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A New York City therapist examines the paradoxical relationship between domesticity and sexual desire and explains what it takes to bring lust home. One of the world's most respected voices on erotic intelligence, Esther Perel offers a bold, provocative new take on intimacy and sex. Mating in Captivity invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home. Drawing on more than twenty years of experience as a couples therapist, Perel examines the complexities of sustaining desire. Through case studies and lively discussion, Perel demonstrates how more exciting, playful, and even poetic sex is possible in long-term relationships. Wise, witty, and as revelatory as it is straightforward, Mating in Captivity is a sensational book that will transform the way you live and love.… (meer)
It's not as... opinionated? as I would have believed from reading other reviews of this book - it seems like other reviews and the material from the publishers emphasizes the more controversial ideas in the book, but the book itself is well reasoned, and more a collection of case studies and things you can learn about them then specific "one-size-fits-all" advice. The core idea is that both partners in a relationship have their own sexuality and sexual expression, and denying that / treating them as one ends up killing eroticism. I went into it skeptical, by page 15 I was convinced that the author knows what she's talking about, and read the rest of the book very quickly. Highly recommended. ( )
This book was not what I was hoping for. I read "State of Affairs" and it really made me think. This on the other hand was very dry and hard to stay interested in, the cases sounded familiar at least. But I thought this was more about getting to know your potential partner and things to discuss or talk about, because that's how it was explained to me in an interview by Perel herself.... as she was basically advertising her discovery card game.... so this was rough. It ended without a closer and I didn't really leave with anything for me to think about and discover about myself... let alone someone else. ( )
The unstated and unexamined assumption behind this book is that the only way for a long-term relationship to be healthy is if there is a lot of sex. Perel never addresses the fact that some people just don't want to have sex all that often and that's okay. Perel thinks that sex is more important than any other aspect of a relationship, and so it's okay to sacrifice other things that are great about a relationship - including a sense of safety and security - to make sure that there's lots of sex.
The premise of the book is that it can be hard to keep sex exciting in a long-term relationship. Perel thinks this is because sex thrives on a sense of novelty and exploration and even danger, and after you've been with someone for a long time, the novelty wears off. Her solution to this is of course to do some experimentation, but also to distance yourself from your long-term partner so that the sex feels new again. Which is fine if frequent and exciting penis-in-vagina sex is the only goal of your long-term relationship, but if you value a sense of closeness and security over sex, then this book will not be helpful. ( )
Informatie afkomstig uit de Engelse Algemene Kennis.Bewerk om naar jouw taal over te brengen.
WILD THINGS IN CAPTIVITY
Wild things in captivity while they keep their own wild purity won’t breed, they mope, they die.
All men are in captivity, active with captive activity, and the best won’t breed, though they don’t know why.
The great cage of our domesticity kills sex in a man, the simplicity of desire is distorted and twisted awry.
And so, with bitter perversity, gritting against the great adversity, the young ones copulate, hate it, and want to cry.
Sex is a state of grace. In a cage it can’t take place. Break the cage then, start in and try.
D. H. Lawrence
Opdracht
Informatie afkomstig uit de Engelse Algemene Kennis.Bewerk om naar jouw taal over te brengen.
To my parents, Sala Ferlegier and Icek Perel. Their vitality lives on in me.
Eerste woorden
Informatie afkomstig uit de Engelse Algemene Kennis.Bewerk om naar jouw taal over te brengen.
The story of sex in committed modern couples often tells of a dwindling desire and includes a long list of sexual alibis, which claim to explain the inescapable death of eros.
Citaten
Informatie afkomstig uit de Franse Algemene Kennis.Bewerk om naar jouw taal over te brengen.
Mais les faibles aussi détiennent une forme de pouvoir, qui se manifeste à travers la déférence, la passivité, la retenue, le fait de s'insinuer dans les bonnes grâces de quelqu'un, d'utiliser la posture morale de la victime.
La frustration que les gens éprouvent lorsque leur corps n'est pas touché, carressé, étreint et satisfait, les amène à se sentir acculés.
Il suffit que notre santé nous trahisse, que la mort vienne nous effleurer, pour que nous nous sentions envahis par une bouffée d'insatisfaction, que nous soyons saisis par la faim de quelque chose de meilleur.
Laatste woorden
Informatie afkomstig uit de Engelse Algemene Kennis.Bewerk om naar jouw taal over te brengen.
Nurturing eroticism in the home is an act of open defiance.
A New York City therapist examines the paradoxical relationship between domesticity and sexual desire and explains what it takes to bring lust home. One of the world's most respected voices on erotic intelligence, Esther Perel offers a bold, provocative new take on intimacy and sex. Mating in Captivity invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home. Drawing on more than twenty years of experience as a couples therapist, Perel examines the complexities of sustaining desire. Through case studies and lively discussion, Perel demonstrates how more exciting, playful, and even poetic sex is possible in long-term relationships. Wise, witty, and as revelatory as it is straightforward, Mating in Captivity is a sensational book that will transform the way you live and love.
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