Sarah MacLaughlin

In her slim volume, Raising Humans with Heart: Not a How - To Manual, Sarah MacLaughlin (not THAT Sarah, Canadian fans of soft rock!) immediately presents all of the possible bias and the "lens" through which she writes. I appreciate not having to search for this as I read. Politically progressive ideas permeate the text (e.g. she recognizes the dynamics of sexism that can play out traditionally in narratives of caregivers; she can't value the power of relationship enough, she recognizes the importance of self-regulation which is something children learn and are not naturally gifted with) Tips about other resources are placed in helpfully highlighted boxes, just in case she has tapped an idea you want to learn more about. I adore the fact that she has found resonate, interesting and diverse quotes to start each chapter. In less than 100 pages, MacLaughlin gently explains the new 'parenting paradigm' with empathy, encouragement and wisdom. I would say, 'Highly recommended' (I too received a review copy of this book, in exchange for my honest review).… (meer)

This is a short but useful parenting book - for anyone who would like to do more in-depth reading about any of the topics covered, Sarah MacLaughlin has included plenty of other titles to take a look at.
The book primarily looks at parenting from the perspective of a mother raising boys but I don't doubt it will be of use to other parents too - as a father raising a boy, I felt able to use all of the information included in the book.
There are lots of points included in the book that really made me stop and think about some of the parenting choices I make - many of these are just a duplication of things my parents did and I realise they are quite often not ideal! The book has helped me reflect on this and will hopefully help me nurture my son rather than trying to control him.
I received a review copy of this book, in exchange for my honest review.… (meer)

I received this book as an early reviewer's edition.  I was looking forward to its insights in anticipation of the arrival of our first grandchild. MacLaughlin is certainly an authority on the subject of childrearing.  She touches on a number of parenting issues with examples on positive modeling.  She maintains that we teach more by what we do than by what we say.  She promotes patience, compassion, and understanding, while acknowledging that being a parent can bring us to the brink of our limits as a person.  I found her techniques to be practical and felt that they would be easy to implement.   My favorite part of the book is at the very end.  She shares the Cherokee legend of the two wolves in which a grandfather teaches his grandson about the difference between good and bad. "There is a good wolf and bad wolf living inside each of us.  The good wolf is love, compassion, courage, generosity, and every virtue of a human.  The bad wolf is anger, hatred, laziness, greed, and other human vices. In each one of us, these two wolves are engaged in a fierce battle." The one who ultimately wins is the one you feed.
… (meer)

Sarah MacLaughlin has written a self-nurturing, readable narrative about parenting with authority, not punitively, but with love. Her perspective is valid: one must have self-care so that as a parent, you are well and thus, can effectively care for your children. Although the author claims this is not a how-to manual, there are anecdotes throughout to show what does/doesn't work in raising self-confident, contented children. These are useful insights, drawn largely from her years of being a nanny and training as a family psychologist.

Amongst the information presented in this small book is an informative scientific background on how kids' brains are wired and how that changes as they approach adulthood. Brains are still developing rational thinking (pre-frontal cortex explained) when the young adult is in their early 20's! Who knew?? MacLaughlin also has a very readable section on adult nervous systems and how we, as parents, fall back on the limbic (or 'reptile' as she calls it) responses and why that is not a useful position for parenting effectively.

There is one large omission which needs calling out. In Chapter 6, watching for emotions is a key insight into behavioural competence. What MacLaughlin does not even hint at is managing the Highly Sensitive Person temperament that is innate in about 30% of the American population (read The Secret Lives of Introverts, Jenn Granneman to find out how important it is to recognize and nurture this characteristic in children).

Overall, there is much wisdom and positivity to be gained from following the suggestions in this book. It is an excellent companion to Susan Cain's Quiet and Elaine Aron's The Highly Sensitive Person. MacLaughlin's book has the advantage of being a quick read (91 pages) with subheadings to easily find some relevant ideas in the moment. (This was an Early-Reviewer's book award; my thoughts are candid and entirely my own opinion).… (meer)