Kieran SetiyaBesprekingen

Más tarde o más temprano surgen en nuestra vida una serie de interrogantes a los que no es fácil dar respuesta. ¿Cómo reconciliarnos con las vidas que no hemos podido vivir, con los caminos que no tomamos, con la nostalgia del pasado? ¿Cómo aceptar nuestros fracasos, la futilidad de las tareas que consumen nuestro presente o la propia mortalidad? La mayor parte de la gente empieza a plantearse estas cuestiones cuando más o menos ha llegado a la mitad de su vida, cuando la juventud está todavía cerca pero puede otear ya la muerte al final del trayecto.

En este brillante libro, a medio camino entre el ensayo filosófico y el libro de autoayuda, Kieran Setiya (profesor de filosofía en el MIT) afronta los retos de la vida adulta y la madurez y nos propone un paseo (de Aristóteles a Schopenhauer, de Virginia Woolf a Simone de Beauvoir) por distintas obras filosóficas y literarias que nos ayudan a entender qué es la crisis de la mediana edad y cómo podemos hacerle frente. Un libro que, en realidad, como dice su autor, «no es solo para quienes se encuentran en la mediana edad, sino para cualquiera que esté lidiando con la irreversibilidad del tiempo».

# Life Is Hard: How Philosophy Can Help Us Find Our Way

Life can be tough. Whether it's dealing with personal struggles or facing the challenges of the world around us, we all encounter difficult times. But philosophy can help us find our way and make sense of the world.

## Stoicism

One philosophy that can help us navigate life's challenges is stoicism. This ancient Greek philosophy teaches us to focus on what we can control and let go of what we can't. By accepting what we cannot change and focusing on our own actions and attitudes, we can find peace and contentment in even the toughest situations.

## Existentialism

Another philosophy that can help us find our way is existentialism. This philosophy emphasizes individual freedom and choice, and encourages us to find meaning and purpose in our own lives. By embracing our own unique experiences and perspectives, we can find fulfillment and purpose in a world that can often feel uncertain and chaotic.

## Buddhism

Buddhism is another philosophy that can help us navigate life's challenges. This ancient tradition teaches us to cultivate awareness and compassion, and to let go of our attachments and desires. By living in the present moment and accepting change as a natural part of life, we can find peace and contentment even in the face of difficulty.

## Epistemology

Finally, the philosophy of epistemology can help us find our way by encouraging us to question our assumptions and beliefs. By examining the foundations of our knowledge and understanding, we can gain a deeper sense of clarity and insight into the world around us. This can help us make more informed decisions and navigate life's challenges with greater wisdom and understanding.

In conclusion, philosophy can offer us valuable guidance and wisdom as we navigate the challenges of life. Whether we turn to stoicism, existentialism, Buddhism, or epistemology, we can find insights and perspectives that can help us make sense of the world and find our own way forward.

Felt a bit like a bait-and-switch. I was expecting a book with a focus on the hardships of life, perhaps with lessons about acceptance. But while the chapter titles lead us off with the various types of "hard" we're likely to encounter through life, the conversation quickly shifts to general philosophy and pop psychology. And little of that conversation was genuinely compelling or enlightening. I did bookmark this interesting tidbit, though - Setiya is quoting somebody else, a historian named Keith Thomas, on the topic of friendship in early modern England - "friends were valued because they were useful. One did not necessarily have to LIKE them." Ha! I never heard such an analysis; I guess it makes sense, if you think about how marriage used to be much more of a social contract based on utility rather than a way for fulfilling love matches. Maybe friendship was similar... not based on any bosom-buddy kind of feeling, but more of a mutual aid society.

I was solidly at the beginning of midlife just as the 2020 coronavirus pandemic blew up. The result was I couldn't tell where my so-called midlife crisis stopped and the global crisis began. My struggles were both private and internationally shared by many. I got to be overly dramatic and pretend my problems were bigger than me and during this particular moment in history it was true. It's quite funny actually, in a dark comedy kind of way.

This book, Midlife, brought the whole near-mythic notion of the midlife crisis down to earth for a refreshingly honest take. I'll start with what I heard a few years ago from my father-in-law, long before I ever heard of the book or its author. My father-in-law said, "It's not a crisis, it's a renaissance." I liked that summary. Without knowing what to expect exactly, and also aware that the experience is different for many, it seemed like it would be reasonably true for me.

