The four words that fill the heart with fear: we need to talk. When you hear the phrase, what happens inside of you? Do you wonder what you have done? Do you think of someway to avoid the potential fall-out. Linda Minte is a therapist, academic and blogs regular on her BeliefNet blog, Doing Life Together. She wrote We Need to Talk to help people navigate the sometimes troubled waters of relational conflict.
The fourteen chapters of this book explore a number of issues that feed into the dynamics of conflict. These include trying to avoid it, trusting the other person, acknowledging differences, how negativity exasperates the issue, our different 'styles' in conflict, and solvable and unsolvable problems. Mintle also discusses at length the need to manage expectations and to have proper boundaries. She addresses the challenges of conflict within a blended family system, the different ways males and females approach sex, dealing with difficult people, the dynamics of anger and resentment and the power of forgiveness.

Mintle offers a great deal of sage advice and the sort of things that go on internally and interpersonally when we lock horns with another.She has written a self-help book to help people navigate through some difficult spots. While she has helpful insights for just about anyone I think you have to actually be in conflict to see the value of some of what she says. Still a helpful resource for the next time someone says we need to talk. I give this book 3.5 stars.

Notice of material connection, I received this book from the publisher in exchange for my honest review. ( )

The words "We need to talk," usually means something is wrong, we become defensive, it means something needs to be settled. This phrase makes us uncomfortable because you have to work through conflict. We face conflict everyday. The news, in our familly, on our jobs, just being in a public place or spiritual conflict.
We all have conflict in our everyday lives, some are easily resolved, some take a little more finesse. Knowing how to handle conflict is a skill a lot of us are lacking. This book will help you to resolve conflicts.
In the chapter about Conflict, a woman is invited to church by her friend and gives her heart to God, she realizes that some things in her life has to change. No more shacking up, no more sleeping together. This is why some young people don't belong to church, because they can't keep doing things that are wrong, they don't want people to judge them, another conflict (spiritual).
The section on Power Struggle Conflicts hits home. My power struggle has been with my daughters about my grandbabies (parenting conflict).
In Can We Trust Each Other it covers secrets, unreliability, betrayal, how to build trust. It covers Criticism, I grew up where people were constantly criticizing me, contructive criticism they called it. Defensiveness, Contempt, Stonewalling. It talks about the styles of confluct, Avoider, Volatile, Validator, Hostile, Competitive and Accommodating.
This book covers so much, it will help you resolve a lot of issues or at least help to smooth things over.
Take a look around your home, your place of work or your church do you need to say WE NEED TO TALK?

I received a complimentary copy from Baker Books for my review. ( )