Bruce D. PerryBesprekingen

One of my top 50 books of all time. I recommend it if you want to gain more insight into child trauma and why parents do what they do to themselves and their children. It’s not all about the bad, either! There is hope for everyone suffering from mental health issues as long as we can learn the whys.

Just read it.

This recorded book joins my growing list of titles dealing with trauma, and in particular childhood trauma. Dr. Perry's pioneering work as a psychiatrist serving children—those who lived through the horrors of Waco, Texas, a little girl who witnessed the murder of her mother, the title story, and a variety of others—left me hopeful for this field of care and thankful for those who pursue it with such compassion and diligence.

Learning the basics of the brain's developmental stages and how trauma impacts these is one of my take-aways. Perry also emphasizes the healing found in accessible practices such as predictable patterned routine, patience, and value in the number and quality of relationships a child establishes.

I found the reader's voice slightly distracting with occasional problematic pronunciation, but the overall content made it worthwhile listening.

I've read this twice, years apart, in two different editions. As part of an undergrad psych course I read the original book, and more recently for a graduate counseling course I read the new, expanded edition. I've also had the opportunitiy to hear Dr. Perry lecture in person and talk to him a bit. Both editions are excellent, with the more recent one literally just containing updates to the individual cases to account for the large span of time between editions, so pick up the new one.
Dr. Perry is one of the greatest living therapists/psychiatrists working with highly traumatized children. For those familiar with his work overall, a lot of the discourse here is going to be familiar to the point of repetitiveness, but if you're just getting into the field there's a really low barrier to entry here as its written to be accessible to a lay audience. Think of it as something between anecdotal stories and case studies involving the application of his theories and techniques across his career.
While written to be accessible to the lay person, this is really looking at highly traumatized individuals mostly from backgrounds of unbelievable abuse. Unless you or a loved one is struggling with a traumatic background, or you work with those who have/work in education or human services, it feels a little exploitive/distasteful to read this just for 'fun'. Though I can definitely see some material here for those interested in or working in fields related to True Crime or cults, as there are stories involving children from groups such as the Branch Dividians. Similarly, those who may have had a very violent/traumatic childhood may want to just assume the whole book has a big trigger warning label on it.

This fascinating book produced many “lightbulb moments” for me. Some reviewers have stated that “What Happened to You” contained very few new ideas. I’ve read quite a few self-help books over the decades. Perry and Winfrey covered a lot of territory I had yet to explore. What’s more, they explained complex issues involving brain science in an understandable and interesting way, vividly demonstrating how stress and trauma change us. Oprah boldly shares her personal struggles. I never realized that the first couple months of our lives have a disproportionate impact on our emotional well-being for the rest of our lives. Infants with high stress or trauma in their first two months typically will experience more problems than others who had very little stress in their infancy but endured years of stress later in childhood. I do wish the book had spent a bit more time examining the impacts of stress and trauma on teens and even adults. But I highly recommend this book for anyone who is interested in PTSD, brain science or psychology.

the audiobook version is EVERYTHING! it felt like listening to a podcast. Oprah and Dr. Perry were basically just having a long conversation that was easy to follow and understand. i loved how Dr. Perry presented his real case studies alongside the science of trauma and healing. i would listen to a podcast with Oprah and Dr. Perry.. but i guess that was the Oprah show... not everything needs to be a podcast...... anyways i just really loved the conversational style of this audiobook *chef's kiss* this book was eye-opening. i never would have thought to ask "what happened to you/ me rather than what's wrong with you/me". i learned lots about feelings, PTSD, vibration of love, etc. very well written, well researched, Dr. Perry knows. his. stuff.!

9 stars: Super, couldn't put it down

From the back cover: Have you ever wondered "Why did I do that?" or "Why can't I just control my behavior?" Others may judge our reactions and think, "What's wrong with that person?" When questioning our emotions, it's easy to place the blame on ourselves; holding ourselves and those around us to an impossible standard. It's time we started asking a different question.

Through deeply personal conversations, Oprah Winfrey and renowned brain and trauma expert Dr. Bruce Perry offer a groundbreaking and profound shift from asking “What’s wrong with you?” to “What happened to you?”

Here, Winfrey shares stories from her own past, understanding through experience the vulnerability that comes from facing trauma and adversity at a young age. In conversation throughout the audiobook, she and Dr. Perry focus on understanding people, behavior, and ourselves. It’s a subtle but profound shift in our approach to trauma, and it’s one that allows us to understand our pasts in order to clear a path to our future - opening the door to resilience and healing in a proven, powerful way.