My favorite takeaway from this book is that the 'crisis' part has been common throughout history and across genders, and it's caused by your mind coming to terms with all the life choices that are quickly slipping away and/or are closed forever. Simply put another way, and this made more sense to me, starting from birth you have many choices in life but only every choose one in any given moment, but many of those other choices linger because why shouldn't they? You have the rest of your left ahead of you...

...until you don't. Midlife is when the math of your finite existence shifts from you being in the first half to you realizing you're now in the second. Astronaut, NBA star, President... those dreams aren't happening and you know it. But it's not sports cars or affairs either, not for most people. I think my father-in-law was mostly right. It's a crisis... and then a renaissance. it's another journey on the road of life.½

To quote the title, life is hard, and Kieran Setiya tackles the subject of living philosophically with ferocious interrogations into the meaning of existence. He recommends a guide to human satisfaction: enjoy living well, as opposed to chasing ideal happiness or attaining perfection. Exploring universal questions through famous works of literature and personal imprints of being, Setiya examines how we can endure adversity by setting new expectations for our inner ambitions.

In analyzing the philosophical topics expounded upon in this book, I was dissatisfied with the results. Setiya seems to be advocating for settling, going quietly about our lives without dreaming, without wanting something better than a life considered to be good enough. He asks that we be satisfied with decency, as opposed to striving for happiness or perfection. While attempting to work through these conundrums, he cites the work of philosophers and writers such as Aristotle, Virginia Woolf, and Fyodor Dostoevsky. He argues with all of them, and does not budge on his own opinions of their work, stating them as fact. He consistently uses generalization, and offers a bleak vision of the world that is crowded with adversity and absurdity. The most difficult part of the book is the language, which often contradicts itself, and is not accessibly written for the average reader. Setiya is at his most eloquent when meditating upon grief, but fails to truly capture the heart of human consciousness as a whole. Instead of accepting our lot as he suggests, we must allow ourselves to dream of a better future.

If the asymmetry problem — that is, the fact that we often display contrasting responses to our pre-natal non-existence and our non-existence subsequent to our death — captures the frame or extent of our lives, then, I suppose, all of our life is effectively midlife. Here, philosopher Kieran Setiya narrows his focus to what 20th century psychologists and popular imagination identify as the midlife crisis, which typically occurs some time after one’s 35th year. Whether it is induced by an anxiety about the future (Is that all there is?) or regret about the past, whether actions or choices, Setiya argues that the midlife crisis is a real phenomenon. It is, he confesses, one that he faces himself. Fortunately Setiya has access to a philosophical tradition, practice, and insight that, he thinks, will help him deal with this potentially egoistical problem.

Setiya writes with confidence and clarity. Whenever he restricts himself to philosophical matters, I find him clear headed and persuasive. Unfortunately, his goal here lies outside philosophy. What he really wants is to write a self-help book. In the latter portions of the book he repeatedly misapplies the phrase “philosophical therapy” treating it as a synonym for psychological therapy. But traditionally (as least in the anglo-analytic tradition) philosophy serves as a cure for specifically philosophical conundrums. To assuage one’s anxiety, it is generally thought more efficacious to partake of pharmaceuticals or to watch cricket. Thus what starts out as an interesting discussion of a collection of related philosophical problems degenerates into handwaving fluff and adjurements to live in the moment and transform one’s telic activities into atelic practices. Sigh.

What disappoints most of all is that this book is published by Princeton University Press and labelled as “Philosophy” on its back cover. Yes, philosophy, not self-help, self-improvement, or pop psychology.

It’s entirely possible that some readers will find this book helpful. But, I would argue, that it’s also entirely possible they might get just as much (and much the same kind of ) help by watching cricket.

Not recommended.

A very mixed bag. Found the section on "missing out" or the life not lived most useful as someone in their late 30s. The conclusion, although interesting in some respects (reframing from goal orientation for satisfaction to pleasure in performing the quotidian) was a disappointment, essentially recommending mindfulness techniques.

Más tarde o más temprano surgen en nuestra vida una serie de interrogantes a los que no es fácil dar respuesta. ¿Cómo reconciliarnos con las vidas que no hemos podido vivir, con los caminos que no tomamos, con la nostalgia del pasado? ¿Cómo aceptar nuestros fracasos, la futilidad de las tareas que consumen nuestro presente o la propia mortalidad? La mayor parte de la gente empieza a plantearse estas cuestiones cuando más o menos ha llegado a la mitad de su vida, cuando la juventud está todavía cerca pero puede otear ya la muerte al final del trayecto.

