William Ashbless (–1846)

My reaction to reading this collection in 2002. Spoilers follow, so, if you want to discover the jokes yourself, read no further

"Introduction", Tim Powers -- William Ashbless is the semi-legendary character originally created by Tim Powers and James Blaylock as a name for some parodies of modern poetry they submitted -- and had accepted -- to a college literary magazine. Since then the Romantic Poet Ashbless has shown up in several of Powers' and Blaylock's works (and others), most notably in Powers' The Anubis Gates. Here Powers plays with the notion that Doyle aka Ashbless (and this is a supposition only a reader of The Anubis Gates would make) was somehow made immortal and really is the same Ashbless as the ostensible friend of Powers and Blaylock in the twentieth century, an Ashbless who claims to not just share the name of the poet but be the Romantic Poet. (Of course, Powers plays this straight and just mentions the latest disappearance and rumor of death of his friend Ashbless, scribbler and salt-and-pepper shaker collector. He doesn't bring up the the implicit suggestion that Ashbless here might be Ashbless of The Anubis Gates.) Powers does describe Ashbless' work as "crude . . . implausibly motivated, badly-rhymed, defective in craft". )

"William Ashbless: A Clarification", James P. Blaylock -- The joke continues as Blaylock, friend of the vanished Ashbless, sets the record straight on Ashbless, who he thinks was too kindly treated by Tim Powers in his preceding "Introduction". Blaylock blasts Ashbless' obvious plagiarism (of course, Ashbless, claiming he's the famous William Ashbless) claims Coleridge and Matthew Arnold stole from him, his poverty and failure to repay loans, and the bribery attempts to get Ashbless' poetry collection a Pulitzer.

"Slouching Toward Gayalou", William Ashbless -- A silly pirate story parody of no particular significance. Ashbless steals his opening epigraph from Samuel Taylor Coleridge's "Rime of the Ancient Mariner" (he corrupts a couple of lines) and Herman Melville's Moby Dick -- "Call me Fishmeal." The story is full of blatant cliches, puns, allusions (Captain England rides a squid at the end rather like Captain Ahab being lashed to Moby Dick), contradictions (the sea around a tropical island is described as "icy brine"), improbabilities (England's many-masted, elaborately-rigged, uneven-decked ship and the giant squid that shows up at the end). Ashbless no doubt had a lot of fun writing this homage to pirate tales.

"Those Two Liars", William Ashbless -- Ashbless confirms that, despite what Tim Powers and James Blaylock said earlier in their introductions to this collection, he's still alive. He then goes on to accuse Powers and Blaylock of attempting to steal his work, bribe the Pulitzer committee, and generally threatens them with bodily harm. Powers, writer of secret histories, is intimated to have a secret history of his own by Ashbless. Continuing the allusions to Michael Barton's The Incredible Search for Dr. Halsey (evidently a real '60s UFO book) of Blaylock's "William Ashbless: A Clarification", it is hinted that Powers recent move to another Southern California location near San Bernardino may have been to hide something in the yard of the near home.

"Some Mysteries Unveiled at Last or What Really Happened", William Hastings -- I'm pretty sure if Hastings is a pseudonym for Tim Powers and James Blaylock. Hastings tries to set the record straight about the volatile William Ashbless and his acquaintances Tim Powers and James Blaylock. He notes that Ashbless, like a tornado, is best observed from afar and that Powers and Blaylock, students in the school of hard knocks, foolishly keep associating with him despite his violence and threats of violence against them. (The piece ends with Ashbless showing up at the door to find Blaylock -- who has been hiding and working and living in a makeshift basement under the author's crawlspace.) More dark hints are made about the trio's connection to Dr. Halsey's disappearance -- something mentioned in most of the "non-fiction" pieces of this collection. A secret history of Pulitzer Prize corruption is also mentioned in passing.… (meer)

I have utterly no idea how to rate this one, because (in my current migraining state,) I'm not sure if this little volume is absolutely brilliant, but I just don't quite get the joke, or if it's the dumbest thing I've ever read and I'm standing in the street shouting: “You guys! Nekkid Emporer dudes!”

I'm not entirely clear on plot, except that it's some paper from some dead guy, and there are onions. And a sturgeon. Reading this felt a little bit like going for a drink with a co-worker and running into one of his frat brothers. For a few minutes you think it's going to be three people chatting at a bar, but then they start ordering PBR and shots of Jack, and suddenly you're sitting in between two drunk, old, former football players who are laughing and wheezing uncontrollably and saying things like: “Remember that girl? After the... you know, with the THING?!” “F*CK ME, the THING!” “And remember when you, that time, you know!” “HAHAHAHA I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THE TIME!!! Dude, why aren't you laughing, this is some funny SHIT!” Whereupon I reply: “Oh yeah, of course, the time, with the thing, at that place... yeah. Haha. Funny shit.”

Exactly like that.… (meer)

Ashbless's long standing feud with his editors/biographers and publisher reaches detente long enough for this slim volume to appear. While I do not wish to condone some of the choices he has made that have led to his current financial (and legal) position, it is a great shame that so little of his work has made it into publication in recent years. His abrasive personality and issue with personal hygiene have no doubt contributed to his positon, but one cannot find his erstwhile collaborators totally blemeless, either.

Anyway, Ashbless is on familiar ground with tales of piracy. Comparable with some of his best work.… (meer)

William Ashbless is perhaps best known to modern readers through the recent editing of his works by Tim Powers and James Blaylock. (A situation he deplores, as his notes throughout this novella attest.) It is, however, refreshing to have a recent work by the great man himself made available, even if it must be edited by his former protoges. In this short piece, he revisits some of the themes of his earlier works, although this time in prose, and in a futuristic setting that contrasts with his previous preferences for fantastical historic settings.

I do hope that Ashbless can settle his feuds with his publishers and editors so that more work of this nature can be made available to his fans.… (meer)