Nathalie (Deern) reads on in 2016 - Part 2

This is the first time I open my second thread in early February! I hope I'll manage to give this one a picture! :)

Books read and reviewed:

Not yet reviewed:
April:

Old thread https://www.librarything.com/topic/209936:
January:
1. Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant by Anne Tyler - 3.8 stars
2. The Woman in Black by Susan Hill - 2.8 stars
3. Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes - 3.8 stars
4. Gravity's Rainbow by Thomas Pynchon - 4.2 stars
5. Fifth Business by Robertson Davies - 4 stars
6. Die Kraft liegt in mir by Tamara Dietl - 3 stars
7. Und trotzdem Ja zum Leben sagen by Viktor Frankl - 5 stars
8. Stiller by Max Frisch - 5 stars
9. Sacred Hunger by Barry Unsworth - 4.1 stars

February:
10.L'amica geniale By Elenna Ferrante - 4.8 stars
11.Crooked House by Agatha Christie - 3 stars
12.Nate in Venice by Richard Russo - 3.7 stars
13.Wonach wir wirklich hungern by Deepak Choprah - 3.8 stars
14.Storia del nuovo cognome by Elena Ferrante - 4/5 stars

March:
15. storia di chi resta e di chi fugge by Elena Ferrante - 4.2 stars
16. storia della bambina perduta by Elena Ferrante - 4 stars
17. Sunshine Sketches from a Little Town by Stephen Leackock - 3.5 stars
18. The Accidental by Ali Smith - 4 stars
19. Me Before you by JoJo Moyes - no Rating
20. The Vegetarian by Han Kang - 4 stars
21. The Trouble with Women by Jacky Fleming - 4 stars
22. The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet by Becky Chambers - 3.5 stars
23. Sovereign by C.J. Sansom - 3.5 stars
24. Du Miststück Meine Depression und ich by Alexander Wendt - 3.5 stars

April:
25.The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood - 4.5 stars
26.Gabriel's Gift by Hanif Kureishi - 3.5 stars
27.Adam Bede by George Eliot - 3.8 stars
28.Die Klavierspielerin by Elfriede Jelinek - 4 stars
29.Vanessa and her Sister by Priya Panar - 4.5 stars
30. Ein ganzes Leben by Robert Seethaler - 4.5 stars
31. Traumnovelle by Arthur Schnitzler

Purchases:
January:
- The Mussel Feast by Birgit Vanderbeke - Kindle - DE
- Sacred Hunger by Barry Unsworth - Kindle - EN read
- Fifth Business by Robertson Davies - Audio - EN read
- Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes - Audio - EN read
- Loop of Jade by Sarah Howe - Kindle -EN
- Die Kraft liegt in mir by Tamara Dietl - Kindle - DE read
- Und trotzdem Ja zum Leben sagen by Viktor Frankl - Kindle - DE read
- The Age of Kali by William Dalrymple - Kindle - EN ==> TA Book 1/9

February:
- Storia del nuovo cognome by Elena Ferrante - Kindle - IT ==> TA book 2/9 read
- Nate in Venice by Richard Russo - Kindle - EN read
- Storia di chi fugge e di chi resta by Elena Ferrante ==> TA book 3/9 read
- Lettera a un Bambino mai nato by Oriana Fallacci
- Oriana una Donna by Christina De Stefano

March:
- Storia della bambina perduta by Elena Ferrante ==> TA book 4/9 read
- The Accidental by Ali Smith ==> TA book 5/9 read
- I giorni dell'abbandono by Elena Ferrante ==> TA book 6/9
- La figlia oscura by Elens Ferrante ==> TA book 7/9
- The Vegetarian by Han Kang read
- "Trouble with Women" by Jacky Fleming read
- The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet by Becky Chambers read
- Sovereign by C.J. Sansom read
- Du Miststück Meine Depression und ich by Alexander Wendt read

April:
- The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood read
- Gabriel's Gift by Hanif Kureishi read
- Vanessa and her Sister by Priya Parmar
- Die Klavierspielerin by Elfriede Jelinek read
- Vanessa and her Sister by Priya Parmar

Challenges:

1,001 GRs:
- January: Stiller by Max Frisch COMPLETED
- February: The Voyage Out by Virginia Woolf - already read
- March: Harriet Hume - not partcipated
- April: Contact by Carl Sagan - book unavailable in IT

AAC 2016:
- January: Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant Anne Tyler - COMPLETED
- February: Nate in Venice by Richard Russo COMPLETED
- March: --
- April: Gary Snyder

BAC 2016:
- January: The Woman in Black by Susan Hill COMPLETED, Sacred Hunger by Barry Unsworth COMPLETED
- February: Crooked House by Agatha Christie COMPLETED, The Age of Kali by Willam Dalrymple
- March: The Accidental by Ali Smith COMPLETED, The Return of the Native by Thomas Hardy
- April: Adam Bede by George Eliot COMPLETED, Gabriel's Gift by Hanif Kureishi COMPLETED

CAC 2016:
- January: Fifth Business by Robertson Davies COMPLETED, Kim Thúy
- February: Helen Humphreys, Sunshine Sketches by Stephen Leacock COMPLETED
- March: --
- April: The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood COMPLETED

Booker books:
Sacred Hunger by Barry Unsworth (Winner 1992)
The Accidental by Ali Smith (SL 2005)
The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood (Winner 2000)

Others
Series:
Elena Ferrante Neapolitan series - COMPLETED
Knausgaard????
At least 3 more Montalbanos

Planned reads of the month:
January
Stiller by Max Frisch (1,001)
Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant by Anne Tyler (AAC)
The Woman in Black by Susan Hill (BAC)
L'Amica Geniale by Elena Ferrante
Finish Gravity's Rainbow by Thomas Pynchon
Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes
Fifth Business by Robertson Davies (CAC)
Sacred Hunger by Barry Unsworth (BAC)

February:
- The Age of Kali by William Dalrymple (BAC)
- Crooked House by Agatha Christie (BAC)
- Nate in Venice by Richard Russo (AAC)
Sunshine Sketches by Stephen Leacock (CAC)
- Me Before You by JoJo Moyes
- Storia del nuovo cognome by Elena Ferrante

March:
- storia di chi fugge e di chi resta by Elena Ferrante
- The Accidental by Ali Smith (BAC, 1,001)
- The Return of the Native by Thomas Hardy (BAC, 1,001)
-Storia della bambina perduta by Elena Ferrante

April
-The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood
-Adam Bede by George Eliot
- Gabriel's Gift by Hanif Kureishi

booked 5 - last one

Happy new thread Nathalie, hope everything works out with your manager next week!

Happy New Thread, Nathalie. Wishing you a good week ahead.

Happy new thread, Nathalie!

Hi Natalie. Because you gave Stiller five stars, it will be on the tbr pile. I hope your weekend was a good one.

Hey, new thread! Wish you a good week at work.

Happy new thread! I acquired the Ferrantes yesterday in a fit of book greed.

Happy new thread!

Wow! Happy New Thread, Nathalie!!!

Happy New Thread, Nathalie! I hope that your upcoming week is a good one.

Happy new thread!

Congrats on the new

Yay for new thread!

Hi and thank you for visiting and leaving happy wishes, Anita, Barbara, Mamie, Linda, Charlotte, Lucy, Rachel, Peggy, Darryl, Jim, Lori and Lori! :)

>10 Whisper1: Linda, I must warn you that you most probably won't like the protagonist at all. I quite understood him and felt for him, but didn't like him either.

It looks like I opened a new thread with the last bit of weekend energy to leave it (and my visitors) alone again. Very busy time, and after staring at excel sheets for 10+ hrs I feel unable to read or switch on the internet at home although I don't sleep much. Yoga is really helping, I'm doing 30 to 60 minutes now on most early mornings when I can't sleep anymore. I'm getting callused skin on my hands from all the "down dog" positions. :)

Hm..was there a DT yesterday? Oh yes - I went home, feeling stressed and lonely and instead of eating too much I called my grandma and we chatted for half an hour. :)
Today I took a looooong lunchbreak and managed not to feel guilty or to look at my watch and instead gave my friend Andrea my full attention. We met at a restaurant and had kamut pizza with artichokes, mushrooms and asparagus.

The Deepak Chopra book is turning out to be quite good in its second half where it's more about consciousness and less about food rules. I should be able to finish it today. No progress at all with any of my other more diffcult books. I once again feel like having cotton wool in my head.

Donna - if you're reading here, this is in answer to your question from my last thread - I don't throw away the books, I packed them for the library! I only throw away books I scribbled into or that fell into the bathtub or that are otherwise unpresentable. :)

Thank you for the comments re. Unsworth and Ferrante!!

Well done on the phone call instead of eating rubbish (as someone who had a terrible day today and went and bought some hot chocolate! ). Impressive stuff. It sounds like your yoga is doing good things. I have felt a lot better since I started swimming more often. It is such a small change in lots of ways, but seems to make a big difference (just not with the hot chocolate!).

Nathalie, you know how we were recently talking about reading The Color Purple in German translation? I was reminded of this reading Elena Ferrante and thought you might be able to shed light on the topic.

In the English translation of her novels, a character's dialogue is often preceded with "She said, in dialect..." or "She said, in Italian..." What is the significance of dialect vs Italian, and how should the reader interpret this? Secondly, it this something the translator did, because the original was written in dialect when it needed to be, and the reader would have been able to understand the significance on their own?

I love language!

>21 charl08: Today I'm eating a fresh fennel + orange + pomegranate salad instead of driving to the shop and eating a white bread. *sigh* I hope to make it through the afternoon.

I've been doing yoga on and off for so many years now, and it really improves when you do it regularly (=daily!). It just feels different, poses that used to hurt are suddenly relaxing or even energizing and you can tackle others. I had good phases before, but then I always got over-ambitious and hurt myself. And after a longer break it's always so hard to restart. Guess it's the same with many sports and swimming is so wonderful anyway.
I'm looking forward to the next weeks. My teacher will be away for 5 weeks and has hired substitutes who teach different styles.

