Joshua Harris (1)Besprekingen

Reorder your romantic life in the light of God's Word and find more fulfilment than a date could ever give - a life of sincere love, true purity and purposeful singleness.

I Kissed Dating Goodbye shows what it means to entrust your love life to God. Joshua Harris shares his story of giving up dating and discovering that God has something even better—a life of sincere love, true purity, and purposeful singleness.

very short. it felt like an in - depth sermon on 2 Timothy. he has good points, but he confined his discussion to orthodoxy. I think he could have easily made it this book into a single chapter in a larger book on the larger topic of humility general. still, I'm glad I read it.

The book that started this author off at the age of 21. Since then he has written several others and has gone on to become a lead pastor and even got married. This book gives hope to those teens that strive for sexual purity and waiting on God's spouse for them.

Good little book that's easy to read and makes a number of good points. A good (and necessary) exhortation; very sad that Josh has walked away from the faith.

This is the book to read on starting and maintaining a relationship that glorifies God, should be read by every Christian who wants to engage in courtship

A waste of time and money.

Study Guide - (Separate) by Joshua Harris
With Shannon Harris and Nicole Mahaney

The book starts with an interesting premise and is well written. There are, however, some things that I disagree with him on.

Toward the end of the book it becomes clear that the author is not yet married. He has set forth his reasons for avoiding lust and being pure through greater dedication to godliness. Great. I wonder if he changes his opinion after getting married. I see that 5 or 6 years later he is married and puts out another book: [b:Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship|48758|Boy Meets Girl Say Hello to Courtship|Joshua Harris|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1170356477s/48758.jpg|266710]. Indeed he has gone on to write a number of gospel oriented books.

The upcoming generation has largely taken part of his advice: Dating has become rare. I see that as a loss. There is value in not pairing up too soon and value in getting to know a number of different people of both sexes.

I like his emphasis on emotional as well as physical purity.

It still feels like he is missing something. Perhaps that missing something is in [b:Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship|48758|Boy Meets Girl Say Hello to Courtship|Joshua Harris|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1170356477s/48758.jpg|266710].

I finally read I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris and.... It was a mess.

While reading, I wasn't sure if it was supposed to be a memoir or a self-help guide to a new (but not new at the same time) attitude regarding sex and dating. Knowing that it was written by a 21 year old doesn't make it any easier, and I'm glad I didn't read it myself when I was a teenager.

While there were sections that could be helpful when starting a new relationship, those sections were severely overshadowed by the legalism of adding more rules to an already complex culture. I'm also so tired of reading books about dating and sex that constantly remind you that men and women are different (we actually aren't, because women are just as attracted to the body as men are, and are just as likely to deal with lust as men).

2/5 stars

Sobre o que você edificará sua vida? Com transparência surpreendente, Joshua Harris compartilha como redescobriu a relevância e o poder da verdade cristã. Para os indiferentes ou espiritualmente inertes, as reflexões cômicas e envolventes de Harris sobre as crenças cristãs mostram que a ortodoxia não é apenas para eruditos - é para todos que anelam conhecer o Senhor Jesus Cristo. Como Harris escreve: Cheguei a aprender que a teologia é importante. É importante não porque desejamos impressionar as pessoas, e sim porque o que sabemos a respeito de Deus molda a maneira como pensamos e vivemos. A teologia é importante porque, se a entendermos de modo errado, toda a nossa vida será errada. Se você está apenas começando no cristianismo ou já é um crente veterano, este livro o ajudará a descobrir as verdades eternas da Escritura. Enquanto Harris o desfia a arraigar sua fé e sentimentos para com Deus na pessoa, obra e palavras de Jesus, ele responde a perguntas como estas: Como é Deus e como ele fala comigo? O fato de que Jesus é tanto humano como divino faz alguma diferença? Como a morte de Jesus, na cruz, paga a penalidade dos meus pecados? Quem é o Espírito Santo e como ele opera em minha vida? Com graça e sabedoria, Harris o inspirará a deleitar-se na verdade que cativou a mente e o coração dele. Ele o chamará a cavar profundamente para ter uma fé tão sólida que você poderá edificar sua vida sobre ela.

I was uncertain as to how good this book would be, but I ended up enjoying it. My best friend and I shared a joke about it. She only got a couple of chapters in before she got to busy to finish it......

It's Not Fighting the Good Fight

It was with great sadness that I read this book. Such potential, so thwarted. When Christ comes to bring freedom to us, Josh Harris writes of walls and barriers.

