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Asking for a Friend: Three Centuries of Advice on Life, Love, Money, and Other Burning Questions from a Nation Obsessed

door Jessica Weisberg

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History. Reference. Sociology. Nonfiction. HTML:A delightful history of American's obsession with advice and??from Poor Richard to Dr. Spock to Miss Manners


Americans, for all our talk of pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps, obsessively seek advice on matters large and small. Perhaps precisely because we believe in bettering ourselves and our circumstances in life, we ask for guidance constantly. And this has been true since our nation's earliest days: from the colonial era on, there have always been people eager to step up and offer advice, some of it lousy, some of it thoughtful, but all of it read and debated by generations of Americans.


Jessica Weisberg takes readers on a tour of the advice-givers who have made their names, and sometimes their fortunes, by telling Americans what to do. You probably don't want to follow all the advice they proffered. Eating graham crackers will not make you a better person, and wearing blue to work won't guarantee a promotion. But for all that has changed in American life, it's a comfort to know that our hang-ups, fears, and hopes have not. We've always loved seeking advice??so long as it's anonymous, and as long as it's clear that we're not asking for ourselves; we're just asking for a friend… (meer)

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Toon 3 van 3
Best for:
Anyone who likes self-help books / advice columns.

In a nutshell:
Author Weisberg explores the history of advice giving, from Benjamin Franklin to life coaches.

Worth quoting:
“Americans’ interest in advice reflects our cultural tendency toward optimism: we tend to believe that with a bit of direction and a small boost, the future can be bright.”

“People seem to prefer advice-givers whose wisdom seems attainable, who learned from doing.”

Why I chose it:
My sister gave me this for Christmas a couple of years ago, because I LOVE advice books (and have my own advice website: https://www.hownottobeajerkwhen.com/).

Review:
The title gave me the impression that this book would focus primarily on newspaper (or online) advice columns: Dear Abby, Dear Prudence, Dr Drew (blech), Dr Ruth. And while the first two are covered in one chapter, the focus is as much on other ways people have become well-known by giving advice, including life coaches and marriage counselors.

The book is divided into four parts, and starts with ‘Old, Wise Men.’ I was most fascinated with the section on Benjamin Franklin, partly because Weisberg brings up the Silence Dogood letters, which I know only because I watch National Treasure probably three or four times a year. But it also covers experts like Dr Spock and Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, and traditional advice columnists like Judith Martin (a.k.a. Miss Manners), giving readers some insight into their background and their philosophy around providing guidance to others.

This book is mostly focused on the history of advice-giving; I think another volume would be interesting if it focused on the more modern advice columnists, or perhaps more of a comparison to how its evolved. This book seems to generally end with the 1990s (ish); it seems like so much has happened with this field in the last 20 years that I’d like to see that thrown into the mix.

The only criticism I have is in one chapter she reference Woody Allen a lot. I don’t need a pedophile mentioned in my books on advice, I don’t care how influential he may have been.

Keep it / Pass to a Friend / Donate it / Toss it:
Donate it ( )
  ASKelmore | May 23, 2020 |
My advice: read this book.
Weisberg presents a survey of "advice" in the US, from colonial days, through Ann and Abby, right up to the present with Quora. With an even hand, she reviews the backgrounds of the advice-givers and the arc of their careers in giving that wisdom that people - apparently EVERYONE - seeks.

Along the way, it's a revealing history of America - the problems, pitfalls and goals that people experience and the guides they seek to navigate life. ( )
  mrklingon | Dec 3, 2019 |
This brief book offers a series of vignettes about advice givers throughout history. Most are Americans, because, as the author explains, self help and the "everyman expert" are distinctly American concepts. Highlights for me included:

* A reminder of the genius of both Benjamin Franklin and Judith Martin (Miss Manners)
* Learning about Sylvia Porter, an intelligent and capable financial expert who gave advice to the middle class in the mid 20th century
* The bizarre story of Joan Quigley, personal astrologer to the Reagans

Recommended for all libraries. ( )
  librarianarpita | Jul 14, 2018 |
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History. Reference. Sociology. Nonfiction. HTML:A delightful history of American's obsession with advice and??from Poor Richard to Dr. Spock to Miss Manners


Americans, for all our talk of pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps, obsessively seek advice on matters large and small. Perhaps precisely because we believe in bettering ourselves and our circumstances in life, we ask for guidance constantly. And this has been true since our nation's earliest days: from the colonial era on, there have always been people eager to step up and offer advice, some of it lousy, some of it thoughtful, but all of it read and debated by generations of Americans.


Jessica Weisberg takes readers on a tour of the advice-givers who have made their names, and sometimes their fortunes, by telling Americans what to do. You probably don't want to follow all the advice they proffered. Eating graham crackers will not make you a better person, and wearing blue to work won't guarantee a promotion. But for all that has changed in American life, it's a comfort to know that our hang-ups, fears, and hopes have not. We've always loved seeking advice??so long as it's anonymous, and as long as it's clear that we're not asking for ourselves; we're just asking for a friend

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