>22 lauralkeet: Yay, dialect talk! First of all – the original books are written in an easy high Italian that’s close to normal spoken Italian. Written Italian can be on a very high level, with long sentences and special grammatical forms. This here is simple Italian, but it’s not dialect. As in the translation, Lenù says “XYZ was speaking in dialect” or “ABC spoke Italian”, and I’m glad for it. There are just a couple of examples, usually swearing, where we see the full dialect. That might even have been left like that in the translation.

Other authors like Camilleri chose a different way. His characters often speak Sicilian and in the later books even the prose becomes more and more Sicilian (I guess this doesn’t show in English?). But it’s a level that all Italians and even I can mostly read without big problems and it fits his (very educated) character Montalbano. When you speak a local dialect, there’s often a “high” level of it that even educated people might speak at home for easier communication. I myself grew up with the “high” dialect of my region and I speak it with my parents and when needed. But I don’t speak the much rougher old form farmers for example use in my village (you'll find that in families who lived in the same place for generations).

Ferrante’s characters grow up in a “bad quarter” that has been like that forever, so their spoken language will be unintelligble for 95% of her Italian readers. Lenù and Lila have to learn Italian at school almost like a foreign language. So Ferrante might have thought "if I can't use the real thing, why then put extra energy into a compromise that won't satisfy anyone?" Writing in dialect is difficult, you might get hundreds of letters from people claiming that expression X should be spelled differently.

>23 Deern: that is sooo interesting Nathalie, thank you!!

>23 Deern: Thanks for your story about Italian, Nathalie!

In Dutch, writing in dialect also gets the author many letters. Sometimes it does add to the book, I think, but it's not the easy way for an author.

>24 lauralkeet: You're very welcome. :)

>25 DianaNL: Yes, I think as long as you write the high language, you're fine. As soon as you try writing dialect some real or wannabe experts will say that "if person X has grown up in A, (s)he would never use this expression but that, because ... (insert long-winded etymologic explanation)".

*****
Well, YDT was something ridiculous. I didn't have much time for yoga yesterday and when I saw that the next video in the Erin Motz 30day challenge (thanks again Lynda!!) would be almost 20 minutes I decided to do a shorter one I already knew. Yes - for everyone this would be a totally normal process. but I'm one of those people who say "it's a 30 day challenge and while I might do 2 sessions on one day I should never miss a day or change the order". Yes, I had to tell myself that even it if's called "challenge" it's supposed to be fun and I can use those videos just as I like!

TDT is a great one. I finished the Chopra book yesterday which is a bit difficult to review. Basically it's all about consciousness, also while eating. It connects two rule sets, one about food and one about leading your life which I so far kept seperate, and surprisingly they work so well together. Thanks to Singer I had already started naming my feelings, i.e. when I'm sad, looking deeper into it and saying "I'm sad because I feel lonely and need a hug". Today I used it when sudden food craving (and real feeling of hunger) set in during work. I told myself "you can't be hungry again, what's really the matter?". And the matter was that I needed some more information on a task I just got, and having to ask for it made me feel stupid. So I said "And a banana would help in what way exactly"? And at once the food craving was gone (it actually seemed ridiculous) and I went to ask my (very helpful) colleague for the missing information.
It's not just eating, it's also about other procrastination activities. I feel helpless with a task, so I'll do something else instead of trying to get the obstacle out of the way quickly.

This whole week now, despite the difficult work situation, I've been feeling great. Better than I remember having felt in many years. I don't sleep much, but my energy is quite high. Usually I start worrying (how long will it last?) or looking for some meaning behind it (the universe/ god wants me to feel good because...). Yesterday, 3rd day in a row with many happy moments, I thought "why should it end? And if it ends, why should I worry now and make it end sooner?".
Seems I'm finally learning the things which are most self-evident.

*****
Reading: I now read two chapters of my Stephen Leacock, Sunshine Sketches, for the CAC and start loving it! So pleasant and easy and funny! Another author I would never ever got to without LT.

>26 Deern: Wow, that is great, this way your "hunger" makes you find the answers!
And it makes me happy to read you are feeling great :-D

Glad you're feeling good. Sounds like you are working hard for that feeling. The Leacock seems to be going down well from the threads I've read. I decided to give him a miss but have enjoyed the other Canadian authors I've read for the challenge so far a lot.

Have a happy weekend.

>29 DianaNL: Today I feel just like that happy dog, can't stop grinning! :D
Thank you and happy weekend to you, Diana!

>27 FAMeulstee: Yes, and fascinating that suddenly a piece of pizza doesn't seem like a solution anymore. I might still eat it though. :)

>28 charl08: Working hard - oh, yes I did. All those books and challenges... And this week suddenly nothing feels like hard work at all. 5th day now and still geeling great. :)

***
Just back from my lunch with my friend Astrid who's off to Myanmar and then Thailand (another one, those 2 countries are super popular right now) with her daughter/my yoga teacher Marion this weekend. We had vegetarian arancini (fried rice balls) and a slice of pizza at a new Sicilian deli and then coffee at Sarah's bar. I wanted to bring my thrown out books to the library first, but called them in advance and learned they only take in English books anymore. So this weekend I'll divide the books by language. I can still use their giveaway basket for German and Italian books, but have to bring them in small portions.
Tomorrow I might go on a day trip with some volunteers and refugees to Bressanone, a more Northern town, to visit a co-operative. We'll also have a guided city tour, get lunch and will do bowling. I don't really want to go, I don't like Bressanone very much although it's a nice old town. But I was invited twice, so maybe I should.

I read almost nothing this week and if I go on that trip tomorrow, I'll be very busy with house tasks on Sunday. And February is already (quite) half over... I'll mainly continue with the Leacock now because the Ferrante doesn't want to be read in 5 minute units.

Aaah Ha! Here you are! Yes, I somehow unstarred you. :0( But now, all is set right :0) So, happy new thread! I hope tomorrows trip (if you choose to go) is both productive and fun. Safe travels!!

BTW: You know I just had to Google Bressanone, didn't you? What an adorable city. Oh, and the mountains in the distance. Incredible!

Just a thought, but do the refugees have a bookshelf?
Have a lovely weekend. I just picked up one of the new Maigret translations, so a bit of a time travelling treat for me.

>31 Carmenere: It is a lovely city, but for me it always had a cold atmosphere, no idea why. Well, I might change my opinion tomorrow. :)

>32 charl08: They have, but I fear none of them reads. They already have many books, but I never saw anyone reading. There are also books in French and English which some of them speak quite well. But there are many who just speak that 2nd language and didn't do alphabetization(?) in Latin writing in their schools, only arabic. Some didn't go to school at all. It is a big challenge for all the voluntary language teachers who normally deal with students who can read and write in Latin characters.
I still haven't read a Maigret, shame on me!
A lovely weekend to you, too! :)

>30 Deern: I can recommend Thailand (by very recent personal experience) for the recharging of batteries and, away from the frankly disgusting and in your face sex tourism areas, it is a charming and friendly place. Not able to say the same about Myanmar which remains one of the most repressive regimes on the planet and which is still engaged in ethnic cleansing an unwanted part of its population.

Good luck with your trip tomorrow. Your active example is a great and inspiring one.

Nathalie, you're really stepping up! Enjoy the weekend!
(I love the banana story!)

I also loved the banana procrastination story. I think I do that too.

Happy Valentine's Day, Nathalie!

Happy Valentine's Day, Corgi style.

Glad to see that you have been feeling great this past week!

Happy Valentine's Day Nathalie!

Just stopping by and wishing you a great start into the new week, Nathalie. No skiing so far due to the bad weather. But I don't mind, I get enough reading time now.

*sigh* no LT since Friday... and I thought I might remember that last week as "that one week when I read only 30 pages", but I fear there are more weeks of that kind to come.

Thank you for visiting, Paul, Peggy, Lucy, Mamie, Lucy again with corgi!!, Lori, Rachel, Barbara!
And thank you so much for the LOVELY Valentine's Day wishes!! Is this the first year we're doing this on LT? I don't think anyone has ever wished me a Happy Valentine's, I'm totally moved!! I hope yours was wonderful, and I thank you for reminding me that that day is about love and not so much about romance!

Had a great Saturday - went to Bressanone and it was just wonderful, we had so much fun, also during the bowling. I was relieved that we didn't play in teams against each other, as I'm the worst player you can imagine. I was totally exhausted when I got back home - everyone was, as we had spent much time outside walking.
The greatest bit was the language mix. They now all speak basic Italian (or communicate in English), some are also learning German and they're keen to teach us also some words of their languages. I got a little list of mandinka words now, and for the first time it wasn't like doing "something social", but like being among equals, among friends.

Sunday however was the day when my streak of good energy ended. I was tired and felt low. I'd had a difficult discussion with my parents (refugees, my mum was SO aggressive), and then Valentine's day isn't great either when the one you still have in your heart spends it with the woman he left you for. Probably, I don't know anything. He's wise enough not to cross my path.
We never actually spent that day together (I never in my life had a "romantic" VD), but still I felt sad and lonely yesterday. I did about 2 hours of yoga and some extra meditation, took a bath with some oil smelling of roses, ate nice food, but it all didn't get me back into my happy mood. At least I got my weekend task done, cleared my desk at home by putting away all the bills and statements of the last months.

Today was okay. It'll be a very stressful work week again, and I had moments of anxiety, but I managed not to loose my nerves, centered myself, took a couple of deep breaths and worked on. Even had some happy moments again. It's not lost, I just have to activate it again. :)

Got the 2nd Ferrante as audio book now and listened a bit during work. #3 and 4 aren't available in Italian.

Peace to you, Nathalie! I hope that the work week smooths itself out for you.
So glad that the Saturday was good. You can't be the worst bowler in the world. I hold that distinction. The last time I bowled, I bowled - for the whole game, mind you - a great total score of 8. Beat that!

Ten hours of excel spreadsheets? I can only imagine the eye strain. Good for you for taking a long lunch, with no guilt. I'm working on that as well. After years of giving, giving, giving, at 63, I am starting to look at what is best for me..and I'm doing so without feeling selfish.

Take care. It sounds like you had a god time bowling.

Welcome Home, Nathalie! I'm glad, for the most part, the weekend was a success. LOL I've been married 22 years and I'm STILL waiting for a romantic Valentine's Day.