He writes from a style that seems to indicate a lack of experience in this area. And experience is exactly what is needed to be proficient in this kind of work. The experience of failure, the angst of gender inter-relationship- this is missing in Harris' work and understanding. It is only through risk that we can experience growth, and throughout Harris' work one gets the idea that he is attempting to remove all possibility of risk, and so therefore all possibility of failure. It seems to be written from a perspective of fear.

Harris also uses poor exegesis in order to understand scriptural dynamics. He applies the situations of the cultural context of the many Biblical cultures straight to the modern western culture, with no attempt to contextualize in between. He jumps from observations of the text to application, without the all important step of interpreting the author's intent. Perhaps as a result he ends up with a very legalistic approach to gender relationships, in which dating is simply "off=limits". Were this true, life would certainly be more simple, easier, safer. But that is not what life is about. It requires complex responses.

It is certainly commendable to advocate friendship with the opposite gender. This needs to go on much more than it does now. And indeed, part of Christ's call of the gospel was the reconciliation of the genders, as evidenced in the Samaritan Woman. But Harris' removal of dating as an option in fact further divides the genders. He would restrict most interactions to group contexts, not allowing for the development of a close relationship, even be it platonic. We must remember that Christ's interaction with the Samaritan Woman was individual, not with a group, and his disciples were surprised not that he was talking with a Samaritan, but rather that he was talking with a woman. Certainly Christ was not attempting to date the woman, but it was perceived as such by those within that culture, because it was an intimate, private moment. Such moments, the bedrock of relationships, would be denied in Harris' worldview.

But even the lack of opportunity for development of a romantic relationship through dating flies in the face of God's best. In Josh's canon, one gets the impression there would be no Song of Songs, or major parts of Ruth. (Feet were often a euphemism in Hebrew literature for another body part.)

Harris seems to take one cut and apply it to all Christians. Such can not be done. It might be necessary for some- whom am I to judge another man? This book could even be very beneficial to younger folks in their pre-20's, who feel pressured too much. There *is* way too much focus on the physical in Western relationships. Would that Harris had attempted to apply it only to those types. For a book that does approach the dating relationship from a more general perspective, I would recommend Lewis Smedes' Sex For Christians, which, despite the title, has much to offer for the unmarried and not sexually active as well. Smedes writes from a perspective of the freedom that Christ has to offer us, while we maintain moral boundaries, but boundaries that apply in different ways to different people, as Christ works within all our differences.

Thank goodness I missed this craze back when I was of age. Had I followed his advice, I'd probably be unmarried and living with my parents.

I find the whole heart analogy to be preposterous. You don't give away a piece of your heart to everyone you like or fall in love with. You may be in love with someone for a time, but that relationship's end doesn't leave you with a permanent hole in your heart. You may experience heartbreak, but it eventually heals. You learn a lesson. You become stronger. That's life. Following this ridiculous set of rules to prevent heartbreak is asinine. I'd rather be with someone whose heart has been tested and made stronger than someone whose heart has been untried.

I did actually appreciate his advice not to date just to be physical or to validate your own existence. Don't be a jerk to a girl. I did not like his idea of treating every woman with respect because she's someone's future wife. How about respecting woman because she is another human being, just as equal in the sight of God as you?

I find it extremely interesting that the author is now walking away from what he taught in this book. Perhaps understanding the damage this book has done will prompt a change in groups that tout it.

Proponents of this book may feel that my marriage is a mistake because we met in college (while flirting!), but I'm much too busy preparing for our 10 year wedding anniversary with my husband and daughter to care.½

Excellent book.½

I am not a big fan of Joshua Harris. I haven't read his book on dating (more accurately not dating) or anything he's written on relationships and marriage. I did read his book on the Church ("Stop Dating the Churc"h re-titled as "Why Church Matters"). I found it mediocre and insensitive to where people are coming from when they are ambivalent to church. I also found him theologically narrow.

So I was surprised that Harris's book on doctrine and theology was something I actually enjoyed. In this book, Harris describes his 'conversion' to the sort of Christian who cared about doctrine. Then he reviews various different doctrines, in sort of an autobiographical survey of systematic theology. This is really what makes this book work. The theological weight of this book is rather light, though he does point readers to deeper places (and Wayne Grudem). What you get instead is Harris's wrestling with doctrine and the story of why he thinks certain truths matter. This is autobiography as theology which endears it to me, even if I do not sign off on all of Harris's generally reformed model of the faith.

