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Coping with death is never easy. It comes at all the wrong times, to all the wrong people. Even the deaths of those who say they are ready to go are very hard on family and loved ones. As friends of the bereaved, what can you do and say to bring some measure of comfort? Drawing on her own experience of being widowed at a young age, and combining it with the words of survivors who have lost mothers and children, husbands, grandparents and siblings, Lynn Kelly offers a simple but profound little book of advice. Don't Ask for the Dead Man's Gold Clubs--so called because in fact people will ask--is an invaluable guide to troubling times. There are four sections: What to Do Now, What to Do Over Time, What Not to Do, and the particularly difficult situations of Suicide, Stillbirth, and Miscarriage. The advice is practical, heartfelt, direct, insightful. Let your friend know how you feel. Express sympathy to all the family members. Talk about the dead person and not be afraid to say his or her name. Write a fond memory or send a picture. Bring food. Listen. Record a new phone message. Remember holidays. Keep giving hugs. And never: Criticize arrangements. Assume that it's a blessing. Make parallels with animals. Say I know how you feel. Do something without asking. And don't ever, ever ask for the dead man's golf clubs. t is the human experience shared, and how to be a true friend at the time of greatest need.… (meer)
Most people struggle with how to help a friend who is grieving. This is especially true for those who have not experienced a similar loss or a loss that is "complicated" by a tragedy such as accidental drug overdose, suicide or murder. I found this book to be an extremely helpful resource.
Based on the personal experiences of people who have experienced the loss of spouses, parents, children and siblings, this easy ready gives concrete suggestions for what to say and do to help as well as what NOT to say and do. The content is insightful, practical, and very encouraging for those who want to provide tangible help for a grieving friend. A perfect primer for teaching us how to truly help friends through one of the most challenging times of life. ( )
Advice for Friends When Someone Dies. People from across the country who have lost family members dear to them provide practical suggestions on what friends can do to comfort a friend. This book emphasizes the importance of support from friends. Comments include what to say, what to write and how to help now as well as over time. The book also includes advice on what not to do. Widowed at age 34 and left with three small children, author Lynn Kelly said she wrote the book because so
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"Some friends do things that are so incredibly kind that you can never begin to repay them," Kelly said. "On the other hand, while no friend wants to say or do the wrong thing in this situation, they sometimes do, and it hurts.
"I did some research and found little available for those who wanted to support a grieving friend. I knew what I thought was helpful, but I wondered what others thought, so I decided to find out. I interviewed people across the country, ages 17 to 90, from all walks of life, who have suffered all kinds of loss. This book is a compilation of their suggestions as well as my own. It is meant to provide friends of the bereaved some ideas on how to comfort a friend, and in so doing, I think people will find they receive a little comfort for themselves." ( )
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Informatie afkomstig uit de Engelse Algemene Kennis.Bewerk om naar jouw taal over te brengen.
To Peter
Eerste woorden
Informatie afkomstig uit de Engelse Algemene Kennis.Bewerk om naar jouw taal over te brengen.
Introduction
Coping with death is never easy. It comes at all the wrong times to all the wrong people—to parents who lose precious babies, to newlyweds and lifelong couples, to favorite brothers and only sisters. It may be expected or sudden, through every imaginable illness or by suicide, murder, or terrible accident. Even the deaths of those who say they are "ready to go" are no easier for the grieving families and friends left behind.
What to Do Now Be There
There is no question that being there for your friend is the best thing you can do immediately after a death. Sometimes we are so afraid we will do or say the wrong thing that we stay away. This is the worst thing to do, because it sends a message that you don't care. Get in your car, or on the plane, train, or your bike, and go to the home for a visit, even if you only stop by for a few minutes. There is no substitute for your physical presence. One of our best friends got in his car at 4 A.M. and drove two hours to be with me the morning Pete died. Because he was with me, I knew he cared.
Citaten
Informatie afkomstig uit de Engelse Algemene Kennis.Bewerk om naar jouw taal over te brengen.
Be honest. If you don't know what to say, don't be afraid to say so. (13)
Laatste woorden
Informatie afkomstig uit de Engelse Algemene Kennis.Bewerk om naar jouw taal over te brengen.
"I don't think I will ever get over it, and I don't ever want to. Getting over her would be almost like forgetting." Loretta Cordova, Denver, CO Daughter, Kathy Jenny, lived fifteen minutes
Coping with death is never easy. It comes at all the wrong times, to all the wrong people. Even the deaths of those who say they are ready to go are very hard on family and loved ones. As friends of the bereaved, what can you do and say to bring some measure of comfort? Drawing on her own experience of being widowed at a young age, and combining it with the words of survivors who have lost mothers and children, husbands, grandparents and siblings, Lynn Kelly offers a simple but profound little book of advice. Don't Ask for the Dead Man's Gold Clubs--so called because in fact people will ask--is an invaluable guide to troubling times. There are four sections: What to Do Now, What to Do Over Time, What Not to Do, and the particularly difficult situations of Suicide, Stillbirth, and Miscarriage. The advice is practical, heartfelt, direct, insightful. Let your friend know how you feel. Express sympathy to all the family members. Talk about the dead person and not be afraid to say his or her name. Write a fond memory or send a picture. Bring food. Listen. Record a new phone message. Remember holidays. Keep giving hugs. And never: Criticize arrangements. Assume that it's a blessing. Make parallels with animals. Say I know how you feel. Do something without asking. And don't ever, ever ask for the dead man's golf clubs. t is the human experience shared, and how to be a true friend at the time of greatest need.
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1
Based on the personal experiences of people who have experienced the loss of spouses, parents, children and siblings, this easy ready gives concrete suggestions for what to say and do to help as well as what NOT to say and do. The content is insightful, practical, and very encouraging for those who want to provide tangible help for a grieving friend. A perfect primer for teaching us how to truly help friends through one of the most challenging times of life. (