Murray Oxman

This like book turned out to be a pleasant little surprise. Normally I would not have picked up a book like this because the title advertises itself as a potential tool to manipulate people, but as a teacher, I thought maybe it would help me understand where some of my students are coming from.

On one level, the book does exactly what it advertises by describing and cataloging behaviors observed in others.

On another level, the book teaches you to recognize when others are trying to manipulate you.

On a much deeper level, the true beauty of this book lies in the fact that it holds up a mirror to see ourselves. It collects a vocabulary to label traits we observe in others, and in turn, we recognize them in ourselves. In discovering how others attempt to manipulate others, we discover how we try to manipulate others, often unconsciously to protect our own hidden needs and fears.

In the end, this little book provides a few tools to help dig through the many layers of tarnish the false self builds up so that we may risk being our true self.… (meer)