Bob German

review of
Saint Bob German's Krylon Underground
- 1984-1992 - Nine Years in Zine Culture
by tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE - November 23 - December 26, 2015

The full review is here: https://www.goodreads.com/story/show/411386-krylon-underscrutiny . It's quite possible that if you read every other word of it as quickly as possible you'll have a true Krylon Underground experience.

Over the last 37 yrs, since August of 1978, I've been published in the following 117 (maga)zines:

L=A=N=G=U=A=G=E (NYC, 1978)
Mike Film Form Letter (Baltimore, 1978, 1979, 1981, 1982, 1983, 1990, 1995)
Hard Crabs (Baltimore, 1979)
RAWZ (London, 1979)
Suggestion Box Residue (Baltimore, 1979, 2011)
dop e (BalTimOre, 1980)
DDC#040.002 (BalTimOre, 1981, 1982, 1985)
DOC(K)S (Ventabren, 1981)
HOMEX (BalTimOre, 1982)
End Paper (Toronto, 1982)
umbrella (Glendale, 1982)
Tarantula Hill Felark Sun = Times Bulletin Newsletter (San Antonio, 1982)
A HUNDRED POSTERS (NYC, 1983, 2010)
The Second Transform Book (Brøndby Strand, 1983)
the Stark Fist of Removal (Dallas, 1983, 1984)
Thermos (Norfolk, 1983)
False Positive (San Francisco, 1983)
mambo press update (San Antonio, 1983)
Bambù (Pescara, 1983)
Data File (Los Angeles, 1983)
NEO-NOOZE (Tepoztlan, 1983)
High Performance (Los Angeles, 1983)
FOMT QT BULLETIN (Larne, 1984)
A Trip to Akademgorod (Forte dei Marmi, 1984)
Factsheet Five (Medford, 1984)
OP (Olympia, 1984)
LEVEL (Indianapolis, 1984)
Neoist Prototype Ark Two (Paris, 1984)
SMILE (London, 1985, 1989)
SMILE (Montréal, 1985)
SMILE (Minden, 1985)
Total (Odzaci, 1985)
SECOND MANIFESTo (Odzaci, 1985)
Lost and Found Times (Columbus, 1985)
Hagaki Magazine (Inomiya City, 1985)
Transparent SMILE (BalTimOre, 1985)
Popular Reality (Ann Arbor, 1985, 1986, 1987, 2002)
LISME (Amsterdam, 1985)
EKSTRAKTION (Tournay, 1985)
Hare/Hunter/Field (Fremont, 1985)
Surreal Estates (Knoxville, 1986)
Work in Progress (Zurich, 1986)
Deaf Education SMILE: (BalTimOre, 1986)
Light Times (Los Angeles, 1987)
A. C. Gazette (Champaign, 1987)
Phosphorusflourish (Champaign, 1987)
PELO (Ponte Nossa, 1987)
KAOS (London, 1987)
Shattered Wig Review (BalTimOre, 1987, 1988, 2013)
PhotoStatic (Iowa City, 1988)
Box of Water (San Francisco, 1988)
(S)CRAP (Phoenix, 1988)
Cinematograph (San Francisco, 1988)
Perpetual Motion (NYC, 1988)
SMILE (Dundee, 1988)
CoBalt Newsletter (BalTimOre, 1988, 1989)
Variant (Dundee, 1989)
SOUS LE MANTEAU (Montréal, 1989)
ottotole (San Francisco, 1989)
OVO (Knoxville/Portland (OR), 1989, 1991, 2012, 2014)
The Monthly Me@nder (Rensselaer, 1990)
Gajoob (Salt Lake City, 1990, 1991)
The Single Eye (Montréal, 1990)
The international NEOIST SLIME (Amsterdam, 1990)
Experimental Musical Instruments (Nicasio, 1990, 1996, 1997)
Retrofuturism (Iowa City, 1990, 1991)
N D (Austin, 1990)
MadWoman (Chicago, 1990)
Weiver Review (Portland (ME), 1990)
Krylon Underground (Bethesda, 1990)
Reality Sandwich (BalTimOre, 1990, 1991)
Leisure (Cardiff, 1990)
Black Eye (NYC, 1991)
H23 (Athens (OH), 1991)
Wray (Cleveland, 1992)
The Subtle Journal of Raw Coinage (Schenectady, 1992)
Painted Bride Quarterly (Philadelphia, 1992)
egomania (Derbyshire, 1992)
VITAL (Netherlands, 1993)
COPY-LEFT (Zürich, 1993)
Fatuous Times (London, 1994)
MUSICWORKS (Toronto, 1995, 1996)
Link (BalTimOre, 1997)
Tensetendoned (Preston Park, 1997)
Awake! (Toronto, 1998)
Guinea Pig Zero (Philadelphia, 1998)
Street Rat (Pittsburgh, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2004)
Kapot (Utrecht, 1999)
MandRagora (Pittsburgh, 1999)
Parasol Post (Leicester, 2000)
Anarchy - A Journal of Desire Armed (Columbia, 2000)
Super Eight - Newsletter of the Melbourne Super 8 Film Group Inc (Melbourne (AUS), 2000)
Green Anarchist (London, 2000)
No Frills (Sydney, 2000)
URBANIA (Sao Paulo, 2001)
Little Rock Free Press (Little Rock, 2001)
Noisegate (London, 2002)
Strike (Pittsburgh, 2002)
POSTED (internet, 2003)
Art World (China, 2003)
Post Moderne Otter (Pittsburgh, 2004)
Encylopaedia Destructica - Bumba IV (Pittsburgh, 2007)
OTHERZINE (San Francisco, 2009, 2010)
PARAPHILIA (internet, 2009)
Rampike (Windsor, 2010, 2012, 2014)
Dream-Zine: The Collaboration! (internet, 2010)
Annandale Dream Gazette (internet, 2010, 2011, 2013)
The OPEN SPACE magazine (Red Hook, 2011, 2014)
OUTPOST JOURNAL (Providence, 2011)
Tip of the Knife (internet, 2012)
Sibila (NYC/Brazil/internet, 2012)
Otoliths (Rockhampton/internet, 2012)
HTMLGIANT (internet, 2013)
INCITE Journal of Experimental Media (Pittsburgh, 2013)
And/Or (Charleston, 2014)
APT. E14 (London/internet, 2014)
ACRES (BalTimOre, 2015)