Happy New thread, Nathalie. Sorry you had a bad day. I hope your work week goes well. Never forget what wonderful work you are doing with the refugees. Kudos to you.

>43 LizzieD: Haha, believe it or not, we'd give each other a "run" (standstill) for last place I guess! :)
There was one older guy from Pakistan who had never bowled before and he threw almost all 8s and 9s until he got tired. Just wondering - real bowling has 10 pins, hasn't it? So this was more like the German ninepins, but with bowling balls (the ninepins balls have no holes). Anyway, it was fun!

>44 Whisper1: Yesterday it was 11 hrs of work without break. Yes, very bad for eyes, shoulders and neck. But at least I make progress in concentrating on one thing at a time only instead of multitasking all the time. When my boss gave me a new urgent task yesterday I told him that means the other 3 tasks will have to wait or he'll have to re-prioritize.
Kudos for your own progress, dear Linda. Take care as well!!

>45 Carmenere: Well, I'm not at all romantic in the movie sense. I'd probably be totally annoyed if a guy booked some special VD treat, as they're over-priced and standardized.* But a flower (or chocolate) would be welcome.
*In 2012 I went for a weekend with ex-guy near Bologna, it was a package-trip he'd got for a birthday. We found ourselves sitting in an old barrel "bath tub" filled with lukewarm water and red wine - and some old remains of grapes. At least I hope that's what it was. We each got a glass of wine along with that "romantic experience" and I think all we talked about was the nice hot shower we'd take once they'd get us out again. :)

>46 vancouverdeb: I let the stress get to me. Did some things yesterday to make it better. Thank you for the kudos and reminding me that not all was bad!! :)

DT update:

So Saturday of course was filled with Different Things.

My DT on Sunday was telling my friend/landlady Chrystle off twice on the phone, sth I've never done before. Once for screaming into the phone whenever she screams at her dog (which she's doing all the time and it makes those phone calls super-stressful), and once for being always terribly insulting about things that are none of her business, like telling me how much she hates Sicily when I tell her someone travels there. Interestingly that’s a characteristic she hates in others – and really hates those others for it. I know I have it deeply buried in my soul as well, but at least I’m aware of it and am trying to improve, with some success I guess. She’s a Buddhist and a yogi with a surprisingly low tolerance for most other people.

YTD was not giving in to my anxieties, but staying on top of things despite all the stress. And another DT: when I realized most of my issues on Sunday had been caused by that phone call, I called my parents again and told them what I need from them during their visit. And that is mainly understanding if I can’t go out to have dinner with them every night because my days now usually start around 4am and when I return home I’m half-asleep already. They can go, but if I need a night in, I’ll have it. And I’ll go to yoga class and to my service during their stay as well. It can’t be that I fall out of my good energy streak because I fear I’ll have to bend to all of their wishes while they’re here. (this is the first time both of them will be at my place and not in a hotel while I work full time).

#42 I recently took 18 7/8 year old girls on a bowling birthday party. I am willing to bet good money (or good books!) that you are not the worst bowler I could now imagine...

Hope you get a break at work soon.

Hi Nathalie! Hope your Friday is going well and Wishing you a wonderful weekend!

I'm another shocking bowler Nathalie!

Hope the yoga is going well and that you have a good and relaxing weekend.

I've been getting carried away looking at the lists of booka eligible for the women's fiction prize this year. So many intriguing looking books!

Thinking about you! In the US I think the day has widened in scope and that while, yes, it has a romantic underpinning, it is also a day to say something friendly or loving to friends and family. My mother (with seven children) always found funny and appropriate cards for all of us. And children generally draw or give a card to their parents. In this household mainly the pets give us cards . . . I don't know how they do it! But they are quite brilliant that way. Anyhow I feel very aware, from various life experiences, that some of these holidays can be difficult for those with, say, no mother or father, or no partner, or simply no one to celebrate a particular holiday with. During the years when I had so many miscarriages I had to crawl in a hole and hide on Mother's day. (And I think my husband hated Father's Day). And I got very weary of the fuss at Christmas during that time too. I still feel very careful and a little wary of those days.

Waah – what a week! I worked 11 hours on most days and didn’t read a thing (book or LT) neither in the office nor later at home. My eyes were so relieved every time they could relax from all the screen-staring. I slept more and did a bit less yoga because I woke up at 5 instead of 4 am which I guess is good. Still I managed about an hour of yoga and meditation every day.
I still read/listened to about 30% of the 2nd Ferrante this week, usually in the early mornings while brushing my teeth and doing my hair. And that was all. If I don’t make much progress in the weekend (which should be busy again) I’ll end this week without having a book finished. And the one book I finished last week had only 25 pages left, so you get an idea of my February. No Dalrymple, no Leacock this week. But I record the daily Poirot episode on Sky and watch it in the evening or when I wake up in the night, so at least I’m in the BAC theme.

Energy is lower than last week, but not bad as it has been. I hope I'll be able to recharge a bit over the Weekend.

My DTs:
Tuesday: I had the afternoon off because my therapist had arranged a special appointment to “confront the trauma of being abandoned”. She said it would be better if I didn’t have to return to work afterwards. I was scared like hell – and then she didn’t turn up, because she had forgotten the appointment!!! Well, instead of feeling what? Abandoned? Forgotten? Hurt? I was relieved. Already when she was 5 mins late I thought “maybe the universe/God/TPTB don’t want me to go that deep after that great last week”, so in the end I was totally content with her not turning up. I did some shopping, visited my friend Sarah in her bar and went home to sleep because I had a terrible headache that day.

Wednesday: I meditated in the office during my very short lunch break. I closed the door, sat on the floor and did the Wednesday meditation from the Chopra book which I just notice I never reviewed. Still had a the headache, but went to the refugees and sat with one of them who’s just learning to read, helping him with some easy texts. It is so wonderful seeing someone read who has never been to a school!!

Thursday: I don’t think I did anything new yesterday. I worked almost 12 hours, meditated again for 10 mins, did 4 short Erin Motz yoga sessions at home to calm down again before sleeping. The last session was yoga for a better sleep and it worked well. Ate too much, I still do that, but I’m now doing it consciously. Is that a progress? :D

Today: I started re-organizing my work. I need to automatize as much as possible as soon as possible and I took the first steps. I got kudos from my IT colleague, which was important, because normally there’s never any positive feedback.

Yikes. I hope that you have a relaxing weekend, Nathalie.

>49 BekkaJo: When we did the Bowling, the other 3 lanes were also booked for a kid's bday party. I'm so glad that wasn't done yet when I was young. They were all SO competitive! But they had delicious looking cakes as well. :)

>50 DianaNL: Now this is really inspiring, what a strong little guy!!! Thank you and a happy weekend to you, Diana!

>51 Carmenere: Thank you Lynda, the same to you!
Tonight I'll do day 30 of the doyouyoga, already redid several sessions, especially abs, core and wrists. Did I mention I love it? :)

>52 charl08: Oh dear, I better don't look at that list at all... I Need more reading time again!
A very happy weekend to you, Charlotte - I hope I'll manage to visit your thread.

>53 sibylline: Aaaaw - cards from the pets? I love that idea!! (our cocker spaniel certainly would rather have eaten the card before giving it to us/dropping it at our feet).
Yes, there are holidays that seem to blatantly say "see - something's not right with you" and I hate that. Mother's and Father's day if you want kids and they just don't come, VD with a broken heart, Christmas without a family... when it's not your own decision it's hard to get through those days. I had a really hard time with the last year-end as well.
We should build an international holiday network, to feel less alone on such occasions. Sending you lots of weekend hugs!!

>55 kidzdoc: Darryl - another friend with whose threads I'll never catch up again I fear. :/
Thank you, and a good weekend to you as well. Don't know if you work, but I hope it will be as relaxing as possible.

>57 Deern: Thanks, Nathalie. I am working this weekend, but I've been off from work for the past four days, so all is well.

I hope you have a relaxing weekend, Nathalie. You deserve it.

>54 Deern: Except for no reading time & too much work hours, it sounds as a good week, Nathalie :-)
And hooray for helping refugees learning to read & positive feedback at the office!

Hi Nathalie... it's too late to wish you a Happy New Thread I guess, but I've taken some time to catch up with you, which is something. Sounds like you're packing a lot into each and every day... no wonder you're feeling tired! I rather admire you, because I don't have nearly enough energy to tackle everything you do. Every time I visit you I'm reminded I really need to take up exercise again. I start doing it and then I don't know, I get a backache or something and then it takes me MONTHS to work up the enthusiasm to do it again. And meditation: I've been meaning to give a try for a long time because the little bit I did during yoga sessions, say when lying in corpse pose and letting the mind go felt SO good, and would probably help ease the migraines. Why is it so hard to take up things that are good for me? I'm not actively self-destructive anymore as I was from my teenage years into my late 30s, but apathy seems to be the thing these days. Ah well. At least I have some kind of aspirations for bettering myself, which is something. Better than nothing.

Valentine's has always been awkward for me. I've spend it very much alone most years, and now I'm with Pierre it's still awkward for different reasons. We have more of a companionable relationship than anything else, so romance is certainly not a strong element especially since we're both rather cynical about it. We care a lot about each other, but suddenly having this exterior pressure to express it... not right. I was going to send him an electronic card from Hallmark to use up my membership, but couldn't find one that struck the right note. Some of the funny ones might have been ok, but they all ended on a bad note like : "you may not be perfect, but you're perfect for me". Why say to someone 'you're not perfect'?? Of course they aren't, nobody is, but I don't see it as a nice thing, and whenever I can, instead of saying something unpleasant (if it's not helping the conversation or relationship), I'd rather say nothing, so I didn't send anything. He gave me a budget to get myself some books (which I spent on an Audible sale) and we had a nice dinner, but the same nice kind of very casual and tasty dinner we'd have any day. He brought me some white roses, which he loves and I just tolerate, but as it was one of the coldest days we've had this year, they were pretty much dead on arrival. So that was our 'romantic' Valentines. I consider we have a good relationship, so I think it's telling that Valentine's essentially means nothing to us.

