DNF at 8%

Okay, I only read this out of morbid curiosity. I mean, to get 76 1 star reviews on Amazon means you had to do a stellar job pissing readers off with some really gawd awful writing material.

The reviews about the actual book were consistent. Overuse of flowery fluff using obscure words of the English language. A lame ass plot with lots of holes and a boring main character. Writing that is so bad, that you will want to iron your eyeballs to alleviate the burning sensation from eye herpes.

In all due respect, I initially thought the comments were exaggerated. But after the second paragraph, I was already blinking with incredulity. The author would just go on and on about Ella's voluptuous body with gorgeous curves and perfect wavy hair. It sounded more like a tireless rant about his creepy stalking. Just... ick.

Add to the fact that Princess Ella Tundra is an anagram of the woman the creepy author stalked and it seems like this book is more of a fantasy of his that involves napkins and too much skin cream in the privacy of his messy apartment... or mom's basement.

I tried. Believe me; I tried to get into this nonsense. But I could only read the prologue and the first chapter before I was skipping entire sentences of pointless fluff. The plot just made no sense at all. A "rebellious princess" (which seems to be an oxymoron because her recently deceased father allowed her to do pretty much everything she wanted) wanders off to visit some old dude that lives in a place... she doesn't know where of course, and then reveals her identity to the first shlomo she bumps into in the forest who casually isn't a thug, con artist or creepy stalker that wants to chop her up and eat her body. Oh no, the red bells are soooo not ringing when he offers to take her to this really cool tavern now that he knows who she is. What could possibly go wrong?

Spiked ale anyone?

This book could have almost worked if it was a satire about the stupid things that overly pampered young women do in a medieval fairytale settings. Sadly, it seems more like a lonely Friday night hanky panky gig. Bring out those kleenex and avoid this drivel like the plague.
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wouldn't use it for kindling....