Some funny parts, and I loved the structure around Campbell's Hero's Journey. But in many ways I didn't relate to her motherhood experiences and the level of privilege was tough to deal with did those of us who are struggling through newborn life without it. ( )

Klein's series of essays are loosely structured around the hero's journey (Joseph Campbell), and how it applies to the early years of motherhood. There are laugh-out-loud parts and bleakly honest parts; she is incisive and grateful by turns.

See also: Mama Tried by Emily Flake

Quotes

The truth is that motherhood is a hero's journey. For most of us it's not a journey outward, to the most fantastic and farthest-flung places, but inward, downward, to the deepest parts of your strength, to the innermost buried core of everything you are made of but didn't know was there. (The Hero's Journey, 9)

A mother's heroic journey is not about how she leaves, but about how she stays. (11)

But becoming a mother alters every inch of your body, your routine, your soul, your heart. (Mom Clothes, 52)

I realize some people reading this book may not be parents, so I'll frame it this way: imagine that every time you want to leave the house, you have to get into a bar fight with someone... (The Car Seat, 61)

One of the things that has continuously amazed me about my son is the paradox of how much he seems to love life versus how much he loathes so many of the basic things we must do to keep him alive. (61)

Ever since I became a mother, his safety and my sanity have had trouble existing at the same time. (64)

...suddenly...all your feelings come crashing down on top of you like a tidal wave; love, frustration, exhaustion, awe, sadness. Life usually just gives us one or two of these things to feel at any given time, but occasionally it seems to crumple them all up into a ball and throw them at our head just to remind us that it can. (Somewhere Over the Rainbow, 112)

As someone who has never been able to compartmentalize even one fucking aspect of my life, I can tell you, I don't recommend it. Imagine carrying around literally everything you own in your arms twenty-four hours a day, including forks and knives and all your emotions and USB cords, and never being able to put one thing down. (Your Husband Will Remarry Five Minutes After You Die, 124)

The truth is, there will be times where you actually must step away from what you love in order to love it right, when your absence might be more helpful than your presence. There will be times when in fact the right thing to do is to say, "I need a break." Unfortunately, we live in a culture that philosophically does not believe in the notion of mothers needing a break, and, as a result, doesn't invest politically or economically in making breaks possible. (Change of Hands, 166)

Sometimes I think about how much bad news there is to tell my kid, the endlessly long, CVS receipt scroll of truly fucking terrible things that have happened, and I want to get under the bed and never come out. (Bad News, 196)

We all have things we enjoy that others might not understand. (In Defense of Drinking, 214)

So much of parenting is adhering, as often as possible, to the persona of a steady, measured, self-confident, unafraid person. (Little Books, 243)

All of this is to simply suggest: that from the deeply protective ferocity with which we stand up for our children, we could learn a lot about standing up for ourselves. (The Return, 265) ( )

Best for:
New moms looking for some solidarity.

In a nutshell:
Author Jessi Klein shares brutally honest stories from her life raising a tiny human as an older mother.

Worth quoting:
If I’d had a hard copy I’d probably have underlined a bunch, but it was an audio book, so I didn’t capture any.

Why I chose it:
I generally like her stuff.

Review:
I don’t have kids, and I’m not having kids. So this book is not for me, and my review should be read from that lens. My review is for other people like me, who might be thinking about picking this book up even though they don’t have any kids, nor do they want any. But maybe they have friends who do.

Klein’s writing reminds me a bit of a previous book I read - “All Joy and No Fun.” I absolutely get that Klein loves her son, and I even get the sense that she is happy being a mother. But being a mother, as described by her, sounds brutal. Like, really, really rough. And she has access to a nanny and had a lot of support. Like, if it was just a matter of it ‘taking a village,’ she should be all set. And yet she clearly isn’t.

One thing that stuck with me was the advice her son’s teacher gave about putting together small books when changes are coming, to walk the child through the change so he can be prepared. Man, that’s a great idea. I might start doing that for myself for changes, just to keep myself calm.

I don’t think that parenting is easy for the primary caregiver really ever. But my goodness, this book definitely makes it sound like something pretty freaking brutal. And honestly, probably more people could benefit from some of this type of frank discussion if they are at all on the fence about having kids.

Recommend to a Friend / Keep / Donate it / Toss it:
Donate it (if I had a physical copy) ( )