Was that a rant? Sorry if it sounded like one. I hope you have a relaxing weekend. xx

Hi Nathalie, I'm sorry your reading life - and possibly your eyes - are being diminished because of work. Eating healthy foods, getting exercise, and spending time with others are at least helping you get through these busy days. And I'm glad you aren't throwing away your books, but I really didn't think anyone on LT would do that.

Thank you so much for the detailed explanation on dialect in the Ferrante books. I'm finished with the Neapolitan novels but may check out some of her other books. Have a relaxing Sunday, my friend.

11 or 12 hours of work every day is TOO MUCH!!!!
Take care of yourself!!!!!
I'm happy for a lot of the good decisions you're making and enjoying the process.
I guess I'd be thrilled with flowers or candy or a night out on Valentine's, but none of that is necessary. A sweet hug and kiss are a gracious plenty for an old married couple, or at least for this old married couple

Don't worry about the thread visiting - sounds like you need as much time away from the computer screen as possible.

Hope that things calm down a bit at work. Your long lunch with your friend was just the thing in the right direction. Amazing what a good conversation with a friend can do.

Agreeing with all - 11/12 hours is too much!! take care of yourself hun.

Sounds like you had a really busy week! I'm glad that you felt relieved rather than angry and abandoned when your therapist forgot your appointment. I would have been pretty frustrated. Good luck with the new week. I hope you get a lot more reading done. :)

Oh, so many visitors! :D
Thank you for posting, I'll answer later today, now I'm copying what I wrote in word earlier incl. 2 reviews.

I had a very uncommunicative weekend and I apologize for not having caught up on threads as I had planned. I guess I just had to recharge my batteries in solitude. In RL I had agreed much earlier to meet 3 of my friends (one by one, so the weekend would have been busy), but as they didn’t call me as if they knew meeting them would mean stress for me right now, I didn’t call them either and was glad I could stay in and not talk. Okay, so I went to the hairdresser on Saturday and had lunch in town and yesterday forced myself out of the door and to the very good show “Female gestures” in our small modern art museum, but none of those activities required much interaction with others.

I cleared and cleaned my freezer, so now my kitchen is ready for inspection by my mum next week! :) 
I signed up to the doyouyoga website and am now paying a monthly fee because I’d like to do some of the longer intermediate level classes. And I finished my week of Deepak Chopra meditations which were okay but they didn’t really convince me on the food level (see review).

I have no idea what DT I did on Saturday (I did lots of things but nothing new), but yesterday at a point where my energies turned negative I got out my 2 year old paint and brushes and painted over one of the horrible things I had produced 2 years ago when I had tried a painting class. I didn’t even sit down, I just painted over it with some mix of a dark blue and violet and then threw some turquoise on it, some red and some little yellow accents. The whole process took about 20 minutes and I didn’t even sit down for it. When I looked at it, I saw something in it that expressed that negative energy and felt better. No, I certainly won’t post it. :D

It was clearly influenced by my museum visit and by my read of Storia del nuovo cognome and I partly blame that book for my general mood this weekend. I don’t know if this is really a series of “books finding me” or if I let myself influence too much by them, take them too personally. Reading this series for me is also much self-work, and what Ferrante did totally fascinates me.

Yesterday, while sitting on a bench near the river and half-reading Ferrante and half-having the Chopra book and the meditations in my head I thought that eating is really just another one of the many self-paralyzing activities in my life (and doubtlessly for many other people as well). It calms us down to the point where our impatience and our creative energies we once had and which are still there hidden inside of us are numbed down because our body is busy with digesting and sends us the “calming drugs” from the bad foods. I was wondering, not for the first time, who is that other person inside of me who I don’t want to let out because people might not like her, and that was the point when I fully understood what Ferrante is doing with Lenù and Lila. Really, I felt so humble re. Ferrante, I could have fallen on my knees right there and then. 

13. Wonach wir wirklich hungern by Deepak Chopra (What Are You Hungry For?)

I have mixed feelings about this book. I loved the second part about “general consciousness” and the need to find creativity in our lives to fill the void we’re otherwise likely to fill with food. When he writes about self-love I liked that part where he says we should become the person we want to love instead of looking for that “other half” that will make us complete.

The first part concentrates on “food behavior”, i.e. how to improve our eating habits in order not to eat for emotional reasons all the time. Nothing of that was new to me, and I still find it unrealistic to rate my feeling of hunger from 1-10 and to stop eating when half-full. DC admits he was a stress-eater, so he ate without thinking when stressed, not because he felt lonely, unloved or anything like that. His own problems could quite easily be solved when he got used to regular meal times and 5 mins of meditation before a meal, and he’s honest enough to say it is much harder to get the other type of emotional eating under control. You’ll really need a creative substitute action that gives you the same satisfaction, and before you have found that, your hunger might always feel like a 10.

I did the 7 day meditation last week, and while it did me good, I didn’t get the connection to eating habits, and maybe I don’t need to. The part about ayurvedic food is quite interesting (not new to me either, but nicely presented) and I didn’t feel like trying any of the recipes in the third part.

Btw. this is a book I bought over a year ago and had on my bedside table. As I have been sleeping on the couch since my return from hospital (exactly a year ago today!!) I forgot it until I cleared out the bedroom recently. So I guess I was ready now for that 2nd part.

Rating: 3.8 stars

14. Storia del nuovo cognome by Elena Ferrante (The Story of a New Name)

I’m unable to write this review without spoilers, so please don’t read if you’re planning to read the series yourself.

I didn’t read any official reviews of this series and so I don’t know if my interpretation is correct, but this second book confirmed what I felt on the first pages of book one. For me (!) Lenù and Lila are one and the same person split into two to act in totally different ways. They are a genial thought experiment!

I believe that Ferrante is/was (most of the time) Lenù. You can’t write Lenù's adolescence as she did if you haven’t experienced all those insecurities, especially those relating to an uncontrollable body. Someone like Lenù, who very much reminds me of myself, will live a solitary childhood feeling out of place, despite having friends. Friends are there because she learned to adapt her behavior, to say what is expected of her, not because she really is one of the group. She will of course fall in love with her narcissistic counterpart (Nino) from whom she expects completeness and “salvation” although everyone can see she’ll never find that in him, that his own incompleteness might instead destroy her - or bore her to death because they're too similar. As long as people like Lenù don’t learn to find that loving mirror in themselves that they so desperately search for in others, they will remain unable to be content and to feel self-worth. As children they might invent a perfect friend and have endless discussions with that imaginary friend in their heads. I imagined a twin sister btw. :)But it’s not the same as someone real, someone from outside who can really light that candle and give them a new idea about themselves, and if just for a short time.

So Ferrante invented for Lenù another solitary, intelligent and ambitous child of the same age. The cute blonde one and the mean dark one. The obedient one and the one who throws stones at boys. She let them become friends and go to elementary school together, let them create together, melted them into one mind – almost. Then she split them and let them act antithetically. Lenù is allowed to continue school, Lila isn’t. Lila is erratic while Lenù studies with an exaggerated seriousness. Lila turns pretty when Lenù loses her looks and vice versa. Lenù wants the boy, Lila goes and takes him. Lenù flees Napoli, Lila is stuck there forever. Lenù is poorest when Lila is wealthy and when Lenù finally earns money, Lila is lost in poverty. Lenù’s creativity is at full bloom (thanks to Lila rooted in her) when Lila burns “the blue fairy”. And interesting as well: Lila is empathic and generous and honest to a point where she hurts people, Lenù is egocentric and tries to manipulate others into doing things for her while hiding her motives, like the Ischia holiday (most of the time). They are alternately attached to each other, when one of them needs more closeness, the other one will draw away. Only in creative moments will they melt into one being again – when working on the painting together, when Lenù writes the book using the Lila roots in her. In that respect this is also a perfect narcissistic relationship, without the extra-destructive romantic aspect (Nino).

My suspicion is that Lila will disappear the moment when a mature Lenù has grown so much that she fully incorporates the characteristics she admires in Lila, when she accepts and welcomes the Lila in herself.

The books make you ask yorurself "what would my other side have turned out like - would s/he be richer and happier than I am or would s/he live under a bridge"?

Aside from the psychological aspects of the book, it is of course a fantastic time witness. Napoli is what it is. Stuck and unable to get out of the swamp. I saw it for one day last year, and while I enjoyed the visit, it felt dead – while giving fake signs of life (all the cars, the clacsons, the screaming people, the food, the shops). You leave or you drown is Ferrante’s message. The future happens elsewhere.

Then there’s the issue of divorce. I learned from my landlady who’s been living in Italy since the 60s that in the 70s a woman would still go into prison for cheating on her husband while he didn’t have to fear any persecution. Until last year, you needed a notarially certified separation of 3 years minimum to get a divorce. This means you had to go to a notary, declare your will to separate, pay some money and then wait for three years. The question of fault is still not abolished. I think divorce generally wasn’t allowed until well into the 70s, so that might explain Lila’s difficulties to walk out from Stefano and why her family keeps out of it (and why Lenù believes that Lila’s married state would discourage Nino).

Rating: as a book in a normal series - 4.5 stars because it's a transitional book with some lengths. As part of the experiment: 5 stars

>54 Deern: >61 Smiler69:

Stresses and loneliness are afflictions to many of us. As we get beyond a certain age companionship takes over much of the ground abandoned by physicality although the mind and the body more than I would care to admit serves to confuse each other as to the needs and intentions of the other.

Valentines Day used to be a landmark to express feelings of love, but I am now in a place where I have to express those feelings more regularly than annually.

You are very brave Nathalie confronting what are, for you, clearly demons on a luciferan scale. I personally believe that you will get comfort and clarity from airing some of your feelings here as I know when I have done so it has helped me. xx

>58 kidzdoc: Sorry I didn’t make it to your thread yet, Darryl. Have a good week!

>59 Ameise1: Thank you Barbara – a very happy week to you! 

>60 FAMeulstee: Yes, it was altogether a good week, and the new interaction with the refugees gives me an idea what integration really means. I was, like most other people, always scared of things/people “different”, but I never developed hate out of my fear. I took small steps last year and now I realize that opening up to other things and to people with a totally different cultural and religious background will help you forward as well. The original idea might have been to help others to feel at home in Merano, but they’ll give you something in return and you’ll both grow. I know it’s self-evident for most people, but as someone who was in hiding most of my life this is a fascinating experience.

