Stephanie Raffelock

Part memoir, part self-help, completely inspiring!

In Creatrix Rising, author Stephanie Raffelock introduces and discusses society’s, including women’s, beliefs about a woman’s place in the world once reaching menopause. Early women’s studies have classified a woman’s life into three ordered stages or archetypes: maiden, mother, and crone. It seems that we as a society have an ingrained sense that a woman’s entire worth culminates during the mother phase, on one’s ability to produce children. Once that is no longer an option, a woman moves into the crone phase, one of less or no value.

As I’ve aged, and as my friends and family have also done so, I have heard that wistfulness in the tone of voice when we talked about entering menopause. It is a change to one’s identity, much like when one retires. (But as I liked to think when I retired, I’m just retiring from HERE (that job), I’m not retiring from life. Frankly, I’ve got stuff to do, places to go, and people to see.) But even before retiring from a job, menopause happens, and the insidious labeling of irrelevance can start to invade. Raffelock proposes we jettison the image of the crone as no longer relevant and replace it with the more accurate archetype of Creatrix: a woman who is comfortable and free to be true to herself and embrace the creativity she has within. The book fleshes out the nature of the Creatrix and how it manifests under current circumstances much better than I can.

The author narrates the audiobook edition of the book herself, and she is captivating. I can absolutely understand why she would be in demand as a speaker (which makes one of her life vignettes regarding her speaking to groups particularly poignant.) Raffelock puts her life on view for the reader, warts and all, describing her personal experiences and revelations on her way to where she is today. Like everyone, she made some mistakes in her life, and she is very candid about hers. This book is inspirational and illustrative rather than simply biographical, but I imagine her complete life story would make for fascinating reading. This book was absorbing, and found it difficult to pause my listening to the audiobook.

Each chapter concludes with a set of outstanding questions for personal reflection and journaling to assist the reader in recognizing the Creatrix in themselves and promote thoughtful consideration. Sometimes the questions were difficult for me to find a starting point to form a response to; others served as an open door. Many made me wish I was listening to the audiobook with friends and family because I wanted the discussion that was sure to follow after.

I will recommend CREATRIX RISING to those friends and family and women approaching this pivotal point in their physical life and psyche.… (meer)

*I was provided a review copy by the author via Lone Star Book Blog Tours. All opinions are my own.*

A Delightful Little Book on Aging lives entirely up to its name! It’s a delightful collection of essays in a tiny book (both in length and dimension), but it contains a massive amount of sense and insight for women on both sides of 60. (For the record, I am on THIS side of 60, thank you.)

The beauty of books like this is that you can digest it in nibbles or big bites. I devoured it in a gulp, but there were so many bits that really hit home that I know I will be returning to its now dog-eared pages time and again.

The book is broken into four sections: Grief, Reclamation, Vision, and Laughter. Why does it begin with grief? The author writes:

“Aging begins in grief. Loss and letting go become part of the landscape: youthful beauty, physical prowess, hot monkey sex, and the ability to eat whatever you want fade into memories.”

That brief introduction alone lets me know this isn’t your usual look at aging! The section on Reclamation acknowledges that as life takes away, it offers different gifts in return, and as we age we can reclaim parts of us that we pushed aside.

The lessons inside are delivered in the form of brief essays, stories that take place at all ages of her life but offer little insights. A story about attempting the monkey bars at the park (and subsequently falling on her ass) leads to a frank discussion about not slowing down but instead modifying and changing the ways we keep moving, along with practicing gratitude and mindfulness. Excellent reminders for the next time I tempted to try a cartwheel along with the teenagers, or jump on the trampoline, which I love to do (but my bladder does not.)

“Getting older presents a clear and simple choice: you can resent what life takes from you and miss what life is presenting, or you can let go of what is past and embrace the gifts from the harvest.”

For where I am in life, the section of reclamation spoke most strongly. The essay on deciding which things to let go/get rid of, and which to embrace, made me laugh out loud. An essay on saying “no” more often is one that, quite honestly, women of every age could use. One line that resounded:

The section on Vision also connected with me, particularly the essays on practicing gratitude (something I try to do, and something that has become as much of a struggle as a necessity right now) as well as one on how to shake off the “myth of insignificance”. Her list of “things she wants her nieces to know” is spot on. And her final section on Laughter both talks about and offers up a touch of its subject along with deeper insights.

Raffelock’s writing is both fluid and familiar. The book reads like a conversation you might have with her over a cup of coffee (or a bottle of wine). It’s a welcome reminder that age is just a number and that we aren’t limited to slowing down if that’s not what we want this next chapter of our life to look like.

I do have one TINY quibble about the book, however. For a book that discusses aging, and the changes that women face, the font size used was a bit smaller than I honestly was expecting. I was forced to pull out the dreaded readers, and the font size was still a bit smaller than I was comfortable with. I’m not sure how much this has to do with the fact that I probably need my reader prescription updated as well, but we had a good chuckle at the irony of it all.

That said, it was worth the effort (and the wearing of the dreaded readers) as the book offers up a lot of wisdom and ideas for reframing our thoughts on aging. I’m giving this book four-and-a-half stars.… (meer)

I am the right demographic for this slim, "delightful" book. At 56, I am headed downhill rather than uphill in life, but it doesn't mean that my life is any less significant or that I have less to offer the world. As a matter of fact, the wisdom that comes with aging is a positive in my life; as Stephanie Raffelock writes, "you gain things even as you lose youth."

Filled with pithy sayings, thought-provoking prose, and short autobiographical essays, A Delightful Little Book on Aging is quintessentially quotable and contains numerous ideas about "peering over the precipice of older age" and deciding to live life as fully engaged as one can.

The author contemplates aging through the lens of 4 areas: Grief, Reclamation, Vision, and Laughter, and the structure of the book follows these four sections in examining the aging process. It's hard not to quote the whole book, but here are a few thoughts that really resonated with me.

Grief: "...the threshold of loss is only the beginning of a remarkable journey. It is a journey that must be claimed for oneself, lest we get stuck in mourning what once was."

Reclamation: "Saying no doesn't mean I don't care about others; it means I'm a human being with limitations, and I'm willing to take care of myself in order to live a life of balance."

Vision: "The vision of the older years belongs to a wiser, deepened soul, steeped in wonder and delight for life."

Laughter: "Aging is a strange new journey, a time of humbling and a time to laugh, a time to be wise and a time to remember childlike wonder."

Reading this book caused me to frequently pause and ponder, relating the words to my own life of love and loss and longing. I'm left with a feeling of encouragement, and even anticipation, for what the future holds. I want to view the next part of my life the way the author does. She says, "I hold this season of life as a time when I am becoming everything that I was ever intended to be - more loving, lovable, creative, engaged, and joyful" and wanting to "live it to the very end, with feeling and gusto."

This book will be on a gift list for some of my friends and family. It will be a blessing to them.

Five Stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
… (meer)