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Stop Doing That Sh*t: End Self-Sabotage and Demand Your Life Back (Unfu*k Yourself series)

door Gary John Bishop

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1401196,005 (3.75)1
Business. Self-Improvement. Nonfiction. HTML:

From the author of the New York Times and international bestseller Unfu*k Yourself Gary John Bishop presents a no-holds-barred guide to breaking through our cycles of self-sabotage to get what we want out of life.

In Unfu*k Yourself, Gary John Bishop told us it was time to stop making excusesâ??to recognize and take responsibility for the negative self-talk holding us back.

In Stop Doing That Sh*t, he builds on that message, teaching us how to stop self-sabotaging behavior. Bishop explains how our destructive cycles come down to the way that we're wired. He then identifies different types of people and the ways we fu*k ourselves over: We can't save money. We land in the same type of toxic relationship. We're stuck in a rut at work. Analyzing why we act the way we do, including what our common grenades are that blow up our lives, Bishop then shows how we can interrupt the cycle and stop self-sabotaging our lives.

Written in the same in your face style as Unfu*k Yourself, Stop Doing that Sh*t will help us get in touch with our psychological machinery so we learn to interrupt negative thoughts and behavior before they start, allowing us to give our attention to something else, and start to find success in the areas we thought we never could.

We can take back our lives. We may have fu*ked up in the past, but Stop Doing That Sh*t will show us how to break the patterns in order to live the lives we yearn to have.… (meer)

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Reading this book was an interesting experience. The author's primary assertions and lessons were things I had already discovered during about a decade's worth of journaling and therapy.

Bishop starts by addressing three factors which we all have in common, and which we can not escape: the conditions of our early lives, the fact that we are hard-wired to prefer the easy and familiar over the risky and new, and that our brains have held on to all kinds of message from earliest childhood in our subconscious mind, and these influence us without our being aware of it.

Then he addresses three negative judgements we've all made and which are part of our subconscious: about ourselves, about other people, and about life itself. The specific beliefs are individual, but Bishop asserts that we all have. This is a very cynical place to linger, but those of us who are stuck tend to believe negative things about one or more of those areas. I found the work of discovering my specific beliefs both sobering and enlightening.

I read the book quickly, eager to get to the most important part: what to do about these things which have held me back. Bishop's answer: instead of making decisions based on the past (the often-negative experiences retained our subconscious), focus on the future. Envision the future you want, and then work backwards. Become the person you need to be to achieve the life you want, rather than defining yourself by the past. Be aware of old habits of thought and emotion when they appear, and then make different choices.

All of which makes perfect sense.

But the reason this book is four stars instead of five is that Bishop doesn't present any techniques for achieving this beyond self awareness and persistence. I'm a huge fan of self-awareness, but given my own experiences, I also know that self awareness is seldom enough to create the desired changes.

There are a number of things a person could do to apply these lessons to achieve change: therapy, a life coach, hypnosis or self-hypnosis to introduce new patterns into the subconscious, working with friends to reinforce the focus on the future and help keep an eye out for old fears flaring up. But a person is unlikely to find everything they need in this book.

That said: this is still a highly readable and insightful work, one which I would recommend to anyone who feels stuck in their life.

( )
  jsabrina | Jul 13, 2021 |
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Business. Self-Improvement. Nonfiction. HTML:

From the author of the New York Times and international bestseller Unfu*k Yourself Gary John Bishop presents a no-holds-barred guide to breaking through our cycles of self-sabotage to get what we want out of life.

In Unfu*k Yourself, Gary John Bishop told us it was time to stop making excusesâ??to recognize and take responsibility for the negative self-talk holding us back.

In Stop Doing That Sh*t, he builds on that message, teaching us how to stop self-sabotaging behavior. Bishop explains how our destructive cycles come down to the way that we're wired. He then identifies different types of people and the ways we fu*k ourselves over: We can't save money. We land in the same type of toxic relationship. We're stuck in a rut at work. Analyzing why we act the way we do, including what our common grenades are that blow up our lives, Bishop then shows how we can interrupt the cycle and stop self-sabotaging our lives.

Written in the same in your face style as Unfu*k Yourself, Stop Doing that Sh*t will help us get in touch with our psychological machinery so we learn to interrupt negative thoughts and behavior before they start, allowing us to give our attention to something else, and start to find success in the areas we thought we never could.

We can take back our lives. We may have fu*ked up in the past, but Stop Doing That Sh*t will show us how to break the patterns in order to live the lives we yearn to have.

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