Quanie Miller

This review was done under Bit'N Book Promoters . http://bitnbookpromoters.blogspot.co.uk/2013/11/bite-on-this-book-review-for-it-...

Okay, I loved this book. It was so fun to read!
If I could sum it up in three things it would have to be: hilarious, sassy and batshit crazy. I mean those three (well four words) encompass about half the characters in this book.


There's the prim, God-fearing aunt who clutches her pearl necklace and sprays random folk with holy water if she catches them doing something 'sinful' and who accidentally downloaded a virus on Jazzy's computer so whenever she opens it a naked man dressed in a Santa Claus outfit wiggles his penis at her. There's the sly grandma who robs everyone of their valuables in card games. There's the other aunt with the bad dress sense and her husband who colour co-ordinates with her mad attire. There's the psycho cousin who has an unhealthy obsession with leopard print and making Jazzy's life a living hell. There's Jazzy's mother who has an odd hobby of spying on her neighbours including the mute fella across the street who's a bit OCD with his leafblower. She also spies on the lady neighbour who wants to poison everyone with her awful cabbage soup, who is also suspected of stealing food coupons and competes with Jazzy's mother for the OCD leafblower. After that we have a black, Mary Poppins for a sister, a best friend with a shopping addiction and very bad taste in men, a little demon nephew who likes to kick men in the family jewels with his new karate moves and a dog who is so fat and spoiled rotten that he demands to have his paws massaged on tap. And that is the mad family that is Jazzy's. Add her ex-boyfriend who happens to get with her sworn enemy: the leopard print wearing cousin, Mercedes, and you know you've got a book that's going to entertain with cringe-worthy moments, gigglefests and 'OMFG what just happened' scenes.

It's absolutely brilliant. Jazzy has the above mentioned crazy family, then a shady job where she doesn't know what the hell is going on, why they have this ridiculous need to hide those damned yellow post-it notes and guard those badboys with boxing gloves that spring out of the desk drawers and nearly take your eye out. And for the love of god, why does she need to keep winding that broken, old clock?!

Plot

The flow of the plot is smooth and an enjoyable ride. You never feel like 'Oh god, move along already' even though not a lot always happens. When I say that, I mean there's not a lot of hard action, but you get so much entertainment from all the crazy crap going on in the family and with her friends and work you don't even notice you're basically following a woman about her day. A very wild, slightly odd but funny woman.

Characters

I have nothing bad at all to say about the characters. They're colourful, vibrant individuals with sass, attitude, their own quirks and faults and you recognize them instantly. Someone like me who can be bad with names found all the characters easy to follow and remember.

I enjoyed the style of writing, the way it moved on from one situation to the next easily. I liked the randomness in it. All the weird stuff the characters got up to. The one-liners, the humour and sharp tongue of the author's writing is right up my street and I knew when I saw the colourful cover, the intriguing title and the author's picture (who is this very friendly, smiley and cheeky looking woman) I knew I was in for a treat.

As for Jazzy, she was such an awesome character to be in the mind off. I had moments where I had to do a double take and stare at the page thinking 'Did she just do that??' and then gasp when I realized that 'holy crap, she just did that'. Or said that. It was wonderful and shocking and embarrassing and emotional to be in her shoes. I loved every moment of it. She had her faults and her good qualities and I liked her for all of them, because she learned from her mistakes. Part of her character building was down to her lovely love interest, Reggie. He was so gorgeous and intelligent and not crazy like all the others. I instantly liked him. And when I pictured him in my mind, I thought of this guy:



You may recognize him from The Vampire Diaries. Yum.


Favourite Quotes

Because of just how many times I laughed out loud at this book (and there were some major fits of giggles where I had to actually stop reading to compose myself) I might end up going overkill on the favourite quotes. I highlighted a lot and I mean A LOT of quotes from the book. So I've had to narrow down from at least FIFTY quotes.

'”He hasn't had a nap yet.” As if that explained it. The truth was that the little fucker was just bad.' -Jazzy talking about her little nephew the demon karate kid.

'Aunt Cleotha looked at G like he had just climbed out a sewer and asked her for a kiss.'

'I've been told on several occasions that when I sing, I sound like a dog being thrown over a balcony.'

'He rubbed his hands together like he couldn't wait to pour some gravy on me and sop me up with a biscuit.'

'Serai stood there tapping her foot and turning a color I couldn't quite identify.'

