the end of the volume: more comfortable in their own skin, doing work that pays the bills and uses the skills they learned in art school, and in a relationship with someone who understands them. I do wonder about the therapy aspect - the volume showed up to the point where Burgess's therapist accidentally pushed them to a breaking point that they eventually seemed to get past with the help of family. Did Burgess go back to that therapist, or find a better one who also wouldn't pathologize asexuality?

This didn't 100% work for me for reasons I can't articulate (aside from the "sympathetic anxiety" aspect), but overall I thought it was a good read.

(Original review posted on A Library Girl's Familiar Diversions.)

*Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for providing an eARC in exchange for an honest review.*

How To Be Ace is a graphic memoir that explores the author's journey to learn about and come to terms with being ace as she graduates high school and starts at art school.

The watercolor art was so cool and I really liked the way the story was told.

The title kind of makes it sound like there's only one way to be asexual, which is obviously false and the book does shortly touch on different labels under the ace umbrella. But I also feel like I should note that this is a memoir about one person's experiences and that being ace can be so different from one person to another. There were a few pages of more fact based info and I almost wished there'd been just slightly more of those.

That noted...
I really liked this book. It was great a great read. I loved how the asexual experience was portraited in words and illustrations. There were many times where the story got a little bit too relatable.

This book is also about more than just being ace, since Rebecca also has OCD which is also covered.

Overall a beautiful, hopeful, and emotional memoir.