Gordon LivingstonBesprekingen

This is worth reading.

I enjoyed the book because some of the thoughts he had made me really think about my life and those around me.

Nice little book to read. Didn't agree with many things the author stated, but found practical wisdom in several chapters.

Received this book as part of an "inherited library." A friend of a friend moved away, left the friend their books, and this was one of the books my friend didn't want, so he offered it and others to me. Since I'll read anything, and I have a Little Free Library to keep stocked, I took whatever he offered.

I enjoy these short-essay style bits of wisdom. In the same vein as Don't Sweat the Small Stuff, Livingston gives some quality bits of life advice. In some instances, his words helped me clarify some things I personally believed and was relieved to hear from another source.

This is definitely one I'll go back to when I need a little help working things out.

Using the same short-essay approach that made Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart such a interesting and insightful read, And Never Stop Dancing collects 30 observations about how we live and relate to one another, distilling the wisdom of Dr. Livingston's experiences as a psychiatrist and a student of the human condition.

I am not usually a fan of self-help books. What makes this one stand out is its clear-eyed outlook and direct, unadorned style. Livingston does not hold to simple remedies to complex problems, but he does simplify our understanding of the forces at work within us all. If you're looking for the kind of inspiring, feel-good anecdotes that have sold millions of Chicken Soup for the Soul books, then go back to that series and its imitators. Livingston frankly admits that life is not easy, and his solution for our difficulties is not simply to "have faith." Nor does he follow the trends of the psychiatric profession in general and prescribe medication for every ill. Rather, he encourages us to engage with the problems that are at the root of our symptoms of loneliness, depression, and dissatisfaction. This is a less popular approach than the alternatives he avoids, but that is in part why his advice seems so full of wisdom. The more arduous path in these cases is the one more likely to have a real and lasting effect.

I am a reader of the "This I believe" genre, and so I undertook reading Gordon Livingston's 30 pearls of wisdom. Early on I found myself enjoying his unique perspective as a Vietnam vet and dissenter, psychiatrist, and parent who suffered the loss of two children, one by suicide and one who succumbed to leukemia. Later as the author wound his way through life's events offering up his beliefs on each, his wise-pater tone gave way to a grand-paternal ranting tone. Looking back at the cover, I recognized the ranting tone is present in the title. I disliked this tone and felt it makes the conveying of wisdom less effective. Nevertheless, there is plenty of thought provoking wisdom here and a healthy rant can provide grating emphasis.

Elizabeth Edwards's forward to this collection of short essays summed up how I felt about it perfectly:

"Gordon and I come from different worlds, and on many things we have different perspectives. Even when we disagree, as we do on some things--even matters covered in these essays--I appreciate that he has expressed so cogently his argument without the rancor and incivility that has come to mark so much of contemporary dialogue."

This book is a gentle admonition to be loving, courageous, patient, and forgiving. He writes with the wisdom that heartbreak brings (his two sons died within 13 months of one another, one from suicide, the other from cancer), and his grief lends him authority when he writes that full lives can be lived in the face of heartbreak and immense disappointment.

What can I say but "Amen"

Reading Dec 08

The author really tells it like it is. This is a book that bears rereading.

1. If the map doesnt agree with the ground, the map is wrong
2. We are what we do
3. It is difficult to remove by logic an idea not placed there by logic in the first place
4. The statue of limitations has expired on most of our childhood traumas
5. Any relationship is under the control of the person who cares the least
6. Feelings follow behaviour
7. Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid
8. The perfect is the enemy of the good
9. Life's two most important questions are "Why?" and "Why not?" The trick is knowing which one to ask
10. Our greatest strengths are our greatest weaknesses
11. The most secure prisons are those we construct for ourselves
12. The problems of the elderly are frequently serious but seldom interesting
13. Happiness is the ultimate risk
14. True love is the apple of Eden
15. Only bad things happen quickly
16. Not all who wander are lost
17. Unrequited love is painful but not romantic
18. There is nothing more pointless, or common, than doing the same things and expecting different results
19. We flee from the truth in vain
20. It's a poor idea to lie to oneself
21. We are all prone to the myth of the perfect stranger
22. Love is never lost, not even in death
23. Nobdy likes to be told what to do
24. The major advantage of illness is that it provides relief from responsibility
25. We are afraid of the wrong things
26. Parents have a limited ability to shape children's behaviour, except for the worse
27. The only real paradises are those we have lost
28. Of all the forms of courage, the ability to laugh is the most profoundly therapeutic
29. Mental health requires freedom of choice
30. Forgiveness is a form of letting go, but they are not the same thing.

Kärva sanningar om livet, trettio snningar gör en om dagen, rätt lagom eftersom "sanningarna" tål att tänkas över och visst stämmer mycket. Grejen är väl att införliva "sanningen" i det dagliga livet...½