I recently read the book [b:XOXY, A Memoir: Intersex Woman, Mother, Activist|51321143|XOXY, A Memoir Intersex Woman, Mother, Activist|Kimberly Zieselman|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1580253076l/51321143._SX50_SY75_.jpg|72770500] (for my review of that book see here) and wanted to learn more about being intersex. This book is a nonfiction book which aims to educate on exactly that topic. It gives an interesting overview of the subject, although it was a quicker read than I expected it to be. It's not too dense and academic, with a good mix of hard science, historical context and personal stories. There was even some information on intersex in Greek mythology, and Judaism, which I found particularly interesting.

The biology is explained in detail, and not dumbed down, but I still found that I understood most of it, despite not being a scientist. Some of it gets quite complicated, but because the science is broken up by the history and personal stories, I found that the book managed to keep my interest the entire way through. I found it helpful that a prior knowledge of much biology wasn't assumed, for example DNA was described in detail before the subject of intersex DNA was covered. The book features some diagrams which are simple and helpful, but I would have appreciated more diagrams to really help with some of the more complex science. The book goes into detail about gonadal intersex, androgen insensitivity syndrome, Swyer syndrome, Turner syndrome, Kinefelter syndrome, congenital adrenal hyperplasia and 5-ARD, and really does get across the point that intersex people vary massively.

The most important thing about this book is that it is written by an intersex person, and is celebratory and positive about being intersex. The book explains in detail why unnecessary surgeries on intersex babies and children are wrong, and celebrates natural intersex bodies. This is important because intersex voices have been ignored and spoken over for so long. The personal pieces in this book were very insightful, in particular the one written from the perspective of a Navajo intersex person. If you only read one chapter from this book, make it that one. The commentary about the intersection between colonialism and racism and the intersex experience is very powerful, and particularly important for white and non intersex LGBTQ people to read. Intersex people should be leading these discussions, and in this book they are.

There was one thing that bothered me about this book, though, and that was the discussions about trans people. The start of the book felt very positive about trans people. Whilst the trans and intersex experiences are not the same, and intersex people face unique issues and prejudices due to being intersex, there are definitely overlaps between the two. However, later on in the book there is a personal piece written by the wife of a trans woman, where the pronoun 's/he' is used to refer to her during transition, only using 'she' once transition is 'complete'. This made me feel very uncomfortable, and isn't the way that trans people usually choose to talk about themselves. I don't know whether the trans woman in question was in favour of being referred to using s/he, but it didn't feel right.

And then we get to the last chapter in the book. This was a discussion about the word 'cisgender'. Whilst there were some good points about the issues intersex people have with the word cis (are they cis if they are intersex but identify with their assigned sex? how can they be trans if they have a nonbinary body and a nonbinary identity? can someone be nonbinary and cis? intersex and cis?) but the perspective of the discussion seemed to come from a place of distrust towards trans people. The idea that talking about the difference between being trans and being gender nonconforming and using the word cis erases a gender non conforming persons identity is an argument used by TERFs to silence trans women. That trans people must say 'I am a man but I am female' or 'I am a woman but I am male' and can't transition their sex puts trans people, especially trans women, at risk of violence. It reiterates the belief that people need to know a trans person's assigned sex or else they are being dishonest. We need for all sexes and genders to be seen as valid, but this rhetoric hurts vulnerable people. I feel that there is a solution somewhere to the linguistic problems around the language used to describe trans and intersex people, but this chapter doesn't give any suggestions, just says that trans people are describing themselves wrong. This really bothered me. It felt like the attack was on the wrong people, on trans people for supposedly upholding a binary, when that binary is forced upon us by cis people, similarly to the way a binary is enforced on intersex people by people who aren't intersex. ( )