Meera Shah

A crucial book, and one that was already in my library pile when the Supreme Court decided to not block Texas's SB-8. I strongly recommend this.

One in four American women will have an abortion at some point in their lives (studies did not account for trans and NB people), so statistically everyone knows someone who's had one. If you're thinking to yourself you don't, hi, it's me, I'm one of the ones you know. Abortion access has become a plank of the religious right, and often the voices missing from the conversation are the people who've actually had the procedure done. You're the Only One I've Told covers the accounts of at least 17 people who've had abortions (the number is slightly higher as some chapters include other stories that were made in a similar situation). As Dr. Shah notes in the introduction, there's strength in the camaraderie of being vulnerable with others who've made the same decision, but at the same time we shouldn't have to tell our stories. Those of us who speak up are often lauded as brave or courageous, and on one hand we should get to the point where it's not necessarily a 'heroic' thing to just go and have a procedure but due to the hostility in this polarized climate, it really is brave to simply talk about it.

There's some accounts from my home state, where conservatives run all branches and the infighting is between traditional Republicans and far-right extremists. That people need to travel out of state for access is a horror we've allowed to continue. So many hoops are arbitrary: waiting periods, time limit restrictions, forcing health care providers to read a state-sponsored script that does not include accurate information. We do not question people getting other procedures that have higher risks, but because of America's regressive attitudes towards sex abortion is one of the most legally scrutinized procedures. And, when we, the people who've had them want to talk about it, we often can't because who knows if it'll affect our relationships, our jobs, etc. Like Dr. Shah, mentioning mine often opens the door to other people telling me their story, but one that they've never really told anyone else and it feels like an odd kind of secret society.

We exist. We all made extremely personal decisions. Who are you to question them?… (meer)