Every parent would happily give up ever scolding, punishing or threatening if she only knew how to ensure that her toddler/child/teen would thrive and act responsibly without such painful measures. Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves is the answer to this universal wish. It is not about gentle ways to control a child, but about a way of being and of understanding a child so she/he can be the best of herself, not because she fears you or seeks your approval but because she wants to, of her own free will. Aldort's guidance takes the struggle out of parenting. The book is full of real life stories, often leaving the reader moved to tears or laughter and relieved to discover that there is a kinder way. The SALVE communication formula has been praised for providing a hybrid of The Work of Byron Katie and Nonviolent Communication. It gives parents the tools to move beyond their initial unproductive reaction, to a response that is connecting and empowering to the child and to themselves. Selected Reading Questionnaire.