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Written in conversational format, Oprah talks to Dr. Perry, a world expert on childhood trauma, about how to overcome the effects of trauma. They challenge us to shift our focus from "What's wrong with you?" or "Why are you Behaving This way?" to "What happened to you?" It allows us to understand our past so that we may build a resilient and healing future.

Quotes:

The pillars of traditional healing were 1) connection to the clan and the natural world, 2) regulating rhythm through dance, drumming, and song, 3) a set of beliefs, values, and stories that brought meaning to even senseless random trauma, and 4) on occasion, natural hallucinogens or other plant derived substances used to facilitate healing with the guidance of a healer or an elder. It is not surprising that today's best practices in trauma treatment are basically versions of these 4 things...but the medical model overfocuses on psychopharmacology and cognitive behavioral therapy. It greatly undervalues the power of connectedness and rhythm.

Most people who experience adversity and trauma do not have access to therapy. BUt what we are learning is that having access to a number of invested, caring people is actually better than having access to a number of invested, caring people is actually a better predictor or good outcomes following trauma than having access to a therapist... This isn't to suggest that therapy isn't helpful, but therapy without "connectedness" is not very often effective.½

What Happened to You: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing is a book about trauma and how traumatic experiences affect people throughout life. Oprah is no stranger to trauma. Complete with experiences from Oprah’s own life and Dr. Perry’s knowledge in brain science to explain the resulting behavior, this can be a perspective-changing work. It is a way of helping people understand as well as overcome the effect of trauma—how it affects our brain and greatly influences who we become and shapes our behavior. The book is an insightful guide and provides advice on healing from trauma which is helpful and pleasant after reading and trying to understand trauma. It helps one understand that if we did so much as replace “What’s wrong with you?” with “What happened to you?”, we would do a much better job at understanding ourselves and one another.

I don't know why I picked this up. I was having problems with my parent family and thought maybe this could help. It didn't relate to my situation but I thought it was fascinating. How does trauma carry through your life? How does our brain handle early childhood trauma or neglect or indifference. What if you were never hugged or held? How do we humans process trauma? What is biologically occurring in our brain? I highly recommend. It gets rather wordy and repetitive but still worth the read.

An inside look at the power of empathy: Born for Love is an unprecedented exploration of how and why the brain learns to bond with others and a stirring call to protect our children from new threats to their capacity to love. Selected Reading Questionnaire.

Opmerking van de auteur 7
Voorwoord bij deze editie 9
Inleiding 14
1 Tina’s wereld 19
2 Voor je eigen bestwil 40
3 Trapje naar de hemel 63
4 Huidhonger 84
5 Het kilste hart 100
6 De jongen die opgroeide als hond 122
7 Satanische paniek 148
8 De Raaf 169
9 ‘Mama liegt. Mama doet me pijn. 190
Bel alsjeblieft de politie.’
10 De goedheid van kinderen 200
11 Genezende gemeenschappen 214
12 Een beeld, geen label 228
Appendix 240
Opmerkingen per hoofdstuk bij deze editie 248
Studiegids en opmerkingen voor groepsleiders 281
Opmerkingen voor groepsleiders om te bespreken 291
Dankbetuiging 309
Noten 313
Index 321

Kinderpsychiater Bruce Perry helpt dagelijks getraumatiseerde kinderen. Bevlogen en met compassie vertelt hij over kinderen zoals Laura, een vierjarig meisje met een groeiachterstand, dat meer baat had bij een grote dosis liefde dan bij speciale diëten; Connor, die als baby lange tijd aan een stuk alleen werd gelaten en die opbloeide door massage en muziektherapie, en Justin, de zesjarige jongen die opgroeide als hond, en die zijn taal- en ontwikkelingsachterstand verbazingwekkend snel inhaalde toen zijn hersenen op de juiste manier gestimuleerd werden.

Door zijn baanbrekende werk op het snijvlak van neurowetenschap en psychologie kan Bruce Perry als geen ander inzicht geven in wat er precies gebeurt in de hersenen als een kind al vroeg in het leven wordt blootgesteld aan traumatische ervaringen en welke, soms verrassende, methoden gebruikt kunnen worden om het kind te helpen opgroeien tot een volwassene die sterk in het leven staat. Een fascinerend boek, niet alleen voor mensen die werken met getraumatiseerde kinderen maar ook voor pleeg- en adoptieouders.

