Update 22/02: I realise that audiobooks are like that, but I also found out that there can be better audiobooks than this. This was truly a middle-grader level book, but I do not regret this review because I was really pissed.

Review:
2.5 stars at the most. Rounded up because I feel sorry for the book.

My first mistake was probably forgetting this was about vampires. Personally, I find vampires seriously boring. I just don’t like them. It was pretty obvious that the professor was definitely a vampire, what with the Dracula accent (I’ve no idea where its actually from, but .....Transylvania probably?) and pale skin, and weird eyes.

I did not love it. It was very stereotypical in some places, and frankly, a bit racist. I found the narration very boring, and not at all capturing my attention. The writing itself seemed seriously wooden, and robotic, and the characters seem very one-dimensional and with zero depth. We get absolutely no introduction, and get thrown into the story. While I normally love discovering-the-world-with-the-characters, this one was just boring.

I thought audiobook narration didn’t include the “said nick”, “said Michelle”, etc parts of the text, when narrated by more then one person, but I don't listen to audiobooks, so I'm not sure. These were some of my reactions to the things happening:

"For a newspaper"
I thought reporters were required to say which newspaper they were from.

THIS IS SO OBVIOUS!?!?!??! Obviously he can hear you, he’s a vampire. They have supernatural hearing, and sight, and the other senses.

A legend, a folktale? Well, obviously they exist, how can this get any more obvious.

Why was he drawing attention to the stake? Is it going to have to be used for killing him later?

And finally we have the title of the story......The Vampire’s Tear. Her beautiful neck? I'm pretty sure that's objectification. If it’s pink, how is it supposed to look like a tear? Oh, a brass chain? As if a modern infrared alarms and video cameras have ever stopped thieves.

Are they speaking in Transylvanian? Is it possible they are werewolves? That strange gold ring is going to be a important plot point.

It is really disconcerting the way they read each other’s minds and say the exact same thing. All the characters. They'll say most of their dialogues together.

Oh wow it’s gone is it? He was extremely upset? The accents are bit stereotypical and racist and that’s my opinion.

“"He... he's dead!" cried Max, his voice breaking. "One of my best friends... oh, Phil!" "What!" cried Bill, staring at Phil's body lying on the floor. He felt cold and his legs were weak. "Are you sure, Max?" asked Nick nervously, as his heart beat wildly. "He's cold and his face is so white," said Max, his voice shaking. "We have to call the police."”

If you’re basing that someone’s dead by them being cold and their face being white, may God help you. I agree, you should definitely call the police, but maybe after you call 911? For an ambulance maybe?

The policeman knows quite a lot about 19th century architecture. I’m also pretty sure signs of poisoning can be ruled out at the scene of the crime. Also, a lot of crimes are committed without signs of violence.

Why, on Gods green earth, does the camera move around?!?!? I have not seen a single CCTV camera that moves around. And even if those exist, why would you use them with such a famous and valuable jewel?

Why did you have to meet him? Probably because he is a vampire

"This case is so confusing, because nothing makes sense!" said Bill nervously.
Finally someone said it.

At this point I just finished with it, and gave up. It was almost exactly as I predicted, with the murder mystery I did not guess, but I'd stopped trying.

I think another reason I didn't like it was because I've gotten used to writing that's meant for people above 15, like not-middle-grade writing. I feel I would have enjoyed this more had I seen it 3-4 years ago, and I hadn't read so much good fiction.

That's all I have to say. I recommend it to teachers who use it for teaching, in a teacher-aid way, this was pretty good, but personally just not for me.… (meer)

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trisha_tomy | Jun 1, 2021 |

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