I think doctrine matters and this is a passionate defense. More than that, Harris comes across as likable. His last chapter about 'humble orthodoxy' is the best part of the book. Harris is not arguing for a narrow and intolerant orthodoxy; rather he is arguing that Christians hold on to truth without compromising. This doesn't mean they need to be judgmental and narrow-minded. Point well taken.

I am reviewing the updated version of this book elsewhere (now titled, "Why Church Matters") so will not provide a full review here, but here are some of criticisms:

1. This book is addressed to people who have intellectual doubts about why the church is important and does not address pastoral concerns of those who have been seriously wounded by the church. As I read this book I thought of people I know with 'Church Angst' and found that Harris either is unaware of the ways in which churches can wound people, or he doesn't think that the emotional part of this is important enough to address.

2. This book criticizes church 'daters' as being too individualistic and me-centered but fails to provide a compelling ecclesiology. In the end it says you should join a church because that is how you will grow and get the most out of your spiritual life. Sounds individualistic and me-centered to me. Perhaps it is because this book has a low view of sacraments (the sacraments are there to demonstrate your commitment to Jesus and thus the church).

3. God's mission for the church is given lip-service but is not unpacked and only stated a few times. Thus Harris provides anecdotes of people getting serious about church and leaving their hobbies behind (clubs, special interest groups). It made me wonder, what is the purpose of church if you real advocate that the individual Christians in your group pull back from commitments to non-Christians? Be committed to church, sure, but can the church reach the world?

4. The book is written by a pastor from a pastors perspective and so the exhortations to serve in church, tithe at church and make your pastor's life a joy, seem a little self serving.

My other review, for another venue needs to extol the virtues of this book a little more (and there are some), so I am using my goodreads to gripe a little.

courtship counsel

This is the best book I've read on dealing with lust and sexual sin. I highly recommend it.
Josh Harris, author of I Kissed Dating Goodbye, deals transparently with the roots of lust and the real issues behind it. Then he equips the reader with the tools needed to fight it.
The biggest problem we have in the fight for moral purity is that we've let the lies of the world influence our thinking. Josh helps us see where we've gone astray and realign with God.
One other key point about this is that it is not just for men, but for women as well. We all battle it in different ways and Josh deals with it evenhandedly.
Read it!

Lots to think about here in this book. I sat down with my Sunday school class and we went through this. We didn't agree with everything but there was a lot of things well said as well.

This is the book to read on starting and maintaining a relationship that glorifies God, should be read by every Christian who wants to engage in courtship

Joshua Harris is a pastor and author, a father and husband, and a disciple of Christ. His book Dug Down Deep shares his journey to becoming a Christian.

The book title refers to the need to build your faith upon a solid foundation. And the author attempts to contribute to your solid foundation, first sharing with you his story of growth and enlightenment. He begins with what he terms his "rumspringa", which is based on the Amish tradition of allowing teenagers to run wild and explore the world before they make their choice on whether or not to stay in the Amish world. He says that his rumspringa couldn't compare-- he never got drunk or did drugs, but just displayed some mild rebellion-- but he was somewhat apathetic about God and his faith when he was younger. He grew his faith over time.

He then explains about the meaning of common terms like "doctrine" and "orthodoxy", and other common Christian building blocks, like the Trinity, Jesus, his crucifixion and resurrection. And his final chapter touches on how humility is needed when following and spreading God's Word. It is about recognizing how flawed we all are, and coming to God in humility and repentance.

The author is very "readable" and relatable. He doesn't talk down to you or over-complicate things. He uses a lot of personal stories (both his own and of others) as examples. And he is humble.

The main argument (serious courtship vs. casual uncommitted relationships) is good and biblical and easy to make a strong case for. I support the author's opinions, but the book is kind of boring. The best parts are quotes from other authors. That being said, I am happy for Mr. and Mrs. Harris!

Great book on a great subject. Add it to your reading list!

You can find my full review at Quieted Waters.

This was a refreshing and informative title squeezed into a small book, in the compact hardback style C. J. Mahaney has also used for Living the Cross Centered Life and Humility.

Joshua Harris, originally famous for his dating books, moved to Maryland to study under C. J. Mahaney, pastor of Covenant Life Church. After some time there, Harris was given the opportunity to take over as the head pastor when Mahaney stepped aside. As part of his preparation for that role, Harris studied the role of the local church. This book was the result of that study.