Deze geactualiseerde editie bevat een nieuw voorwoord, een extra hoofdstuk, uitgebreide commentaren per hoofdstuk en een studiegids met vragen en antwoorden voor groepsdiscussies.

Bruce Perry is kinderpsychiater en grondlegger van de ChildTrauma Academy in Houston, Texas. Ook adviseert hij de FBI. Maia Szalavitz is wetenschapsjournaliste en won verscheidene prijzen met haar journalistieke werk.

Eerste druk, augustus 2007
Tweede druk, mei 2009
Derde druk, juli 2010
Vierde druk, maart 2011
Vijfde druk, december 2013
Zesde druk, maart 2014
Zevende druk, april 2015
Achtste gewijzigde druk, september 2016
Negende druk, november 2017
Tiende druk, januari 2019
Elfde geheel herziene druk, februari 2020
Twaalfde druk, februari 2022

Tina's world --
For your own good --
Stairway to heaven --
Skin hunger --
The coldest heart --
The boy who was raised as a dog --
Satanic panic --
The raven --
"Mom is lying. Mom is hurting me. Please call the police" --
The kindness of children --
Healing communities --
A picture, not a label.
source> http://www.worldcat.org/oclc/1003268661


https://www.scriptum.nl/boeken/jongen-opgroeide-als-hond-geactualiseerde-editie/ uitgever
https://www.scriptum.nl/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/Dejongendieopgroeide_inkijk.p... preview (1-18 pp.)


ISBD's
https://lccn.loc.gov/2006034440 first edition 2006 [2007 0107]
https://lccn.loc.gov/2017470837 second trade edition 2017
[
https://catalog.loc.gov/vwebv/search?searchArg=The Boy Who Was Raised As a Dog: And Other Stories from a Child Psychiatrist's Notebook: What Traumatized Children Can Teach Us About Loss, Love and Healing&searchCode=GKEY^*&searchType=0&recCount=25 loc
]


https://opc-kb.oclc.org/DB=1/XMLPRS=Y/PPN?PPN=407142428 KB

I found this very helpful in understanding people going through tough times.

Child psychiatrist Perry educates readers about how early-life stress and violence affects the developing brain. He offers simple yet vivid illustrations of the stress response and the brain's mechanisms with facts and images that crystallize in the mind without being too detailed or confusing. The stories exhibit compassion, understanding and hope as Perry paints detailed, humane pictures of patients who have experienced violence, sexual abuse or neglect, and Perry invites the reader on his own journey to understanding how the developing child's brain works. Selected Reading Questionnaire.

A great book for u dears tan ding trauma. The conversation format makes it easy read and even better as an audio book. A great book for understanding the impact of childhood experiences on the developing brain.½

Intriguing dive into traumatic childhood. Posits that human development requires extensive touch, modeling, and acceptance, yet our societies police touch, encourage individual action, and apply punishment. Child DXs like ADD, addiction, self harm are rooted in trauma. Wished author connected car real

This is not a review, these are the things I highlighted. This is a handy place to keep them.


"I felt guilty watching them from my warm car. I thought I should give them a ride. But the field of psychiatry is very attentive to boundaries. There are supposed to be unbreachable walls between patient and doctor, strict borderlines that clearly define the relationship in lives that often otherwise lack such structure. The rule usually made sense to me, but like many therapeutic notions that had been developed in work with neurotic middle-class adults, it didn’t seem to fit here." [he was sitting in his car watching a child client and their mother waiting in the freezing cold and snow for a bus, trying to decide if it would be ok to give them a lift]


"About 27 percent of women and 16 percent of men report as adults having been sexually victimized during childhood."

“I made the mistake of mentioning this to Dr. Stine during an update on the case. He raised his eyebrows and stared at me. He seemed disappointed.
“What do you think is going on here?”
“I’m not sure. I think the mom seems pretty overwhelmed.”
“You must interpret the resistance.
The mother left these children in harm’s way. She may be resentful that this child is getting your attention. She may want her to remain damaged,” he said.
“Oh,” I responded, not sure what to think. I knew that analysts often interpreted lateness to therapy as a sign of “resistance” to change, but that was beginning to seem absurd, especially in this case. The idea left no room for genuine happenstance and seemed to go out of its way to blame people like Tina’s mom, who, as far as I could tell, did everything possible to get help for Tina. It was clearly difficult for her to get to the clinic. To get to the medical center, she had to take three different buses, which often ran late during the brutal Chicago winter; she had no childcare so she had to bring all her children; sometimes she had to borrow money for the bus fare. It seemed to me she was doing the best she could in an extremely difficult situation." [An example of Psychoanalysis being crappy and distorted]

"But as we discussed specifics of these various goals, it took some time before I was able to help her recognize that the future can be something you plan for, something you can predict and even change, rather than a series of unforeseen events that just happen to you."

