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Bezig met laden... My Husband Betty: Love, Sex, and Life with a Crossdresserdoor Helen Boyd
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Meld je aan bij LibraryThing om erachter te komen of je dit boek goed zult vinden. Op dit moment geen Discussie gesprekken over dit boek. I know a fair number of trans and genderqueer people, but I don't know alot about male cross dressers. This book is a thoughtful look at different types of cross dresserss written by someone who is a lot like me (urban, feminist, reads too much) and is married to a cross dresser. It's a great book and a compelling quick read. geen besprekingen | voeg een bespreking toe
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Author Helen Boyd is a happily married woman whose husband enjoys sharing her wardrobe - and she has written the first book on transgendered men to focus on their relationships. Traditionally known as cross-dressers, transvestites, or drag queens, men like Helen's husband are a diverse lot who don't always conform to stereotype. Helen addresses every imaginable question concerning the probable and improbable reasons for behavior that still baffle not only "mental health professionals" but the practitioners themselves; the taxonomy of the transgendered and the distinct but overlapping societies of each group; coming out; bisexuality, and homophobia. The book features interviews with some very interesting people: a dominatrix and her crossdressing husband; a crossdressing Reiki master and his son; a woman who after dating one crossdresser wanted to date others and fell in love with a transsexual instead; and a woman whose husband promised her he was only a crossdresser who later realized that he was transsexual. The stories and opinions chosen to represent the spectrum will surely titillate, shock, and disgust some readers; alternatively, Helen's narrative is a powerful lens with which to examine our own notions of gender and equality. Geen bibliotheekbeschrijvingen gevonden. |
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Google Books — Bezig met laden... GenresDewey Decimale Classificatie (DDC)305Social sciences Social Sciences; Sociology and anthropology Groups of peopleLC-classificatieWaarderingGemiddelde:
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She says finds crossdressers to be decent guys who love their wives and Sunday afternoon football. And when they're jerks they're the same kinds of jerks non-CD men are: selfish, sexist, insensitive, etc. Women find them attractive because they're attentive and don't objectify other women, They have a deep respect for women and take the crass things they're supposed to think about women and tuck them away in their minds. When they dress en femme they say they're just trying to express the feminine part of themselves, but that's not quite true. As Boyd says, if they were after expressing femininity they could watch the kids or do the dishes. When she and her husband go out to CD events she laughs that she and the other few genetic women are the only ones there in sensible shoes. All the guys are wearing sky high heels. So she says crossdressers are very male. Rather than expressing their feminine selves they express a masculine version of femininity, their inner objectified woman.
She says there are two things important in sexuality (for all of us): self-acceptance and responsibility. The crossdresser must be able to share fantasies with his partner in order to find his way to self-acceptance, "accepting that sexual desire is unfathomable and complicated."
"People with sexual fetishes or variants often deny and suppress them for years in what almost always proves to be a futile attempt to control and deny their sexual desires and live "normal" lives." The premier crossdresser group, Tri-Ess, insists that crossdressers are heterosexual and that there is no sexual component to their dressing, they just like to be pretty. Throughout the book Boyd acknowledges the safe haven Tri-Ess has afforded to many crossdressers but states that they need to let go of their need to appear straight and embrace the whole continuum of the transgendered community from crossdressers to transsexuals in order to advance the safety, both physical and psychological of all.
Boyd has a website myhusbandbetty.com that's a real eye opener. She doesn't have much interest in "vanilla" sex and promotes the open acceptance of all variations. The book and her website are a needed education for all of us because they show the value of accepting differences both socially and romantically. ( )