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The Water Giver: The Story of a Mother, a Son, and Their Second Chance

door Joan Ryan

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463553,585 (4.5)5
Both a medical drama and meditation on motherhood, The Water Giver is Joan Ryan's honest account of her doubts and mistakes in raising a learning-disabled son and the story of how his near-fatal accident gave her a second chance as a parent. Joan Ryan tells the powerful story of how her son's near-fatal accident, and his struggle to become whole again, gave her a second chance to become the mother she had always wished she could be. * Acclaimed journalist and author: Joan Ryan's sports columns earned her thirteen Associated Press Sports editors Awards, the National Headliner Award, and the Women's Sports Foundation's Journalism Award, among other honors. Her first book, Little Girls in Pretty Boxes: The Making and Breaking of Elite Gymnasts and Figure Skaters was named one of the Top 100 Sports Books of all Time by Sports Illustrated. * Medical drama: When Ryan's sixteen-year-old son fell off of a skateboard, it wasn't obvious at first how serious his injuries were. With a journalist's eye for the telling detail and the rhythms of a natural storyteller, she captures his medical ordeal as he lurches from crisis to crisis--and with harrowing honesty and astonishing insight, relates her own journey through unknown emotional terrain. * A mother's story: Ryan's son was diagnosed with Sensory Integration Dysfunction as a toddler; by the time he reached school age, it was clear that he suffered from ADHD and other learning disabilities. Though she loved him fiercely, she never stopped trying to fix him. When he is restored to her after his accident, she realizes she has the opportunity to be his mother all over again--only this time she lets go of the illusion of control. Now she not only accepts, but also embraces her son for who he really is.… (meer)
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When she is first called to the hospital, acclaimed sports columnist and author Joan Ryan is convinced that her son's skateboarding accident would only require several stitches for him and a wasted afternoon for her. Sixteen-year-old Ryan Tompkins had fallen off his skateboard, and it wasn't immediately obvious just how serious his injuries actually were. Despite having various cuts and scratches and complaining that his head hurt, Ryan seemed fine; indeed, he seemed slightly annoyed to be going to hospital by ambulance. In this moving and extremely powerful memoir, Joan Ryan retraces the tumultuous and complicated relationship that delivers mother and son to this moment when, through his brush with death and his painful rehabilitation, they are challenged to redefine who they are and what they mean to each other.

For most of his sixteen years, Ryan hadn't been easy to parent. He lurched from one setback to another, struggling to overcome learning disabilities and ADHD. Joan's grim determination to solve the puzzle of her son's odd and often defiant behavior left her confounded and exasperated. She became so controlling and judgmental, so focused on trying to fix what was wrong with him, that she became more of Ryan's relentless reformer than his loving mother.

By the time Ryan arrived at the hospital, it became apparent that he was suffering from a traumatic brain injury, and the doctors weren't sure if he would even survive. The expectation of a wasted afternoon soon became the furthest worry from Joan Ryan's mind. Instead she spends months rather than hours with her son in the hospital and in rehab, watching him fight to survive his injury and to reclaim a small measure of his life.

When her son wakes from his coma, Joan gets a second chance at motherhood. She rejoices at his first word, his first step, his first spoonful of food, his first attempt to write. She gets the chance to be Ryan's mother all over again and for the first time recognizes what an amazing, heroic young man he is. The Water Giver is the universal story of a mother coming to terms with her own limitations and learning that the best way to help her child is simply to love him.

I really enjoyed reading this book. I found it to be poignant, well-written, moving and lovingly honest; a comprehensive account of a family dealing with a child's traumatic brain injury. The story didn't dwell too much on Ryan's challenges or portray him as someone who needed to be pitied because of his injury.

It was a very interesting book for me to read, and I could certainly understand how a traumatic brain injury not only affects - and continues to affect - the person who is injured, but also their entire family. I give The Water Giver: The Story of a Mother, a Son, and Their Second Chance by Joan Ryan an A+! ( )
  moonshineandrosefire | Oct 19, 2014 |
Joan is a wonderfully gifted writer and her book lays bare the challenges and rewards of raising a child with special needs. In addition to learning challenges, Joan's son (named Ryan) takes a terrible spill while skateboarding and suffers significant brain damage. The book describes the unabashed relationship that grows from this apparent tragedy. ( )
  jdrtsn | Aug 23, 2010 |
As a mother I found this book to be inspiring, and gut wrenching. I thought it was an honest and candid look at this mom's experience with her son. I felt her emotions, and loved her telling of this story. ( )
  joannemepham29 | Jul 25, 2010 |
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Both a medical drama and meditation on motherhood, The Water Giver is Joan Ryan's honest account of her doubts and mistakes in raising a learning-disabled son and the story of how his near-fatal accident gave her a second chance as a parent. Joan Ryan tells the powerful story of how her son's near-fatal accident, and his struggle to become whole again, gave her a second chance to become the mother she had always wished she could be. * Acclaimed journalist and author: Joan Ryan's sports columns earned her thirteen Associated Press Sports editors Awards, the National Headliner Award, and the Women's Sports Foundation's Journalism Award, among other honors. Her first book, Little Girls in Pretty Boxes: The Making and Breaking of Elite Gymnasts and Figure Skaters was named one of the Top 100 Sports Books of all Time by Sports Illustrated. * Medical drama: When Ryan's sixteen-year-old son fell off of a skateboard, it wasn't obvious at first how serious his injuries were. With a journalist's eye for the telling detail and the rhythms of a natural storyteller, she captures his medical ordeal as he lurches from crisis to crisis--and with harrowing honesty and astonishing insight, relates her own journey through unknown emotional terrain. * A mother's story: Ryan's son was diagnosed with Sensory Integration Dysfunction as a toddler; by the time he reached school age, it was clear that he suffered from ADHD and other learning disabilities. Though she loved him fiercely, she never stopped trying to fix him. When he is restored to her after his accident, she realizes she has the opportunity to be his mother all over again--only this time she lets go of the illusion of control. Now she not only accepts, but also embraces her son for who he really is.

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