& that, dear reader, is where I adamantly maintain culture is at. It's NOT in the homogenizing, brain-washing mass media; it's in the smaller (often more internationalist - as I hope the above list hints at) publications where the liveliest free-thinking minds congregate. [For a more complete & detailed list of my publications go here: http://idioideo.pleintekst.nl/Bibliography.html ]

Krylon Underground wasn't the 1st (maga)zine I was ever in, it wasn't the 1st punk zine I was published in (A. C. Gazette probably has that distinction), it wasn't the 1st anarchist (maga)zine I was published in (my own DDC#040.002 or Mike Gunderloy's Factsheet Five or Crowbar's Popular Reality or Gunderloy's The Monthly Me@nder might be able to claim that distinction depending upon how one defines "anarchist (maga)zine"), but it IS the 1st of all of those to have almost all of its issues reprinted in bk form & that's very, VERY important.

I honestly wish that every (maga)zine listed above (w/ one exception possibly) were reprinted in bk form so that these containers of culture in its mostly uncensored & unco-opted VITALITY cd be given greater longevity.

But let's begin at a beginning shall we?

"In some cases no attribution is given to individual pieces. This is for various reasons. Some pieces arrived with no attribution. Some authors chose to publish with no attribution. Some attribution was lost during the editing process. Sometimes an author might later decide he or she no longer recognizes himself or herself in the piece, and later removes attribution.

"In any of these cases, it may be easier for the reader to simply consider the piece attributable to Karen Eliot. If you are unfamiliar with Karen Eliot, please consult Wikipedia, or some other source which is equally all-knowing and infallible." - p 2

"Karen Eliot" is one of several names used collectively & somewhat commonly at the time of Krylon Underground"s existence. German's suggestion is akin to saying 'Let those who are anonymous be collectively perceived under the umbrella of Anonymous.' He cd've similarly suggested that they be thought of as Alan Smithee, David A. Bannister, Monty Cantsin, etc. I think that his promotion of Wikipedia as "equally all-knowing and infallible" is intended to be tongue-in-cheek. Wikipedia is most definitely NOT "all-knowing and infallible" when it comes to subjects like neoism - wch is what the Karen Eliot identity is usually associated w/.

German introduces the early days of Krylon Underground (1984) thusly:

"These were the first, a high school experiment for a kid who had trouble communicating verbally, but who excelled at reading and writing. An audience of, oh, I don't know, let's just say more than a few, more than several, but no more than a five mile radius from the high school. The audience represented my community, my circle of friends, peers, and acquaintances; the people I knew &/or wanted to know better. This was my reaching out."