>61 Smiler69: Hi Ilana, thanks for that long post that was no rant! 
Let me start with the yoga and meditation: I don’t know about you, but for me those challenges work very well I noticed. For years, I tried books, magazines, and DVDs but that never had the same effect. I saw last year with that 21-day self-forgiveness program that I like making room for something during my free time for a defined number of days and now I notice the net is full with yoga challenges. Those classes Lynda recommended are quite short, though not for total newbies I’d say. I now did the 30-day yoga challenge, the 14-day power yoga (which has units of 7-9 minutes so I did many in a row) and half of a 30-day meditation challenge. I love getting badges for completing things. :)
I restarted my yoga routine on Jan 5th and started getting the good results like better posture and better energy about 10 days in. Now after 6 weeks I really walk and even sit differently, more upright, because the stomach muscles are stronger. The first days however it all hurt and I was impatient with myself. Reading the comments on YT helped, I felt less alone.

Why is it so hard to take up things that are good for me?
That’s a good question and please tell me when you find the answer to that. I’m doing well on the yoga front, but SO badly in other areas, like the whole self-love thing and the courage to be wildly creative. I feel that's why I suppress my creativity - because it would not be nice and disciplined. :))

Coming back to the yoga: hey – maybe we can do one of those shorter and free challenges together and exchange experiences? Not necessarily now, when you’re ready to. It might be fun!

Your relationship with Pierre sounds wonderful and inspiring, I am very happy for you! I understand about the cards, imo “perfect” is a word that best shouldn’t be used in any context, but certainly not together with “love”. Talk about romantic pressure… if someone told me that I’m perfect for him I’d probably run. 

The almost dead white roses made me smile, that’s just lovely.

>62 Donna828: A happy week to you, Donna! I wish I was able to eat a bit LESS of those healthy foods.. :/

>63 LizzieD: Aaaaw… a sweet hug and a kiss sound more romantic than any chocolate box! :)

>64 charl08: Thank you Charlotte, I will eventually catch up when I find the time. I’ll have many lunch breaks when my parents are here next week and I guess it’ll be good for me.

>65 BekkaJo: I paid with red eyes on Saturday. I tried on a lovely red and white jacket in a boutique and was shocked how it brought the red of my eyes out. At least the woman said "it goes well with your pale skin" and not "with your red eyes". Still bought the jacket. And a blouse for spring. And a short jeans dress. Hmpf.. :)

>66 The_Hibernator: Actually I thought it had a funny side (and I guess seeing it like that counts as progress). The issue is being unloved and abandoned and there she leaves the office and totally forgets about me. It was like an exercise! :D
Happy week to you, too!

>70 PaulCranswick: Thank you for those lovely words, Paul. Sending you a bunch of {{{hugs}}}.

>69 Deern: I love your theory about this book, Nathalie, and what it makes you ask yourself. This will give me an entirely new angle on it when I read book #3 next month.

Yesterday I was at a baroque music concert and at one point I noticed a man sitting in front of me had a copy of the first book under his chair. At the intermission, he pulled out the book to read, and was immediately surrounded by the other people in his group all chatting in an animated fashion about what they thought of the book. This was a group of older people, probably in their 70s and, except for this gentleman, all women. I enjoyed eavesdropping on them. And it made me happy to see people at a somewhat advanced age engaging in bookish discussion.

Wow! You can't imagine how happy I am that Doyouyoga is really working out for you!! I've become more conscience of my posture as well and having discovered how important the core is to our well being (strength and balance) it's all the incentive I need.
I've really got to put Ferrante on my reading list!

>72 lauralkeet: I went to a bookshop on Saturday to get the complete series for my parents because it is so great and learned that IT HASN'T BEEN TRANSLATED YET! (Are the German publishing houses sleeping??) And the bookstore owner, a local, which means a German speaking Italian, hadn't read them yet, just knew he stocked the English and Italian editions. I am always totally surprised about the cultural ignorance of most people here as soon as something concerns the other language group. They just don't read the other group's books, papers, watch their TV channels or movies. The second language is a mere necessity, nothing enjoyable.

Love that story about the old man. I still try to educate my parents into readers which I hope would also make them a bit more open-minded, but I fear it's too late.

>73 Carmenere: Yes, it's all about "the core", isn't it? Years of half-hearted yoga and pilates and only now I really believe in it. I like DYY because they explain poses in a similar way as my teacher, so I trust them. And they don't do the "... do this easy pose for 5 seconds and if it's too hard use a cushion and now switch into side-crow/one-legged wheel/ headstand for a minute" as my app does constantly. The app also ordered me to keep in chair for a minute, then 1 min twisted chair right, then 1 min chair with right hand on the floor, then chair again and then all on the left side - I was screaming at the app at 5am which didn't help of course. :)

Bowling! I love bowling. I am no good at it but I have had a lot of fun whenever I have gone bowling. Sadly, the only bowling alley is a bit if a drive to get to so i haven't gone bowling for a number of years.

Sorry to see that your work week was a long one (11 hours days, yikes!). No wonder your energy was lower than the previous week.

I hope this week is an easier one for you Nathalie.

I carefully passed over your comments on the Ferrante, since I hope to start reading them soon - (first I must finish the 5 book series by Elizabeth Jane Howard. So I can't say much, can I? Except that I do admire your openess to new ideas!

>75 lkernagh: Well, I don't hate it, but I prefer playing it when I'm not in a team that loses because of me. We played "horserace" that day, so each for themselves, and I was a happy loser! :)

>76 sibylline: Thank you Lucy! The Ferrante has become a bit like a fever in my head. I should read more non-fiction after that series, or harmless "murder in a mansion" mysteries, to get a fresh distance to fiction. But I still hope it's all part of the "books will find you" game.

****

Did several DTs on Monday, so the Saturday is balanced out. Went to RL yoga class where the substitute teacher did Yin Yoga, quite a new experience. You hold positions longer and breath more deeply. Very calm, very relaxing and yet intense. Nothing for every day, but in between the more dynamic DYY sessions it was great.
Another Monday DT: I know music is an important part in the lives of most of you. For me, it isn't. I switch the radio on in the morning, but hardly ever listen, and I watch the San Remo Festival in early Feb every year, but more to have sth to discuss with my Italian colleagues, it's a big part of culture here. Well, yesterday I bought my first Italian CD by a singer whose voice I really enjoy, I turn the radio louder when I hear her. She's Malika Ayane, and last year she won third place in San Remo with the heartbreakingly beautiful song "Adesso e qui".

DT yesterday: I almost collapsed with my work, but then didn't. I had worked through the 2 lunch hours and was close to crying towards evening because I didn't see any progress, I felt sick to my stomach with anxiety. And then at 6pm I just left, because I thought that was what I needed.
Still felt like crying, but did another 30 mins of yoga instead. Fell asleep like a stone for good 8 hours and today everything was better again. :)

Today I sent the cv of one of the refugees to the organic farm we had visited in December, and while searching the net for the e-mail address I found an article about our visit with a picture. I hope I can post it here, but it was in the local Italian newspaper obviously, so I shouldn't hurt anyone's privacy:



Can I say that I believe I look better now? Okay, we all look better now! :)
Btw that was December, and it has been as sunny and warm through most of "winter".

****
I have a project in my head that might steal even more of my reading time in the near future. It grew when I started thinking about the new appt, the furniture and the colors. I really want something different that allows me to use the space well, but also to realize some old dreams, like the loft bed thing. What I love about the new place is that the owners give me almost total freedom "as long as they can let it again when I leave".
So I opened my mind for new ideas as wide as I could and something different came flying in (which reminds me of the Elizabeth Gilmore theory of ideas flying around looking for a host). I have no art education at all and except for a acrylic painting class 2 years ago (which was terrible) didn't touch paint/brushes since I left School, so the results might be just messy and ugly. But now suddenly all those ideas are popping up to process that failed relationship and my development since and it's quite fascinating, because usually those things want out by way of writing, but not this time. I tried to write x times, but nothing came to me. Instead I really feel like I want to get my hands dirty with color and glue. Even thinking of photography and already contacted a trusted friend to discuss it after her holiday. Am I crazy?

Nathalie, please don't get mad about work. It's the best thing you could do, shut the door of the office. You should do this more frequently. Nobody says thank you when you work like a berserk and feeling awful. Take care of yourself.

I agree re leaving the office at a reasonable time. All the stuff I've ever read about productivity says that it declines the longer you're in the building.

The artistic decorating ideas sound fun, not crazy. Will you be painting direct onto the walls, or canvas or using photography or something else? I want to enlarge and frame some landscape pictures from various travels. Also book covers (copies, don't freak out everyone about plans to damage books!).

> 77 YOU LOOK BETTER???? I knew you were gorgeous, but really, Nathalie, that's so pretty!
What fun about the apartment! My talents don't lie that way (definitely music for me), but DH painted a scene on the wall in our dining room 30 or so years ago. ("I've always wanted to paint on that wall," he said, this being the house where he grew up.) We enjoyed it for years and then covered it with a lovely piece of wood that he carved a simple panel into. It's still there --- tee hee! I say go for it and enjoy!

>80 LizzieD: Well, my fringe hadn't grown out yet, so I had to wear that unfortunate side parting that makes me look much like my grandfather. But as you all don't know him, you can't see his face in that pic. And the guys (most of them) have much better clothes now. It's still all donations, but they have more to chose from and many have a real talent for cool dressing. :)

>79 charl08: Actually thinking about just taking the afternoon off today, with the most urgent things now finished. Those body signals weren't great (and I already eat healthily and do anti-stress stuff), and with 45 you should start listening to them.

>79 charl08: The rooms are small, so I'll experiment with the wall colors a bit on 1-2 walls per room and probably not up to the ceiling. I also want to paint some shelves and a table and work a bit with easily exchangeable textiles in addition. The "project" is a different thing and that will be canvas (I guess).
I never had anything personal on my walls - believe it or not. No family or holiday pics (though I LOVE to see it elsewhere), instead I have many frames with those postcards with Penguin covers. Because book shelves aren't enough, I need books on my walls as well (like you it seems).