'Shouldn't you be somewhere, sleeping upside down in a cave or something?' -Jazzy speaking to Mercedes.

'When I got to CVS and started looking at Hallmark Cards, I was disappointed not to find any that read “Enjoy my sloppy seconds, you trifling wench.” So I settled for one that read, “Congratulations on your engagement.”'

'”Do you know how many compliments I've gotten on that purse?” -Serai
“Thanks to that purse I'm sure there is a cat somewhere with a bald behind, shivering in the cold.”' -Jazzy

'If they only knew what real rain looked like. Back home, we don't even say 'it's raining' until it floods and the neighbourhood kids are swimming in the streets.'

'The last one asked me what I was wearing. I told him a bulletproof vest. He said, “Oooh. Kinky.” I hung up on his ass.'

'I wondered if Lynette could take this woman. Lynette was small, but I've seen her beat the shit out of a vending machine that gave her a Kit-Kat instead of the Snickers bar she wanted.'

'”I got hustled, man.” -Reggie
“I told you you didn't know what you were getting into.” -Jazzy
“But she's a sweet old lady!” -Reggie
“That's what all her victims say.”' -Jazzy. Talking about Grandma Dottie after she won most of his attire in a card game.

'Reggie whispered, “Is it just me, or is that dog calling her a liar?”
I looked at him, impressed, “Very good, Watson.”' -Tiny the dog barks whenever someone lies.

Aunt Cleotha and Jazzy:
'“I have a date.”
Aunt Cleotha did a double take. “You?”
“Why do you look so surprised?”
“Serai said it was like the Sahara down there.”'

'Men. A tornado could rip through the place, tear off the roof, and ten minutes later they'd look up and say, “Where'd the roof go?”'

Mercedes and Jazzy:
'“Were it not for Grandma Dottie, you would be watching my wedding from a live feed on the internet at that crumbling shack you call a home”
I said, “Were it not for Grandma Dottie, you would be surgically removing my foot from your ass.”'

'Serai let out a string of curse words that would make a sailor proud.'

'And then, like a steroid-laced bolt of lightning, it hit me. The reason the dread had crept into my belly and never left. The reason I couldn't stop crying and wanted to go to Reggie's job and scratch his eyes out. My heart had betrayed me. It had gone behind my back and without consulting me, fell in love with that asshole.'

Annie and Jazzy:
'“Jazzy, you seem upset.”
“Annie, if you get that God damn sock puppet I'm gonna get a pair of scissors and cut that bitch up.”
“You wouldn't.”
“Try me.”'


Phew. Now that was about HALF of what I saved. You can see why I love her humour. It's the kind of humour that gives you the giggles and you can't stop. Even when you read it again and again it's still just as funny.

There's really nothing bad to say about this book at all. I would read it again. More than twice. I would read several books about Jazzy and all her little endeavors. I want to read more! But alas, it's over. And on that note, I dub this book.... drum roll please...


5 out of 5 stars!
… (meer)

Welcome to Jazzy's world where drama and craziness are the norm ... it ain't easy being Jazzy!

It Ain't Easy Being Jazzy is a hilarious chick lit / romantic comedy that will keep you in stitches. Set in San Jose, California, author Quanie Miller weaves an entertaining tale written in the first person narrative that follows sassy Louisiana-bred Jasmine "Jazzy" Peacock as she tries to move forward in her life, only to have to deal with crazy family situations, and a drama laden love triangle that involves her ex-boyfriend Curtis, rival cousin Mercedes, and Mercedes' ex-boyfriend Reggie.

The story is full of laugh-out-loud outrageous situations dealing with family, friendships and romance. With a quirky cast of characters: sassy and rebellious Jazzy, sister Annie, best friend Serai, nosy neighbors, and a host of crazy family members, the reader can't help but get drawn into this fun story. Jazzy uses her southern charm, quick wit and humor to take the reader along for the ride as she tries to find a balance in her life, only to have it interwoven with drama and humorous hijinks that border on the edge of craziness! Jazzy keeps it real, but dang she is one heck of a hot mess!

It Ain't Easy Being Jazzy is a thoroughly entertaining story that is the perfect escape from reality, the reader will discover that it really ain't easy being Jazzy!

Disclaimer: I received a copy of the book from the author in exchange for my honest review and participation in a virtual book tour event hosted by Chick Lit Plus Blog Tours.

http://jerseygirlbookreviews.blogspot.com/2013/11/it-aint-easy-being-jazzy-by-qu...… (meer)