[..]

"They're here so that you can see what those early issues looked like, but reduced in size so that (a) they won't waste valuable pages, and (b) nobody has to be forced to read what's in them." - p 5

Now, I'm one of those often-thorough people. I wd've happily read all the juvenilia if only to observe the growth of the editor's mind. Alas, this compilation is missing issues # 1 & 2. Despite the reduced size, I actually read this tiny print using a magnifying glass. German was immediately entrepreneurial: "NEW SERVICE: For a mere $25/YEAR, I will assign you a mailbox here at the club, so you can order items and publications without your parents finding them, and pick them up at your own convenience." (p 8, issue Vol I, No. 6, December 1984) That's the spirit!

In the same issue there's an "ASK HENRY" feature that elicited this question: "Dear henry, Did Adam have a belly button? If so, that means God had one too, since Adam was modeled after God. Think about it. - Sean" (p 8) That might be a fun trick question to ask the next Christinane zombie you get stuck conversing w/.

In German's intro to January 1985 he writes: "One could argue that the 1984-1985 school year, which was supposed to be my senior year" (p 9) - so he was a senior in high school when he was putting out Krylon Underground. That's pretty precocious but also an indicator of how widespread DIY media was becoming w/ the proliferation of photocopiers that wd've been close to nonexistent a mere decade before. The SciFi world had had fanzines for something like 35 yrs or more prior to this but they wd've been printed on mimeograph machines, a somewhat more labor-intensive technology.

Reading this Krylon Underground bk resonates deeply w/ me even tho I'm about 14 yrs older than German &, therefore, leaving behind things he was entering, b/c there's still a subcultural overlap & much of what Krylon Underground represents is very familiar to me. Take, eg, this: "The plan was to meet 666 days after at the site of the Marble Bar in Baltimore" (p 14). The Marble Bar was one of my main stomping grounds from, maybe, 1979ish to 1985ish. It was, for me, Baltimore's most important punk club, its pioneering punk club - kindof B-More's CBGB or some such. I spent a considerable amt of time there & was thrown out at least once - not necessarily an easy thing to do considering how 'permissive' & tolerant the place was. When Roger, the coowner, died from a cocaine-induced heart attack in 1984, things just weren't the same anymore.

By October of 1985 German had "transferred to a new school (we had moved)" (p 17) thusly fleshing out the above-quoted "supposed to be my senior year". I don't know whether he 'had to' repeat a yr &, if so, why, but I deduce that it's not indicative of a lack of intelligence on his part. More likely, he didn't fit in & didn't want to fit in. I can relate. I graduated from high school w/ close to the lowest possible passing grade & this can easily be explained by the utter boredom I experienced in response to the low level of intellectual stimulus that the schools I attended offered.

By Vol 3, No 1 (October, 1985) there were "Crassifieds" advertising anarchist punk band records by the likes of Black Flag & the Dead Kennedys (p 20). I was already bored by punk by then but at least the anarchist 'promise' that may've started w/ the Sex Pistols had been fleshed out a bit by the mid-'80s. From my POV, most of the punk bands in B-More in the early yrs lacked any political analysis & were more self-absorbed in a somewhat nihilistic & occasionally borderline right-wing drug-abusing mania. As such, I was glad to see more punk bands taking anarchist stances even if I found the music unimaginative & conformist.

There was more political activism in those days centered against nuclear power & weaponry than there seems to be now. Post the WWII atomic bombings of Hiroshima & Nagasaki there'd been a pretty strong thread in SF warning people of the apocalyptic dangers of such warfare. Krylon Underground was in the thick of it:

"DON'T ASK WHAT NUCLEAR WAR CAN DO TO YOU, ASK WHAT YOU CAN DO TO STOP NUCLEAR WAR. HERE ARE A FEW SUGGESTIONS:

"1) WORK TO GET THE LAND BACK FROM THE MILITARY.
2) WORK FOR A FAIR BUDGET, TRANSFERRING MILITARY SPENDING TO SOCIAL SPENDING. WE WANT JOBS, NOT BOMBS, AND JOBS FOR PEACE, NOT WAR.
3) DEMILITARIZE YOUR LOCAL COLLEGE OR UNIVERSITY AND/OR YOUR COMMUNITY, TOWN OR CITY.
4) RESIST THE POVERTY DRAFT. FIND WORK ALTERNATIVES FOR POOR PEOPLE AND PEOPLE OF COLOR." - p 22

