Sybil Stockdale (1924–2015)

A former Vietnam War POW and his wife recount their life together and their separate agonies during his imprisonment.
"This is the true story of Jim Stockdale, a navy fighter pilot shot down and taken prisoner during the Vietnam War; and his wife, Sybil, who, back home in California, carried on a valiant fight on behalf of her husband and all other POWs during the eight years of his imprisonment. Vice Admiral Stockdale entered the fray as a commander in 1964, when the American commitment totaled about 16,00o men, and left it in 1973, when the number was about the same. In between, however, our commitment had shot up to over thirty times that number. The truth about the Tonkin Gulf incidents--and how they precipitated our huge investment of treasure and blood--is a story Jim Stockdale has protected for twenty years, almost eight of them at great risk in a Communist prison. Sybil and Jim tell their story in alternating chapters--Jim recounting his experiences in prison during those years; Sybil telling of her struggle to get the U.S. government to acknowledge the inhumane treatment of POWs in North Vietnam and to enforce the terms of the Geneva Convention--all the while raising four sons on her own. ... It will likely contain some surprises for American readers, but nothing is revealed here that is not already known by the North Vietnamese government."--Prologue.… (meer)

Admiral Stockdale was shot down early in the Vietnam War and spent 8 years in captivity, suffering broken bones, torture and constant psychological attacks. This book describes the events of his endurance, as well as those of his wife and family. Jim and Sybil alternate chapters, each describing the their very different lives during this time. Both have a gift for writing and describing how they managed to hang on to their sanity and their love through what arguably would have to be the most difficult of circumstances for any married couple.

Admiral Stockdale was the senior POW in his camp and was responsible for holding the rest of the men in line, attempting to resist the endless torture the Vietnamese would dish out, trying to get them to break to their propaganda efforts. To Stockdale's credit, the Vietnamese gave up and finally pretty much let them be the last two years. There was a price to be paid, though, and Stockdale bore a lot of for his defiance. His leg was shattered during his ejection and was never attended to properly and the knee fused, only to be rebroken during torture. He still cannot bend the knee to this day. To keep from being used in a propaganda film, he cut himself and beat his face black and blue with a stool. At one point, he even slashed his wrists to keep the Vietnamese from being able to use him to demoralize the American troops. All the while, he was secretly rallying the prisoners through an elaborate communication system within the prison, tapping messages to each other. He managed to convince the men to stay unified, that through sticking together, they would not break.

Meanwhile, in the States, Mrs. Stockdale was leading a grassroots effort to get the U.S. Government to force the Vietnamese to recognize the Geneva POW Conventions. She organized the wives of the POWs and lobbied long and hard in Washington. She and the Navy even figured out how to give Jim a way to pass secret messages in the letters he was occasionally allowed to write to Cybil. This enabled the government to know for the first time who was prisoner. Mrs. Stockdale's efforts became so well known that Jim actually believes it was one of the reasons the Vietnamese eased up on the torture near the end of the war.

I don't know much about the Vietnam war, but I have a much greater appreciation for the POWs and the extreme pain they endured for freedom. This alone demands our respect and honor. I am ashamed that Saturday Night Live made such a mockery of Admiral Stockdale when he ran as Ross Perot's running mate in 1992. They were way out of line in their portrayal of him. This man deserves nothing but the thanks of our nation.

On a side note, I first became interested in this book through reading Good To Great by Jim Collins. He mentions in his book a conversation he had with Adm. Stockdale. He asked him how held up the best in the prison camps: the optimists or the realists. Adm. Stockdale replied the realists. The optimists were constantly saying they would be out by Easter, then the 4th of July, then Labor Day, then Thanksgiving, and so on. The holidays came and went and they eventually broke down. The realists would say, "we don't know when, but we will get out someday." That attitude kept them going through it all. Jim Collins adopted this type of thinking into what he calls the Stockdale Paradox: facing the brutal facts of reality while not losing sight of the ultimate goal. Very good advice for when we get into our own little cycles of self pity. Face reality and get on with it.… (meer)

A management consultant recently referred to "The Stockdale Paradox" at work. In trying to find out what it was, I came across Jim Collin's website, which gave me the background. Jim Stockdale was an American prisoner of war in Vietnam who developed techniques subvert communication among the prisoners. This allowed them to maintain the morale and withstand many years of confinement and torture.

The book alternates between Jim's story and his wife's Sybil. In the few letters they exchanged during Jim's 7 years of imprisonment, they managed some covert exchanges of information. It's an interesting read. I would have liked more of an explanation of how the cryptography worked or what was communicated. There are several things which are left as loose ends. The updated copy I have (1990) contains a final chapter about unsuccessful stint as president of The Military College of South Carolina (The Citadel). Again, the chapter was interesting, but didn't seem to fit very well and left me with a lot of questions.… (meer)