Hi Nathalie'! Love the pic. You're just as cute as can be and looking so happy!

Yeah for trying a new yoga method!

Go with your gut feeling concerning your apartment. That and what makes you happy and feel good!

>82 Carmenere: thank you - I was very happy there and then, it was a great event.

I love all the classes and challenges DYY offers. Am now doing a 14 day "yoga shred" challenge with short (less than15 mins) but demanding fat-burning units. Did day 2/ core today and it was fantastic. Then I started the power yoga modules that have nice energizing flows of about 20 mins and I'll slowly work my way through all the Erin Motz classes. About 20 mins as well ans so far mainly relaxing/ stretching with much breathing and longer staying in the poses. Then I continue doing the (10 mins) 30 days meditation challenge, but that's not a favorite. I continue because I want to earn that badge. So that's an hour altogether.
There are also modules where you just have to listen, like "mindfulness". Started one last night and of course fell asleep after 5 minutes. :))

YDT: took the afternoon off because it was the last chance to have some time on my own before my parents arrive this weekend and because I really needed the rest. Started my "project" by collecting the materials I want to use from my wardrobe and other sources and took photographs of everything, so I'll later remember what I used and why.

Stopping in to catch up with you, Nathalie! I love the photo up there in >77 Deern:. You look so lovely! I like your idea of making your new living space your own and can't wait to hear what you come up with. And I think you were very wise to take the afternoon off today - good thinking! I am wishing for you a happy visit with your parents - how long are they staying?

It is less easy in these days of political correctness to complement a lady without misinterpretation but I must agree with Mamie : >85 Crazymamie: in that you do look lovely and, more importantly, if I may, happy.

Have a wonderful weekend. xx

I agree with Peggy, Lynda, Mamie and Paul; you do look lovely in that photo, Nathalie!

>84 DianaNL: Hi Diana, a belated thank you!! And a happy week to you!

>85 Crazymamie: Hi Mamie, thanks for visiting and the nice Feedback! And sorry I didn't make it to your thread lately. Can I say it should be quieter again by the middle of March?
My parents will stay for 2 weeks, they arrived yesterday.

>86 PaulCranswick: Thank you Paul! It was indeed a happy day!

>87 kidzdoc: Thank you Darryl - everything was great that day, including the weather. I'm wearing a light summer jacker, it was really warm and sunny and all that fresh air and the food...

***

Hi guys, I decided I’ll half-check-out fort he next two weeks. My parents arrived yesterday, so additionally to the work my little free-time will be very, very busy. Today in a week is my dad’s 70th birthday and I have some ideas what to do that day/ the weekend before, but as my mum isn’t feeling well I’m not posting it yet, it feels like it might bring bad luck. I'll report on that later. :)

On Saturday I went to the shopping centre with my two colleagues/ friends Antonella e Romina and we had so much fun! We went to Subway (I don’t like it but they didn’t know it yet and wanted to try it) and then we sat in that food court for several hours talking, really opening up to each other. It was fantastic. And all in Italian, so back home I was quite tired. Started the cleaning and washing marathon and went to bed early without having read a page or having checked into LT. Bought 2 Italian books at the centre and thought that I want to read more contemporary Italian by female authors in the next months, although it might mean sacrificing some challenges here on LT because reading Italian still takes 3 times as long as reading English. Yesterday I got up very early, did my yoga and then cleaned on, also the garage which my dad is using now, my car inside and even the balcony. Made a vegetable lasagna and then fell on the couch, feeling sick from tiredness. We had a nice evening and they loved the lasagna, but then the night was predictably restless - I sleep in the living room which has no door so everytime someone got up I woke up as well. So this morning at 5 when I got up for the yoga I felt like someone had beaten me and got a rough idea how it must be to have a toothing baby. :)

My parents started arguing as soon as they got in, seems my dad has decided if they move here they want to move right HERE, i.e. into my apartment. My mum doesn’t want to, but for him it’s the one and only solution (he’s always been like this). Of course he still hasn’t even tried to put their house on the market, but is ready to additionally pay a high rent from July on. Talked to my landlady today and she said there are already other people interested, so we'll see...

I’m now contacting friends and starting making “appointments” to meet them with my parents so they get a clear idea what the move means. One friend knows much about care for older people, another one knows much about the health system, etc.

Btw. my DT yesterday was to tell my parents that I don't remember a single time in my life when one of them said something really nice about the other one. Seriously, they don't have the slightest respect for each other. *sigh*

So as you see, there won’t be much time for reading or LTing as long as they’re here, and I don’t want to promise to “catch up asap”. If possible I’ll read your threads and post when I have more to say than “hi”, but maybe not – I’m sorry! I hope that if the weekend goes as planned I’ll have a bit online time, but we’ll see.

Happy Feb 29th and Happy Start of March!!

Oh my! You certainly have a lot on your plate but LT will be here when you have the time to relax with us. Stay strong, my friend!

>90 charl08: I will be thinking of you - crumbs, families can be challenging. And to second >89 Carmenere: - no pressure.

I hope your weeks will be filled with good things, Nathalie, despite your arguing parents. Good luck. xx

Oh dear, I hope your Dad changes the idea to move with you in the same flat. You definitely use your own space.

Nathalie, I am keeping you in my thoughts and wishing you well. Remember that we are all here rooting for you.

>89 Carmenere: thank you Lynda - I will! :)

>90 charl08: thank you Charlotte! After talking to my Italian colleagues on Saturday who told me of regular wardrobe inspections by mothers I know how much more challenging families can be...

>91 DianaNL: thank you Diana, I am determined to enjoy the time with them

>92 Ameise1: Hi Barbara - sorry for the misunderstanding - my Dad considers renting the appt when I move out.

Got some minutes this morning, so a quick update: when I came home last night, warm dinner (okay, potatoes and a cold German herb sauce ("Grüne Sauce") they'd bought in a store) were waiting which was very nice. But even after just one day, the place wasn't mine anymore. I had cleaned so much, but everything was sparkling clean, many things weren't in the old place and the smell was different (detergents). My dad had exchanged all broken lightbulbs, so there was also much more light. I'd thought the lamps were broken, I didn't know you're not supposed to touch those little spotlight things with your fingers. Well... My mum had "accidentally found" all kinds of embarrassing things and kept saying that she hadn't been looking around, just opened this and that door because she needed something. I managed not to get angry (YDT checked off) and we had a nice evening with them watching alpine TV and me doing some yoga in the hallway. Had another bad night without any deep sleep, but the sun is shining today, and my body feels better than yesterday.

>93 Crazymamie: Thank you Mamie!! :)

>94 Deern: I'm glad to hear that. I mean, I love to have my father and my in-laws in close vicinity but not in the same house.

>96 Ameise1: Yes - I'd quite like to have them here in Merano now (if they manage to get themselves organized with friends and activities), but in the same house? Please no! :)

During lunch break (salad of blood oranges, green leaves, tofu and bellpepper hoping for an energy boost) I just checked the list of books I had planned for March. I think I'll give a pass to this month's CAC and AAC, but the two BACs I wanted to read are also 1,001 books and I should really continue that Alan Rickman audio now anyway.

So my humble plans for March are:

- finish February's Dalrymple (less than 10% read)
- finish February's Leacock (about 10% read)
==> I love both books and wish I could "unsubscribe from sleeping" (without damage) for a couple of days to be able to read through the nights
- finish book 3 and if possible read book 4 of the Ferrante series that feels like it has become part of my body and soul and makes me so hungry to read more feminist Italian literature
- finish The Return of the Native combined audio and Kindle for March BAC (about 12% read/listened)
- start and finish Ali Smith's The Accidental for March BAC.

That's 6 books of which 4 are started. Any extra book will be a nice surprise. I hope the long Easter weekend will give me some reading time.

Just checking in and wishing you extra patience and good sleep.

Nathalie, if you have some time left today, there's an article on the Pergamon museum in Berlin in the NYT (at least in my international version), which you might also like.

>98 BekkaJo: Thank you Bekka :)

Another very bad night. It was sunny but windy yesterday, so there was much "dust" from the fir trees in the air and my mum coughed all night. She fell fast asleep around 6 this morning when I was already up and slept then for many more hours, so she's better now, but I'm half dead. Now doing a full hour of yoga every morning from 5 to 6 which is also quite challenging after almost no sleep, but I have no time in the evenings and it really helps me through the day.

YTD was very different: I joined a union! I - who many years ago during my banking apprenticeship worked through a general strike (still believe that bankers in strike for more money are a bit ridiculous and those were the good times in the early 90s).
Thing is that it's impossible in Italy to do the tax declaration yourself. I had an accountant until last year because of the company I once owned, and they charged much money. This year I asked my colleagues and they told me the unions help you for a third of the amount - and if you're a member you pay just 20 EUR. They helped me very much last year without charging me anything when I had the trouble here with my boss, so I called them yesterday and when they told me what is included in the membership I decided to join. The yearly contribution is still less than what I paid the accountant for the tax declaration alone.

>99 DianaNL: Hi Diana - thank you, I read it this morning while drinking coffee at home. It's fascinating and the reactions are so moving! What I saw so far of the arts section is great!

>101 Deern: I agree wholeheartedly!

So sorry to hear that you slept badly. I hope you'll sleep better tonight.

>102 DianaNL: :)

>103 Ameise1: I've been sleeping very badly for over a year now, with waking up often and staying awake for hours, not falling asleep again after 3am, etc. Just now, with my parents, knowing that my dad snores and gets up 3 times, that my mum coughs a lot and gets up 2 times, I don't even fall asleep deeply anymore for the first couple of hours. It feels like being just a mm away from the surface of being awake again - I guess it must be similar when you have small kids and know they might interrupt your sleep any moment. :)
And the living room is open to the hallway, so I can't close a door to have more quiet.

Just finished Ferrante #3. *sigh* There's too much Lenù in my own behavior, so I saw it all coming. Want to shake her and to scream at her as Lila did on the phone. Apart from that - much inspiration again. Will get #4 tomorrow.