When I read something or when I witness a movie I often wonder whether some references are as obvious to other people as they are to me. EG: How many readers realize that "DON'T ASK WHAT NUCLEAR WAR CAN DO TO YOU, ASK WHAT YOU CAN DO TO STOP NUCLEAR WAR" is a take-off of the famous inaugural JFK speech?: "ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country." Kennedy's intention being, of course, to tell the American public that we must be less selfish & work together for the good of the nation - a flaw in this being that what's 'good for the nation' may really be something that's propagandized as such by a plutocracy that disguises its self-serving motives. I find this anti-nuke plea to be much more intelligently productive. Has the general American public come to accept & be in denial that this country is constantly at war?! Sometimes it seems so. Will I ever live to see a demilitarization?! I hope so but I'm not holding my breath, I'm not even holding someone else's breath. As long as we have religion & capitalism (not to mention yr basic biological aggro) we're going to have war & more war.

Another thing that was topical at the time were the "Faces of Death" video compilations of footage of executions & the like. I cd never bring myself to check them out but they were certainly popular w/ at least a few friends of mine. For me, they were too much like snuff films, a genre that I prefer to not encourage.

"I also just saw Faces of Death. Seeing that movie reinforced my hate for war and fights. It also helped me understand vegetarians. It mentioned that Hiler caused the death of SIX MILLION Jews. Call me unimaginative, but I can't picture six million of anything. I never will understand how the people let that happen, and I hope it never happens again, but doesn't everybody?" - p 28

I can understand it all too well but then I have a pessimistic view of humanity. I strongly suggest reading Lewis Yablonsky's bk entitled Robopaths (you can read my review of that here: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/3132178-robopaths ) if you want a clear view on the social dynamics of mass destructive behavior. As for "everybody" hoping "it never happens again"?! We shd be so lucky.

By Vol V, No 1 (August, 1986) is when Krylon starts to get good for me. There's a bit more imagination: "Welcome to the Issue issue, the "Oh, how much I miss you" issue, the "Please don't make me kiss you" issue, the "Out of toilet tissue" issue..." (p 38) The Church of the SubGenius makes an appearance w/ its widespread "What the HELL do you thunk you're doing?" tract & there's more anti-nuclear concern:

"WHAT WE NEED TO DO TO INSURE NO NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST

""No one makes a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could only do little." (Edmund Burke)

"*
President Reagan relishes his role as number-one salesman for nuclear power and for the U.S. high-tech weapons industry. The U.S. Congress backs him in that role, but not unanimously. Public write-ins and call-ins to the U.S. Congress were nine-to-one AGAINST FUNDING the MX missile in 1985, but Congress voted to fund the MX anyway!

"In another case, write-ins and call-ins have been more than 100-to-one against a weapons program, but Congress voted to fund it anyway! So we have some clear evidence that democracy doesn't work at all when it comes to funding big weapons programs."

[..]

"Well, the U.S. weapons industry has become one of the biggest (if not the biggest) industry the world has ever known. That gives them unbelievable power to influence politicians and how they vote when the weapons funding bills come to a vote in Congress. We all know that "money talks."" - p 40

Keep in mind that this was back in the day when tracts like this were still being typed on typewriters. Computer layouts wd've been rare-to-nonexistent. As such, what might seem confusingly unsexy to some people born into the computer age was pretty-damn convincing just for its clean clarity - despite minor grammatical errors like "industry" instead of 'industries'. As for the "weapons industry": it still thrives off of greedy exploitation & fear-mongering, sadly. There's always an 'other' to use as a boogeyman. It's no longer the Red Menace or even the Yellow Peril, it's ISIS or whatnot. If ISIS isn't already a government conspiracy for keeping fear alive in the interests of homogenization & lack of critical thinking it certainly serves that purpose 'admirably'.

In Vol 5 No 3 (December, 1986 / January, 1987) there's a poem that addresses the destruction of positive childhood energy thru suppression of even the slightest abnormalities by school:

"The teacher came and smiled at him.
"What's this?" she said, "Why don't you draw
something like Ken's drawing?"
"Isn't that beautiful?"
After that his mother bought him a tie.
And he always drew airplanes and rocketships like everyone else
And he threw the old picture away.
And when he lay out alone looking at the sky,
It was big an blue and all of everything.
But he wasn't anymore." - p 54… (meer)