"If the experience is familiar and known as safe, the brain’s stress system will not be activated. However, if the incoming information is initially unfamiliar, new or strange, the brain instantly begins a stress response. How extensively these stress systems are activated is related to how threatening the situation appears. It’s important to understand that our default is set at suspicion, not acceptance. At a minimum, when faced with a new and unknown pattern of activity, we become more alert. The brain’s goal at this point is to get more information, to examine the situation and determine just how dangerous it might be. Since humans have always been the deadliest animal encountered by other humans, we closely monitor nonverbal signals of human menace, such as tone of voice, facial expression and body language."

He said somewhere else something along the lines of "Kids are accepting by default and have to be taught prejudices" but now I can't find it


"As one family therapist famously put it, we tend to prefer the “certainty of misery to the misery of uncertainty.”" I looked it up and the net says it was Virginia Satir... Why did he not name her?



"Some of my work with Dr. U’Prichard involved two different strains of rats, which are animals of the same species that had some slight genetic differences. These rats looked and acted exactly the same in ordinary situations, but even the most moderate stress would cause one type to break down. Under calm conditions, these rats could learn mazes, but give them the tiniest stress, and they would unravel and forget everything. The other rats were unaffected. When we examined their brains, we found that early in the development of the stress-reactive rats, there was over-activity in their adrenaline and noradrenaline systems. This small change led to a great cascade of abnormalities in receptor number, sensitivity and function across many brain areas, and ultimately altered their ability to respond properly to stress for a lifetime." [This is one of the differences between a counsellor and a psychiatrist and a psychologist, psychiatrists and psychologists have occasion to say things like "when I studied rats" and "when I dissected the rat's brain". I'm not saying that's the only difference I'm just saying it's a difference.]


"Frequently, while at the lab, my thoughts would turn to Tina and the other children with whom I was working. I would force myself to work the problem: What do I know? What information is missing? Can I see any connections between what was known and what was not known? Was seeing me making any difference in the lives of these children? As I thought about my patients, I also considered their symptoms: Why these particular problems in this particular child? What could help change them? Could their behavior be explained by anything that I and other scientists in my field were learning about how the brain works? For example, could studying the neurobiology of attachment—the connection between parent and child—help solve problems between a mother and her son? Could Freudian ideas like transference—where a patient projects his feelings about his parents into other relationships, particularly the one he has with his therapist—be explained by examining the function of the brain?"

"Research increasingly links the risk of depression to the number of uncontrollable stressful events people experience during their childhood. Unsurprisingly, PTSD is frequently accompanied by depression."

"Like the hyper-arousal response, the dissociative response is graded and occurs on a continuum. Ordinary states like daydreaming and transitions between sleep and wakefulness are mild forms of dissociation. Hypnotic trance is another example. In extreme dissociative experiences, however, the person becomes completely focused inward and disconnected from reality. Brain regions that dominate thinking shift from planning action to concerning themselves with brute survival. There is a sense that time has slowed and what’s happening isn’t “real.” Breathing slows. Pain and even fear shut down. People often report feeling emotionless and numb, as though they are watching what’s happening to them affect a character in a movie." [collecting references pointing out the similarities between meditation, hypnosis, and dissociation]


"“I want to color some too.” I said without looking at her. I wanted to be as predictable as possible and let her know what I was going to do step by step. "

"Patterned, repetitive stimuli lead to tolerance, while chaotic, infrequent signals produce sensitization.
To restore its equilibrium, the brain tries to quiet our sensitized, trauma-related memories by pushing us to have repetitive, small “doses” of recall. It seeks to make a sensitized system develop tolerance. And, in many cases, this works. In the immediate aftermath of a distressing or traumatic event we have intrusive thoughts: we keep thinking about what happened, we dream about it, we find ourselves thinking about it when we don’t want to, we often tell and retell the event to trusted friends or loved ones. Children will reenact the events in play, drawings and their daily interactions. The more intense and overwhelming the experience, however, the harder it becomes to “desensitize” all of the trauma-related memories." [I remember a bit in the Mandarins where the narrator is doing therapy with a child and can't for love nor money get him to stop drawing pictures of his trauma and it's one of the few bits of the book that stuck with me because I couldn't figure out why she was trying to do that]

"The brain alterations that result from lingering terror, especially early in life, may cause an enduring shift to a more impulsive, more aggressive, less thoughtful and less compassionate way of responding to the world."

