POSSIBLE TRIGGERS: Survivor's guilt, 9/11 flashbacks
The story is a very in-depth account of two men who are living their lives on the surface. Julian Cornell is a world-famous clothing designer. His entire life is all about "the beautiful". Julian has all the beautiful male models he could possibly want, some to grace his bed, some his arm and some his catwalk. Yet, he can never admit, even to himself, that it’s all "on the surface" since he never lets his heart or emotions become involved in any of his relationships or one-night stands. Then we have Nick Fletcher; a fire-fighter whose life changed irrevocably on 9/11. Not only does Nick suffer from survivor’s guilt because he lived while his entire team of men died. He now suffers from many different phobias... most of them he never even heard of before that terrible, unforgettable day. Nick sees a psychiatrist once a week to discuss his problems and is mostly working through them. The biggest thing Nick has suffered from all his life is the fact that he is gay, but he has also never acknowledged that fact to anyone, not even to himself. He’s managed to keep this particular secret for fear of his family would find out. Nick knows he lives on the surface but feels there’s no other option if he not only wants to keep his family and his job. The saddest part of his reasoning is that he doesn’t feel he deserves to be happy when his friends and co-workers are dead. Julian and Nick have been in love with each other since high school. Nick ended the relationship when he realized he had fallen in love with Julian. Julian was devastated when Nick ended things and told him he wanted to be “normal” ...to have a wife and family, and above all...NOT to be gay. Nick really tried. He slept with some girls...but it never felt right. After 9/11 Nick swore that he was through making excuses as to why things didn’t go well when he tried to have feelings for women. He started to hide and sneak around and have hook-ups with men.... some very questionable. Julian life however was different as he had never been in the closet...he didn't particularly care what people thought... he was just who he was...take it or leave it. The only thing he never allowed to be touched was his heart. Julian knew his heart had and always would...belong only to Nick. Eighteen years pass before they meet again, and it was like they had never been apart. They were surprised how much their life experiences had changed them both.... everything except for their desire for each other. Julian has to convince Nick to make some life altering choices though before they can take up again where they left off. Nick invites Julian to go with him to the hospital where he volunteers almost every day to help with the burn victims...and it turns Julian’s life around. Not only is he excited about his designing again, but he can see how his helping is a benefit to the burn victims themselves. To get the full story of these two men you have to read "beyond the surface". ( )

Second chances

Such a great story about second chances. Nick hid himself from the world his entire adult life, but once he ran into Julian he could no longer deny who he was. ( )

Review Pending
4.0 out of 5 stars

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DNF @ 31 %.