Eileen Wharton

It is rare to find a book so difficult to put down outside of the thriller genre but I had no difficulty at all in reading this cracking little book in one sitting. It is so funny that I couldn't contain my laughter and I felt as if I was completely attuned to Eileen Wharton's prosecco-style humour (sparkling and dry, get it?).

In fact, I felt as if Eileen Wharton knew me personally as I recognised so much of myself in the book; does the 'M' in The M Word perhaps stand for Michelle? I couldn't believe that both Roberta and I have an office bitch mug and anyone who knows me will have heard me referring to 'meat' sausages as being made of hooves and @rseholes, which is pretty much how hotdogs are described in this book.



So it was with tears of laughter streaming down my cheeks that I read most of The M Word, but life isn't always a comedy so Roberta also has many of the ups and downs of every day life to deal with.

Roberta is such a fabulous character; she is so honest and outspoken that you can't help but immediately love her. It's quite sad at the beginning when Roberta finds out that her mother, Alice, is dying but when she visits her for the final time it is clear from their constant sniping at each other that they don't have a traditional mother/daughter relationship. With her dying breath, Alice drops a bombshell and tells Roberta that the letters will explain everything. As we read these heartbreaking letters with Roberta, we learn a lot more about Alice and why she was never able to show Roberta how much she loved her.

When her husband, Andy aka Knobhead, ran off with Terri-Ann from Thomas Cook, Roberta is encouraged by her hilarious friend, Tammy, to try internet dating. This had my kindle shaking with laughter as Roberta went on one disastrous date after another in her attempt to show her boss, Mick the dick, that she could get a hot date for the company ball. Roberta has no idea that when Mick asked her if she was taking a date to the ball, he was hoping she'd say no so he could go with her. Awwwwww. I had my fingers crossed for those two as Mick is completely smitten with Roberta but she's too insecure to see it.

I could write so much more about this book as I think it's brilliant; it is perfectly balanced with seriousness and humour and also contains a variant of my favourite Geordie word ever: claggy (meaning sticky). I loved the witty hashtags sprinkled throughout, like #sickasachip and #datingdisaster which you could imagine Roberta using on social media if she's one of those people who document every minutiae of their lives online #asifanyoneisinterested. I will also never look at a bottle stopper in the same way ever again...and again it reminded me of a funny day in my life when one of my colleagues in a design business asked me if I though his sculpture looked like a 'bottle stopper'. He didn't say bottle stopper, but if you read The M Word you'll know what I mean! I didn't even know what it was! #shelteredlife

I abso-blooming-lutely recommend The M Word: it's fresh, honest and filled to the brim with sparkling dry humour. It's so good I definitely want to read it again!

I chose to read an ARC and this is my honest and unbiased opinion.… (meer)

I have been raving about Eileen Wharton since reading her extremely funny book, The M Word, last year; I love Eileen's sense of humour and if you ever get the chance to go to an author event where she's appearing (Morecambe & Vice, perhaps?) you don't want to miss it. I put on my serious head as I picked up her pre-The M Word book, Blanket of Blood, but really should have known that there would be some tea-spluttering laugh out loud moments in a thriller written by Eileen Wharton.

The prologue is pretty chilling as a young girl is abducted as she contemplates buying something literally 'off the back of lorry'. I was plunged deeper into darkness in chapter one with the discovery of a baby's body in the woods and the introduction to DI Gary Blood. I went from goosebumpy chills of the crime to choking laughter at Blood's circumstances on waking. There it is! Eileen Wharton's trademark humour; you just can't keep it down and I love it.

What makes this book different from run-of-the-mill thrillers is, not just the humour, but the depth of character Eileen Wharton has created in Gary Blood. DI Blood is one thing but family man Gary Blood is a whole different beast when emotions are added to the mix. Gary has his own demons with his health, an ex-wife who doesn't want to leave, inappropriate feelings for his sister-in-law and his struggle to accept the lifestyle of his daughter. With so much going on in his life, along with a stressful job, I'm surprised he wasn't found preparing to jump off the Tyne Bridge!

The story about the abduction of pregnant girls is chilly, scary and very clever as we get to see inside the mind of a killer and the scars that have been left there. It's sobering to be reminded how our actions can affect others, especially impressionable children. I'm not condoning the crime, but by showing the reader the reason behind it is very refreshing and clever of Eileen Wharton as it is rare to see the full picture in a book.

Blanket of Blood is superbly written with a cunning criminal, a seriously flawed detective, a dark, original murder method and lashings of dry humour to keep the reader grounded. It's fast-paced, gripping, unique, amusing and very very highly recommended; I can guarantee that you won't have read anything like this before. I do hope to see the return of DI Blood in the future.

I chose to read an ARC and this is my honest and unbiased opinion.… (meer)

Daily life in the bowels of a Newcastle sink estate is related with verve and humour by the main character Rose Starling. Trying to provide for her three youngsters, she cannons between the DSS and the black economy, a hypocritical, religion-obsessed parent, spiteful in-laws, and the tyranny of the estate's female bruisers determined to set her up as a patsy for their crimes because of her links to her murdered ex-husband.

The subtext of corruption and violence permeating from playground to big business, reminiscent of any despotic third world country, is deftly handled and never overwhelms the humour which becomes more brittle as Rose grows increasingly desperate to hang on to her sanity and do right by her offspring in the face of unremitting pressure.

Yes, you can read this novel for its laughs, and there is plenty to make you smile, but it isn't a caper or a thriller. It is social comment on life for many trapped in a maze where every attempt to escape is blocked by a glass wall, and where the owning of a Prada handbag or a pair of Jimmy Choos is both a salve and a mirage of upward mobility. Watch this author. Her star will rise.… (meer)