Sue Miller (1)Besprekingen

Not my favorite Sue Miller but still a strong novel.

by the end of this i wasn't caring at all about these characters or their growth or their past or really any of it. sue miller's writing is so good but i'm finding that i'm maybe not so into what she's writing about or maybe the characters' lives she's interested in? i do like her writing and i like her exploration of themes in quiet books, but somehow they consistently don't hit for me.½

A story of people and their relationships. While some of them seemed a bit too reasonable at times, it was still an enjoyable view into the lives of others. Richard Russo reviewing this in the NYT makes sense, as he writes in a similar style.

I was surprised at how much I liked this book. Interesting and different.

I'm so sorry I have reached the end of this absolutely fascinating story about the intertwining of so many lives and so beautifully told my Miller. No WONDER it took her six years to produce....there is so much emotional depth in every page---I didn't want to miss a word. I was amazed that Miller was able to make me feel as though she could understand each and every character in the story and how their FELT about what was happening. Very impressive writing.

It took me a bit to decide that I liked this book. I almost never read the "Q & A with the author" at the back of the book, but in this case, I'm glad I did. I was happy to read that Miller had trouble warming up to her own protagonist, and it never occurred to me that it is actually an essential part of the book. It is also a frustration--not with the narrative, but because I think most of us can recognize the places in ourselves that we don't love. In some ways it is a tough book to read, but the slow "wisdom" that "creeps up" on the characters (as one reviewer put it), is perhaps more real than your typical fictional arc.

OGH.
DNF.

i really, really like sue miller's writing. i think this is the third of her books that i've read (while i was gone and the distinguished guest) and her writing is always just captivating. i found this really compelling, but i'm not sure that i actually liked what she was doing all that much, when i think about it. i am not sure why so many things in the first third were introduced; they really seem peripheral. i mean, the leo character wasn't even introduced until a third of the way in. i do think that 1986 was a different time, and i try to keep that in mind when thinking about what worked for me, and what didn't.

anyway, as a concept, this is really interesting, and she writes it well. what happens when you are pitted against your child or your lover, and you have to choose one? at the same time, i didn't really think her reaction, when she heard the issue, had enough doubt in it. she didn't ask to speak to molly so she could hear what she said happened, she didn't question her memories or herself, or really even leo.

definitely, though, a compelling story and concept, and her writing kept me very engaged throughout.

This was a character study, but of several different characters. Not plot-driven at all. I was surprisingly engaged with some of the characters, but at times I found it all a bit much. Maybe I needed something less philosophical and with more action right now.

Liked it, maybe especially because the location of much of it takes place near where I have lived and worked for decades. The story and characters are well presented, and the interior dialogs seem true. I can’t say why I didn’t “love” it, but I didn’t, but there was much to like and appreciate.

Good novel, nice characters, good pacing. But nothing super deep or dramatic or original. Glad to have read it, though.

Annie and Graham seem to have the perfect marriage. They enjoy each other’s company, have great sex and complement each other’s lifestyles. Graham is the ebullient and charismatic owner of the bookstore where they met, and she is a photographer. He interacts well with people, and she likes to observe them. It is Graham’s second marriage and Annie’s first. They have one child together, Sarah. He has one son from his first marriage, Lucas. Graham’s first marriage ended because of his infidelity. Like his size, his demands were often too large to be satisfied appropriately. He was a good father but not such a loyal, good husband. Still he has remained on good terms with Frieda, his ex, and the two families have blended so well together, that Annie and Frieda are great friends.
The novel examines several different kinds of loving relationships and child-rearing styles. Whatever touches the human condition, like aspirations, hopes and dreams, sibling rivalry, infidelity, sexuality, secrets, creativity, rebellion, fear, and even subtle allusions to some political beliefs, as certain names are sprinkled throughout the book, like Obama, McCain, and Palin, are all worked together, to produce an insightful novel about the lives and lifestyles of “everyman” and ”everywoman”, if I may be so bold as to refer to gender. The novel explores these relationships in great detail, from their birth to their end, through natural and unnatural progressions. In some cases divorce rears its head, in some cases illness creates chaos, and in some cases, alternate life styles interfere with what was once a happy family. Often, our perceptions of what is, have nothing to do with reality and we make judgments based on false assumptions or emotions rather than intellect. The novel explores the disappointments, secrets, betrayals, and grief that a marriage could be wont to, that some couples are bound to encounter or experience over their decades of marriage, as well as their joys and celebrations.
On the whole, while the novel is engaging, it is not uplifting. As it explores the complications that come with aging, as we visit our memories and our memory loss, as our friendships new and old dissolve, our misunderstandings and our petty differences enrage, as we conduct business and experience pleasure together and alone, the passage of time, with all the encumbrances it brings to our changing relationships as loved ones are lost to us, is well illustrated and often sadly defined. I wondered, at the end, do most of us feel like outsiders, at one time or another? Do we all have to work out how to feel included and comfortable with ourselves, alone, and not always with a partner, regardless of the circumstances? Do some people simply possess that skill of fitting in, while some of us simply always feel we do not?
The author reads her own novel well, which is not always the case, but the narrative frequently gets bogged down as the reader/listener is suddenly shocked with referrals to the sex act or parts of the human body that are unnecessarily crude, or to other natural events with inappropriate references. Why use the expression dog “piss”, when a more polite form of expression is available, or “shitty” diapers when you could say soiled? Such use of language was unexpected and distracting as it took “realistic” a bit too far and was not representative of the work of this fine author.

