Usually three stars from me is not good. In this case, yeah, but for reasons many people can ignore. This is obviously an earlier work of the author, as I have read several of her novels and this one has hallmarks of an amateur. However: the plot is good, the characters are good, and the feelings go deep. The fight for sobriety is nearly visceral.

The book needed a better editor, to pull the writing up to at least standard. I'm not sorry I read it. Most people can ignore what any good editor could've corrected. If you're curious, what's wrong with it is three things. One, not keeping clear which character's head we're in for each scene. Two, telling the reader what a character thinks and feels, rather than showing us in actions (or inaction) instead. And, ohemgee, Three, repeating reasons for behaviors, particularly Simon's, over and over. I skimmed paragraphs because of that. ( )

BRUTALLY HONEST REALITY

I love Hart because she has a gift for getting you into the head of her characters. This book is no exception. I have now officially read everything she has available. This book has a different feel to it though. It might just be in my head but it didn't feel the same as her other stuff. Much like the Jared books are different from most of her other stuff. That is not a bad thing at all. I'm just sharing my thoughts. I will note that there was a LOT of sex.... like really a LOT. if m/m bugs you skip this because its a lot of it. But Hart is big on showing intimacy between her guys that way so seriously, you should just expect it when reading one of her books. She is very good about being blunt in the book descriptions that it's in there so you've been warned.

Anyway... I don't think there are any spoilers here. I stayed as vague as possible for that reason. Sorry if I messed up.

SHORT VERSION:
Hart is incredible and presents a very honest and raw view of what its like to battle addiction and the loss of your identity. Coming from a place of knowing many addicts, this one hit home and I don't think I've ever read a book that expressed the struggle so well.

LONG VERSION:
I have rarely read anything that explains what it is like to go through addiction recovery in such an honest way. Trevor recognises where his mistakes were made, that he has not yet earned the right to be trusted again, that his actions DO and WILL affect how others see him and remember him, and that there are some things he will never be able to fix. But we also see how those trying to recover are affected by those around them. My heart breaks each time he expresses how much he needs those he cares about to trust him even though he knows he doesn't deserve it. I also love how Hart shows the different struggles that addicts face, that its not as easy as simply wanting to quit. I love how she shows the full spectrum of those who have your back and rarely doubt, to those that want to fight so hard but also have to battle with the scars the addict has left on them, to those that are outright hateful when the addict fights the addiction. She brilliantly shows how subtle gestures and considerations can make a huge difference while other ones can get annoying or even hurtful and then again how an addict can misunderstand intentions bc they are assuming its only coming from doubt in them. Ahh, in short, this book is incredible for seeing through the eyes of a recovering addict and getting a true sense of what a struggle it can be.

On the flip, Hart also does a great job of helping the reader understand the impact of grief. Grief from the past but also the very real grief of having something you genuinely love being ripped away from you, your purpose being ripped away from you. ( )