Sorry to hear that you have such a awful sleep since a long time. My younger daughter takes a 'pill' (Naturprodukt von Zeller) which contains hop and valerien when she has troubles with her sleeping and it helps her very much.

Now that I have, at last, finished my "trek" I am starting to catch up! I am a pretty good sleeper, so I am useless. My spousal unit finds me very annoying. I think he sleeps best when he has gotten enough truly aerobic exercise, but there are many other factors, not the least of which is that he does perseverate--worries uselessly about things. I do too, upon occasion, but in some fundamental way I think I am too lazy to keep it up for long.

I love the idea of you making art , especially painting and sculpture. You already love to cook and I think they are related -- a love of colour and texture, of wild experimentation with tangible, tactile things. Writing is so . . . invisible and . . . black and white by comparison. Go wild!

>105 Ameise1: Thank you, I might try that again. I once used valerian, but don't remember if it worked. Also tried sleeping yoga, but that's (for me) about as helpful as digestion yoga: it makes no difference.

>106 sibylline: Thank you for the great encouragement! :) Now that you say it, the interest came up around the time when I became vegetarian and started experimenting with food textures and wanted my food to be as colorful as possible. Interesting!

****
Today is one of those days with a general language blockade. I have those from time to time. My German is simpler then, English becomes hard work and Italian becomes impossible. Nonetheless I'll post this review now before I get too far into the next book:

15. Storia di chi fugge e di chi resta by Elena Ferrante - with spoilers as always

Thanks to my similarities with Lenù and Nino being the narcissist prototype I knew I was in for difficult stuff. It took quite long however until the story took that predicable turn, almost till the end, so that this story arc is mainly transferred into book 4 which I started this morning.

This is a very important filler book, more of a filler than the second part of this series was. It’s setting the stage for what is to come, but lingers a bit too long on Lenù’s never-ending insecurities and her marriage that’s bad from the start. Painful to read most of the time because it reminds me again so much of my own life and decisions not taken.

In this book Lenù constantly and painfully switches sides – from wanting to be radical to becoming the perfect housewife. From feminist meetings and wishing to experience free love to running back to Naples when she hears her sister “lives in sin”. It’s not just the Solara thing as she claims, she wants to drag her sister back into the tight borders they grew up in because it was so hard for herself to escape. She’s envious all the time of others but unable to free herself. She’s suspicious of everyone (mainly Lila), because she herself is manipulative and not open to others.
And as in the earlier books, as soon as she starts to struggle, Lila rises and vice versa. At the beginning of the book we find Lila broken, urgently needing Lenù’s help. Lenù is on a long high, with her book being super-successful and the family of her husband opening every door for her. Of course Lenù’s pregnancy is as happy as Lila’s was bad, but it’s also the turning point in her life. While she can’t cope with motherhood, marriage and her literary and political ambitions anymore, Lila finds a new place in life and becomes wealthy once again the moment when Lenù’s income from her book is fading.

I am actually wondering if this antagonist thing means that Lenù will learn to see what Nino really is and will leave him instead of being left by him as all his other women were – if he left both Lenù and Lila equally brutally it would contradict the series’ set-up. But narcissist men usually have two sides – they leave the women who love them and stay forever with those who treat them badly (while complaining about them and cheating on them, but as those women confirm their own negative self-image, they cling to them). Lenù has the potential to be condescending. Still, I wanted to slap her constantly in the last 10%. I hope she’ll learn to see Nino as the catalyst she needed to free herself from all the old chains. Pietro’s reaction to Lila was interesting as well – she’s everything he doesn’t like in a woman and everything he believes (until the end) that Lenù isn’t. .

The title is great – it looks like Lenù has escaped while Lila stayed, but then it’s Lenù again who stays too long in a situation that doesn’t fit her while Lila once again manages to escape from a low point. They will never escape both, unfortunately.

Meanwhile, the rione – her childhood neighborhood – is changing again. Places that were shiny and new just a couple of years ago are alreadly deteriorating. Couples are separated or at least partners are openly cheating. The Solara family has gained much more power and co-operates with the new fascists against the communists and the antifa. Several characters we met in earlier books are brutally killed. Italy in the 1970s wasn’t a friendly place at all. Of course it is a bit like a soap opera that Ferrante works with the big but limited cast she created in the first books and hardly allows someone new entrance. So among the former friends and neighborhood kids of Lenù and Lila we have the fascist, the communist terrorist, the criminal clan head, the revolutionist, the evil capitalist boss, etc. It’s a microcosm and wherever Lenù turns, the rione finds her and draws her back in.

Rating: 4.2 stars

>108 DianaNL: Oh yes, TG!! :D
Happy Weekend, Diana!

Hm.. I was sure I had posted something else, but it has disappeared. So the weekend plans I mentioned earlier sadly had to be cancelled as the forecast is terrible. I wanted to take my parents to Abano Terme (a spa town near Padova) for two nights with halfboard in a wellness hotel with hot pools and saunas and on the Sunday take them by train (30 mins) to Venice for the day. We would have returned on Monday after breakfast which is my dad's 70th bday and so I thought with all the calls he'll get, that day shouldn't be filled with activities.
But now with high water in Venice and much more rain announced it wouldn't be fun at all, especially on a boat, and we decided to postpone it to a later visit.

Personally I'm very disappointed, as now my mum will clean all day and my dad will sit on the couch all day. The TV runs all the time either with badly done German mystery series or with news they get worked up about. I thought all three of us needed an escape, but clearly my parents were relieved when they read the forecast. I asked them to come to Abano then (which isn't far to drive) without Venice and enjoy the pools and the food and relax, but clearly they prefer to stay in and not move much. They say they're bored, but don't do anything. Today is market day, so I encouraged them to go, explicitly saying that it's open in the morning only. At 12:30 they called me to say that they're now off to the market. Can I admit I feel a bit lost and helpless?

I hope to be able to drag them to Bolzano tomorrow early enough to find a parking space and before the shops close for lunch around 12. :)

>69 Deern: Now I get it. Two persons/one soul. Elena And Lila did indeed have a soulmate connection despite their differences. I love how you put into words what I was thinking, Nathalie. You are such a perceptive reader.

>107 Deern: Thank you for another insightful review of #3 in the Neapolitan Series. I definitely plan to reread these books someday. Actually it would be my first time as I listened to the books...and probably missed things because of my faulty listening skills.

Nathalie, do NOT cave in and let your parents move in with you. Nearby is close enough. Oh dear, your mother is a cleaner and your dad a couch potato, so to speak. Ouch, that hit close to home. I will be a better houseguest when I visit my kids from now on!

I enjoyed reading about the progress with your yoga and about the creative decorating ideas floating around your head. Please do some before and after pics if you carry them out.

Happy weekend, Nathalie. Sorry to hear about the aqua alta.

Happy weekend, Nathalie. Sorry to hear about the aqua alta.

>110 Deern: Hope your weekend is going well. I don't envy you the tourism planning in bad weather. Hope that the folks get a burst of energy so you can have an outing somewhere dry?

Hi Nathalie! Hope all is going well over there. Stay strong!

Nathalie, I hope you can enjoy your Sunday, aqua alta notwithstanding.

Hi, back at the office after an extreme winter weekend with loads of snow and bad internet! Must "spit out" my last Ferrante review before getting back to you:

16. La storia della bambina perduta by Elena Ferrante

- contains many spoilers

While I am totally decided about the value this series has for me, I am quite undecided about this 4th and last book. Did I read them too quickly? I don’t think so. I guess there are two ways to interpret the "untidiness" in the narration and repetitiveness of parts of this book: either it has been done willingly to go along with the fuzziness of Lenù’s memories that become less orderly the closer in the past the events have taken place (it is always said that older people remember things that happened in their youth best). Life went by in a rush after the 20s and so goes this narrative. Or Ferrante ran out of steam, knew how to end the series, but not how to fill all the pages she needed to get there. For me, book 1 and 2 were particularly strong. Book 3 became a bit lengthy and repetitive, but as an intermediate book, that was okay. In this book however I got really tired of the endless love and hate relationships everyone has with everyone else. How often can you condemn your daughter and call her useless, an embarrassment and a w***e, just to tell her she’s always been your favorite, is the pride of your life, etc. a couple of weeks later? And that’s just mother and daughter, but it goes all through the book like that. Friends become enemies, become admiring and devoted friends, become deadly enemies….

I talked to some female Italian colleagues, and yes – family is seen a bit different than I know it and there’s even here in the North much more personal invasiveness and forced sharing of every single detail of your life. But when I remember how Lenù was NOT connected very much to her parents in the first two books, just wanted them to allow her further studies (NOT wanting to make them proud, that was quite out of the question) and then get the hell out of the city as soon as possible and how she now clings to motherly/sisterly/everyone’s love and recognition, I feel like I read two completely different characters. Feeling responsible for her mother is one thing and helping her in bad times, but suddenly needing all the love and therefore being jealous of everyone else?

Overall, I didn’t see a positive character development in Lenù over the years. She’s a very unreliable narrator, remains distrusting, over-sensitive and manipulative, insecure and terribly inconsequent. And as her antagonist, poor Lila has to sway from the far right to to the far left and back again all the time because that’s the structure of their relationship. I felt stressed reading it and I feel that the third and fourth book could easily have been combined into one and would have been easier to read and to digest. I just got weary of reading the umpteenth high of the one and low of the other, their moving towards each other and away from each other. If those two were real characters and not studies, it would be totally impossible to live with any of them, and that confirms my theory that they are not characters at all, just a wonderful idea that ran itself out a bit in the end. Yes, life has those ups and downs and in that sense it was realistic, but with two always opposite characters it became more and more difficult to follow without getting tired.