En este brillante libro, a medio camino entre el ensayo filosófico y el libro de autoayuda, Kieran Setiya –profesor de filosofía en el MIT– afronta los retos de la vida adulta y la madurez y nos propone un paseo –de Aristóteles a Schopenhauer, de Virginia Woolf a Simone de Beauvoir– por distintas obras filosóficas y literarias que nos ayudan a entender qué es la crisis de la mediana edad y cómo podemos hacerle frente. Un libro que, en realidad, como dice su autor, «no es solo para quienes se encuentran en la mediana edad, sino para cualquiera que esté lidiando con la irreversibilidad del tiempo».

Best for:
Those who enjoy a philosophical approach to things, and those who are approaching middle age.

In a nutshell:
Philosopher Kieran Setiya, as he approached mid-life, decided to explore ways philosophy might help him power through — or even stave off — a crisis.

Worth quoting:
“I recognize the luxury of the midlife crisis, with a degree of guilt and shame. Why can’t I be more grateful for what I have? But this is my life.”
“There is consolation in the fact that missing out is an inexorable side effect of the richness of human life.”
“There is no more to going for a walk than what you are doing right now. You are not on the way to achieving a goal. You are already there.”

Why I chose it:
I’m turning 40 next year and I enjoy studying philosophy.

Review:
This fairly short exploration of mid-life is lightly humorous and well-written. Author Setiya is approaching 40 and has started to feel what many do when they approach mid-life: a sense of malaise. As he is a philosophy professor, he is, one could argue, fairly well-suited to explore the larger questions around life and what it means as we continue into the second half of our lives.

And I think he is. This is a largely successful book if one is looking not so much for all the answers, but for some ideas of how to change one’s thinking about this time in life. Setiya looks at the big issues that crop up around middle age: regret / paths not taken; fear of death; and wondering what to do next when you’ve completed most of the standard life projects.

The section on regret is interesting, as it forces a rational approach to the issue. Namely, that even if you could start over and do things completely differently, that would mean wiping out who you are now. Do you really want that? Do any of us? Sure, it’s understandable to spend some time wondering about different choices, but you can’t do anything about it. I found this section … not that helpful for me. I don’t have large life regrets or anything like that (though I’ve gone back-and-forth on career choices basically since leaving university) but I don’t think I followed Setiya’s process here.

The fear of mortality section was also a bit of a challenge for me, as his main point seemed to be (if I’m understanding it) that we shouldn’t focus on not being around after death because we weren’t around before birth, and they’re ultimately the same thing. There’s also something here about putting more emphasis on the future than the past, but I had some trouble following it.

The section I found most helpful was the one dealing with the challenges of what happens when you’ve met most of the life goals society sets out for us. For me, that included going to university, meeting a life partner, and buying a home, all of which I’ve done. What happens after that? What about all the other projects we work on, that are also bound to finish (like, hopefully, my book)? What do we do then? Setiya’s suggestion is we focus on all the things that are not bound by a start an end, instead looking at the process. His example is enjoying a walk for the walk’s sake. Not because we are using it as a means to an end. That is a way of thinking that I could definitely incorporate into my daily life.

Overall, would I recommend it to my peers? Eh, probably not, but mostly because I think it’s a little heavier on the philosophy than they’d like.

Keep it / Pass to a Friend / Donate it / Toss it:
Donate it

En este brillante libro, a medio camino entre el ensayo filosófico y el libro de autoayuda, Kieran Setiya–profesor de filosofía en el MIT–afronta los retos de la vida adulta y la madurez y nos propone un paseo–de Aristóteles a Schopenhauer, de Virginia Woolf a Simone de Beauvoir–por distintas obras filosóficas y literarias que nos ayudan a entender qué es la crisis de la mediana edad y cómo podemos hacerle frente. Un libro que, en realidad, como dice su autor, «no es solo para quienes se encuentran en la mediana edad, sino para cualquiera que esté lidiando con la irreversibilidad del tiempo».

The premise of this book seems quite interesting. But, maybe philosophy just isn't for me. I didn't feel like I got very much out of this book until the last chapter and the discussion of telic vs. atelic activities. (Which is something I believe I actually read first in some book about happiness, though I don't remember which.) The introduction about mid-life crises was more interesting, but between the introduction and the last chapter it mostly felt like a big muddle to me. Those who appreciate philosophy more will likely enjoy this more than I did.½

Not really having read many "self-help" books before, I can probably say fairly confidently, that this is probably the most intelligently written one. It almost feels like a therapy session as it seems the the author (an MIT Professor of Philosophy) is experiencing many of the same feelings that I am. At the very least, it will certainly expand your vocabulary. Highly recommend it.