Thank you to NetGalley and Henry Holt and Co. for sending this book for review consideration. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

Can a single livestream derail the lives of 3 queer couples over the course of a ten-day holiday trip or will they survive the booze and drug-filled time only minorly bruised?

If you’re a fan of Otessa Moshfegh or Mona Awad but you find yourself wishing their books were more outwardly queer, then I have the story for you! Sasha and Jesse are a young queer couple approaching one year of dating. To mark the occasion they head off on a holiday vacation with a well-known older lesbian couple, Jules and Miranda. To Sasha’s dismaythis group also includes Jules’s best friend Lou, and their influencer socialite turned artist girlfriend Darcy. Whose Instagram Sasha has been privately stalking. Although starting off cordial the group slowly devolves into a fit of betrayal, misunderstanding, and mushroom-induced arguments. Forcing protagonist Sasha to navigate her own insecurities alongside a tumultuous relationship and a curious wandering eye.

As the days unfold she knows she must come to terms with her jealousy of Jesse and Darcy’s budding friendship. However, this begins to prove itself increasingly difficult as their interactions turn sour. Darcy’s effortlessly cool vibe undermines Sasha at every turn. Not to mention her and Jesse’s oh-so-secret livestream taking place at the end of the trip. What could those two be planning? And she can’t help but notice the growing peculiarities of Jules and Miranda’s relationship. Are those cracks she senses? Sasha is determined to find the truth while trying not to show how attracted to Jules she is. Or how intimidated by Darcy she is. Or how insecure she is about her relationship with Jesse. Easy, right?

If you enjoyed Detransion, Baby, or Eileen in the sense that you have no idea if the story you’re getting is the truth or some skewed reality then I would recommend this read. I did enjoy this book but it was quite a wild ride. Sasha is my perfect example of an unreliable narrator. Her way of viewing the world reminds me of Eileen from Eileen or Ren from Chlorine. The way in which she openly allows her biases and opinions to cloud her version of reality just goes to show how deluded some of us can be. And mainly being a linear story from Sasha’s POV allows for a crucial understanding of her inner workings. Although we do receive multiple POVs a few times. My favorite was the brief POV from Sasha’s dog. It was so sudden and normally an intrusion like that would bring me out of the story. But the way it slowly weaved in just worked. Kudos to the author for that one.

Sasha’s determination to remain stubborn and participate in her game was surprisingly endearing. Once she decided on something she really dug her heels in and I respect that. I wouldn’t say I necessarily liked Sasha’s character in the sense that I would want to be her friend or date. But I empathized with her complex web of emotions. She is very self-aware of why she does the things she does. But in the true fashion of mental illness, is powerless to stop herself from making the same decisions. I think a lot of people, myself included, can relate to that feeling of helplessness in spite of knowing exactly what led you to this point. So even though I was frustrated with her, I never once rooted against her.

I will say the actions of everyone in this book are absolutely wild though. It goes to great lengths to showcase how truly messy being queer can be. No couple or even individual is immune to the chaos that ensues on this holiday trip. It is really hard to pick a favorite scene because something was always going wrong. In a good way though, it keeps you interested and invested. I never knew what was going to come next in terms of plot.

I really only have two qualms with this book. One is how gross it is at times. I’m kind of a squeamish person and when Sasha talked about how they fed their eye boogies to their dog I threw up a little in my mouth. So I do not recommend if you are the squeamish type. It’s not the entire book but it doesn’t hold back at the gross-out factor. My second “issue” I guess you could say is the fact that two of the characters have J names, Jesse and Jules. So for the first 3 or so chapters, I was taken a little bit out of the story trying to keep the J characters straight. But other than those two minor issues I can’t think of anything that stood out to me as being “bad”.

I gave it three and a half stars because I did enjoy the book. I think it is well-written, the characters have depth and complexity, and the plot kept me gripped. However, I do not see myself re-reading this book. And I don’t mean that in a bad or negative way at all. It’s just one of those books where I recommend reading once because I think a re-read would take a certain magic out of the book. I was a fan of Sasha’s unreliable POV and uncertainty over what she or another character would do next. But knowing those answers would, for me at least, ruin parts of the book I really enjoyed.

All in all, if you’re a fan of unreliable narrators, literary fiction, and messy queer people this book is for you! I would recommend if you do have a slightly higher reading level. And I would also say this book is for you if you aren’t in a fragile place as a few content warnings are listed above. Thanks for reading and let me know what you think. Enjoy!

CW // self-harm, sexual violence, graphic and explicit violence, sexual assault, blood, anti-semitism, profanity, nudity, torture, cheating, depression, emotional abuse, misgendering, religion.
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Good, clever, funny. Bristled at these aesthetic gays. Every queer novel seems like an homage to kink, but only as a moment of growth or climax, not as a part of queer life ( )

"Gee, this sure reminds me of that High Femme Camp Antics essay I read a couple years ago!" -- me, an idiot, halfway through the first chapter of this book
I was scrolling through tiktok the other day when I came across a recommendation for a forthcoming debut novel about a group of funny, emotionally fraught lesbians spending the holidays together. I thought to myself, Wait a minute! I've seen that hideous cover before! and promptly requested it from NetGalley (thnx NetGalley!! XOXO). Then I thought, Wait a minute! I've read that hideous, self-absorbed, pathetically cruel attitude about lesbian gender relations before! and promptly scrolled through my digital folder of longform essays and articles.
Full disclosure -- I did not enjoy High Femme Camp Antics, Davis's 2020 essay, parts of which are inserted here wholesale but for the change from first to third person. Or maybe it would be truer to say that I didn't like Davis, as she presented herself in that essay -- she came across, I thought, as simultaneously pathetic and cruel, self-conscious but not at all self-aware. A nasty piece of work, I thought! The worst girl you know! It sounded like something a character in a Torrey Peters story would write. And yet -- I quite liked this and even found myself rooting for Sasha, the central character and presumed author avatar. I'm not sure I can articulate why -- Sasha is just as pretty and mean-spirited as Davis seems in HFCA, if not more so. But, my god, I just felt so bad for her! Everyone, from her partner to the universe at large, seems so determined to misunderstand her and frustrate her desires, awful as those desires may be. It's like she's stuck in kind of moral-emotional America's Funniest Home Videos, sometimes actually funny but more often painfully cringe-inducing.
All of that is to say that I liked this way more than I thought I would, and expect a lot of people -- especially the Otessa Moshfegh dark comedy set, or the lesbian auto-fiction set -- would like it as well, or at the very least have a lot of thoughts about it. ( )