It's so strange to read a book about middle age: totally different than reading books about people one or two steps ahead of you when younger. And now, mid-30s and with a kid and a monogamish relationship, I'm beyond the age and grown out of the concerns of the protagonists of so many of my favorite novels. So, middle age?

I liked this book -- deep and richly textured with a complex cast of characters -- but I instinctively can only give it 4 stars. Why? Especially since I find absolutely nothing wrong with it. A puzzlement.

Contemplative and tender - reminded me of the kindness Stewart O'Nan exhibits toward his characters. How have I not read Sue Miller before? Eager to explore her backlist.

I generally like Sue Miller's books, but this one was harder to get through. In the beginning I got sick of all the sex talk. Later I appreciated the intricate character descriptions and the psychological content. Sometimes it was a long winded and whiny. I give it three start because most of the time I enjoyed reading it.

The style is a little too introspective for my tastes, but Miller does provide a thoughtful examination of various aspects of love.½

Interesting, engaging characters. The story is original and I enjoyed it uniqueness.

descriptions of nothing

Graham and Annie have been married for 30 years and to all appearances have the perfect marriage. But as any married person can tell you, appearances are not always what they seem. Sue Miller explores the ups and downs of this marriage, exposing all of its cracks, but also its strengths and joys.

This is an introspective study of the marriage of Graham and Annie. Graham dies unexpectedly, and as Annie moves through the grieving process, she discovers some surprising things that she has a hard time handling. The same thing happened to me after I lost my husband very suddenly, so I could relate to this story. However, it may not appeal to many readers.

This is a character driven exploration of the marriage between Annie and Graham (Hmm...is that a pun for anagram?) and the extended family that surrounds their marriage. Early in the story, Graham is troubled by an inexplicable infidelity that arose out of an insensitive joke. Annie is not aware of this, but Graham has confided in his ex-wife, Freida, and his long time friend, John. After breaking of his extramarital relationship, Graham dies in his sleep.

The rest of the novel explores Annie's grief, her relationship with her daughter, Sarah, and stepson, Lucas, and her long term friendship with Grahams ex, Freida. Graham's outsized personality overshadowed all of those relationships and Annie must navigate them in her new reality.

At the house party after Graham's memorial service, Annie becomes aware of the infidelity based on the grieving behavior of the other woman. At this point she begins to question everything about her marriage. Her musings, and her relationships with Freida and the adult children, lead the reader to think through what it means to be monogamous and the various forms that infidelity can take within that relationship. Ultimately, Annie works through her grief and anger and establishes a life built on her own terms.

This book might not be for everyone, but I found it interesting to reflect upon as I read it and gave it 4 stars.

I almost did not pick this up. It's not my usual type of book to be drawn to. But, I did, here I am, and I guess it all turned outThis is a very reflective book - a deep character study of two people in a second marriage and those in their orbit. It is an examination of their marriage relationship - a dissection of their marriage really - both through their own eyes (told in alternating perspectives), as well as others in their circle. I didn't particularly like or connect with either member of the couple, but I thought the author did an excellent job of laying these people bare and exploring their emotions, motivations, and values. They felt like people that could be out there in the real world and not just page-people.

This view of a marriage is very different from how I think about and approach mine, but IMO the point of is to get window into lives, places, setting, and situations very different from ours. Not a breezy, feel-good read, but it did do that.½

I was inteeested in the female voice first chapter. Started losing it in the second with the male. Dnf

I found this to be very depressing and a very slow read. I gave up early in the book, though other reviewers have said that it gets better later. I didn't have the patience, and found it to be a self-indulgent bit of navel gazing.