"In fact, the research on the most effective treatments to help child trauma victims might be accurately summed up this way: what works best is anything that increases the quality and number of relationships in the child’s life."

"There was no schedule to their daily life and no regularity to the people that they would see. One of the few things I knew for sure by then about traumatized children was that they need predictability, routine, a sense of control and stable relationships with supportive people."

"Virginia had grown up at a time when it was common for the child welfare system to move infants and toddlers to a new foster home every six months, the rationale was that this way they wouldn’t become too attached to any particular caregiver."

"As I began talking I tried to engage Mama and make her feel comfortable. I knew that people can “hear” and process information much more effectively if they feel calm. I wanted her to feel safe and respected. Thinking back now, I must have seemed very patronizing to her. I was too confident; I thought I knew what was going on with her foster child and the implicit message was, “I understand this child, and you don’t.” She looked at me defiantly, her face unsmiling, her arms folded. I went into long-winded and very likely unintelligible explanation of the biology of the stress response and how it could account for the boy’s aggression and hyper-vigilance symptoms. I had not yet learned how to clearly explain the impact of trauma on a child."

"Like Leon and others who have suffered early neglect, Connor couldn’t stand to be touched. At birth human touch is a novel and, initially, stressful stimulus. Loving touch has yet to be connected to pleasure. It is in the arms of a present, loving caregiver that the hours upon hours of touch become familiar and associated with safety and comfort. It seems that when a baby’s need for this nurturing touch isn’t satisfied, the connection between human contact and pleasure isn’t made and being touched can become actively unpleasant. In order to overcome this and help provide the missing stimuli, we referred Connor to a massage therapist. We would focus first on meeting his needs for skin-to-skin contact; then, we hoped, we could further address his asynchronous bodily rhythms."

A new way of understanding and organizing the answers to the old question, "Tell me about your childhood". The brain architecture hierarchy like all genius is obvious in hindsight. It a simple and easy model to remember and reference when events "deregulate" everyone in the room. There are a lot of threptic tools mentioned but not covered in detail. The importance of a healthy, supportive, and loving community are highlighted and underlined.

Very interesting and thought provoking. I really wanted to dive into these subjects and reactions.

Possibly one of the best "written" case study, ppsychology book on abused and neglected children for the general public. Presented clearly including technical, scientific information that if read slowly and deliberately will be digestable by those not in the mental health field. Sadly, the misconceptions and deficiencies in the "systm" still exist. Great read for school techers, parents, daycare workers, Sunday school teachers, camp counselors, big brothers/sisters, mentors, tutors, and those wanting to find out why the hell we are this way. Make sure you get the revised editon with review of the original chapters. A book!

I found this incredibly fascinating. The author discusses how mistreatment of children can produce effects lasting into adulthood; how this can sometimes be the root cause of various mental disorders; some of the neurological bases for the effects; how current societal trends increase the risk of such mistreatment; treatment methods his group has found effective, and common methods that can be counterproductive.

I had a professor who once said she would always gift this book to friend who had just had a baby, which at the time I thought was a bit odd. Now, however, I completely agree and have even done the same thing. This is essential reading for everyone, but particularly anyone who is caring for a child.

The effects of abuse and neglect on children's brains. Well told. Good for folks who liked Torey Hayden and Mary MacCracken.

This was so interesting! It was so wonderful to read such amazing stories of recovery.

There were also a ton of observations about the brain and psychology that were really interesting - but totally understandable to me, who's only taken a few courses in it.

Very interesting and valuable for anyone with children in their lives. At times hard to read, but thankfully Perry doesn't dwell on the traumas, only on the process of recovery. Perry also seems to be a great human being - and this book is written well, too.

This book is about children who are faced with a lot of traumatizing things. It is focused on loss, love and healing as it states in the title. I would use this in a class of higher level about 8th grade because it could affect these children in a negative way. This book educates readers about how early-life stress and violence affects the developing brain. The stories exhibit compassion, understanding and hope as Perry paints detailed, humane pictures of patients who have experienced violence, sexual abuse or neglect.

An excellent book. Full of insights on why empathy is important in everyone's lives; why some people have it...and some people don't. A must read for anyone intending to have, or already have, young children. Lots of insights into how to not mess up your child's mind and capability for empathy.