The surface plot of the lost child can’t have surprised anyone who read the first book and knows from the prologue that Rino doesn’t mention a younger sister. So my worry was just when and how that child would be lost – during pregnancy, killed by the camorra, killed by illness? It was solved very well and made much sense. It’s no coincidence that the child’s name is Tina and that she was photographed with Lenù as her daughter earlier. The other child that's getting abandoned in all 4 books is Lila. For me(!), the child Lenù stripped herself off the Lila in her at a very young age, deciding that Lila wouldn’t get far. Both of them threw the others’ doll away when the first phase of childhood ended and started into two different but connected lives. In Tina, we get a quick idea of what a Lila’s life might have been with a better starting position. But again, a decision has to be taken for Imma or for Tina, and to make Imma live, Tina/ the second Lila, has to disappear. It's crucial that Lila takes Imma into her arms and not her own daughter while talking to Nino, Imma's father and her own lost love, the moment when she lets go of Tina, her own younger self. When in the end the dolls turn up again, the story is over, and nothing much is left. All that was, is between the book covers between the two old rotten dolls on Lenù's shelf.

And then of course there isn't a single character in this book who isn't lost in some way. All the 2nd generation here is lost to their parents in different ways despite having had better starting points than the generation of Lenù, Lila and their friends. The children are lost, Napoli is lost, under every beautiful thing there's something bad and ugly buried or vice versa. And sometimes the earth opens and takes all life with it (I really liked how the big earthquake was integrated, I remember the news stories very well).

I had expected the book to end when Lenù finally has accepted the Lila side in herself and integrated her to profit from her: the rage, the genius, the spontaneity, etc. Instead she quite succeeds in blending her out, still fearing she might be attacked by her from behind. What remains on the last pages feels like an empty, lonely old shell.

She says the books about Lila are Lila-free, that it’s all her, Lenù’s own efforts, her own style in the story we’re reading. But in fact she banned Lila into that text and so took her life away. Lila asked her explicitly not to write about her, she even assured her not to worry, she could never publish anything of her own because that’s Lenù’s side of the world. But distrusting until the end and focused on herself, Lenù breaks her promise. She makes Lila visible, but as something separate from her, and this way destroys Lila's roots in herself. When she’s in the book, she can’t be in life anymore.

I should add that I found the Nino part confusing though I think I got it. The pain in Lenù is totally credible – who ever had a Nino in her life knows what Ferrante was writing about.
It felt like Ferrante divided her own experience into two stories. Narcissist men sway from total admiration of one of their objects to disgust and resistance. Lenù got the admiration and the clinging and the cheating, Lila the super-strong feelings and the quickly being abandoned in disgust (behind which remains always a lingering old fascination, those first good feelings can be re-awakened unless the “object” really did something very bad which Lila didn’t).

The book gets 4 stars, mainly for the last part – it had its 3 star bits for me as well as 5star bits. The series and the experiment get a clear 5star rating from me.

Hi Donna, Barbara, Charlotte, Linda and Paul, thanks für visiting and weekend wishes. I wish you all a lovely week! :)

Well, as much as I would have liked to go to Venice, the weather has been really bad this weekend. We got winter now, with a 2-3 months delay. It snowed all Saturday and the snow even stayed in the valley where I live, there's even some left today. We went to Bolzano where my mum did some clothes shopping and where we had a nice lunch in a wine bar near the market. We returned home in the early afternoon and stayed in. No internet and satellite TV thanks to the snow, so I read much of the 4th Ferrante.
Almost forgot, bought two older Ferrante books in Bolzano.

On Sunday it rained a lot, mixed with snow, so again we stayed in most of the time and my dad watched an endless series of old Western movies on Austrian TV (no satellite needed). Yesterday I had the day off to celebrate his birthday. We had a long breakfast with a (way too sweet) Sachertorte from a nice cake shop around the corner. Then we drove to Trento, the capital of Trentino, about an hour South from Merano. Trento has a beautiful old town and a university, but as it was Monday, all the museums and most restaurants were closed. We still found a nice looking place full with office people where I had a small portion of beetroot risotto with walnuts - delicious, but knowing we'd have a big dinner in the evening I didn't dare try more.
In the evening we went to the place where I had celebrated my bday with my friend Chrystle two years ago. It's a restaurant in a very old house, built into the mountain and part of the walls are sheer rocks. The food was delicious and they had a nice selection of vegan dishes. I had spinach salad with walnuts and smoked tofu and then a spicy vegan pasta and a vegan chocolate hazelnut parfait with spiced pears. We had invited Chrystle and Floh the dog and had a great evening. Of course I didn't sleep well with all that food, and now both my parents have a cold and coughed through the night. I'm waiting for Chrystle's pics of my parents and me and will post them here then. I took pics as well, but everyone's skin looked super-pink on them.

It has been a lovely time with my parents so far and we reduced the political discussions to one per day, but I'm SO tired, I think when they're gone I'll need a bed-day. :)

>111 Donna828: Hi Donna, thank you! That's just my interpretation, I guess if we had an LT wide discussion, everyone would bring their own life experiences into it and we'd see many different ways to understand the books.

My parents won't move in with me - unless (*knocks on wood to prevent bad luck*) something bad happens. No, we'd live in two different parts of town which I guess is okay.

I don't mind my mum cleaning, I mind the invasiveness - when it feels like she has been sniffing around to find something untidy. If she just cleaned, it would be okay. I hate the "I don't want to complain, but don't you think this would better be placed here/ you'd live happier if you put these clothes there...". That annoys me a lot. I'm quite sure you're not as bad. :)))

Glad to hear you survived what sounds like pretty grim weather. I'm skimming the Ferrante reviews in case I get the courage to pick her books up again. I do like how seriously you take her work.

The women's fiction prize longlist is out so I am excited about discovering lots of new authors and their work. Last year it made me read quite a few that I wouldn't have picked up otherwise. A good thing.

I think you'll definitely deserve a duvet day at the end of the visit.

Hi Nathalie! I must admit I skimmed past your two Elena Ferrante reviews since I am reading #3 right now (almost finished, wishing I didn't have to work today). I will have to remember to read them later since you had such wonderful insights on the first two books.

I'm relieved to see your parents will not actually be moving in with you. That is a very wise move for all concerned. Your comments about your mother cleaning have occupied my thoughts recently. When I visit my older daughter, who is living on her own for the first time, I usually help out by washing dishes, but I also often notice areas that would benefit from a good scrub (like in the bathroom). Your clarification in >119 Deern: helped me understand the boundary your mother is crossing. I don't think I'd cross that one specifically but I am now more aware of the potential issues. This is especially helpful since I will be visiting her this weekend ...

>107 Deern: Nathalie, I just finished the third book over my lunch break and immediately came here to read your review. Excellent, as usual. I agree that it's a filler book, and that some parts went on too long and were less interesting to me. I also liked your insight about the title:
The title is great – it looks like Lenù has escaped while Lila stayed, but then it’s Lenù again who stays too long in a situation that doesn’t fit her while Lila once again manages to escape from a low point. They will never escape both, unfortunately.

Like you I assumed, at first, it was Lenù who escaped, until that cliffhanger ending ...

Although it's tempting to immediately read the final book, I have other commitments so I will stick with my original plan to read it in April.

Sounds like that duvet day is well earned already :/ That sounds like an amazing day out you had planned - can I come instead? I've always wanted to see Venice.

>123 BekkaJo: And me! From the spa to Venice just sounded wonderful.

Yes, I am skipping the Ferrante reviews for now, although I'll read them later I am sure. I hope you post them on the book pages?

>121 lauralkeet: Oh yes, I can see this as a helpful thing for me pretty soon too.

>120 charl08: My reviews can’t do justice to the richness of that series. I concentrated on the duality/antagonist theme, but then there’s the whole political background with the peaceful revolutions of the 1960s turning into extremism and terror in the 1970s. There's the mafia, the corruption in policy and administration and the ever-looming neo fascism. There’s feminism treated so honestly – in Lenù it shows that all the talk in the end didn’t bring that much, she loses interest in an active participation and feels insecure and inferior all her life – and that quite reflects the situation of women in today’s Italy: much talk, not too many big results. There’s family and friendship and the need to be liked. Morals and "honor" and the wish for personal liberation without the courage to confront the reactions. It’s really vast and I can’t believe she managed to press it all into this “rione” microcosm.

I’m interested in reading some of those books from the list and I’ll be watching your thread for it. I’m now mainly interested in fiction set in the present or near past, I don’t want to accidentally select another historical fiction about a brave woman in the middle ages or something similar dystopian. I’d like to read something that feels relevant now.

>121 lauralkeet: and >122 lauralkeet: Thank you so much! I feel like my reviews are incomplete and already too long, it's good to see they can be helpful.
Hm… I scrubbed my bathroom and kitchen quite thoroughly and honestly I was offended when I told my mum that for example I’d cleaned the toaster and she said “oh really? Then you didn’t do it very well because I had some work with it”. Same thing with the fridge. No bathroom issues though. I think when you got the impression that there’s a sanitary risk you can nudge her into that direction (because I often simply don’t know things like “pour vinegar into the egg cooker”), otherwise better just ask if she wants help with something. I wish my mum asked me about the windows, but that’s clearly sth she doesn’t like doing herself. Or ironing...

>123 BekkaJo: and >124 charl08: You can all come – it would be such fun!! :D
Still a bit disappointed about the total lack of enthusiasm when I offered it. They said it would be stressful. Thinking of my parents’ super active friends who are all older and are in hiking groups or holidaying in Greenland I can’t believe that for them driving 2.5 hours, then spa, then served dinner, then sleep in a nice room, then taxi/train/boat to and in Venice and back and another dinner and a served bday breakfast mean stress. Yes, the weather was a showstopper, for Venice at least. But I’m sure they’d have found a reason not to go in any weather. :(

And looking forward SO much to duvet day! :)

>125 sibylline: I didn’t post them there because they read so emotional and badly worded and incomplete compared to many others. There are some great ones out already. I'll reread and maybe rework and then post shorter versions.

On Saturday I went to the Italian bookstore in Bolzano and found Knausgaard translated! Well, I won't read him in Italian, but I'm always so impressed with Italian publishing houses being open to international works. In German bookstores you find romance/historical fiction/ endless mysteries/ fantasy. Then come the classics and in the contemporary "serious" section I rarely find a book I know from here. In Italian stores it is more like "wow - they have this one! and that one as well!". And I don't know any serious Italian readers yet, so I always wonder who buys them.

I want to add one thing about the Ferrante - I have no idea if the writing is "good". I understood the narrative quite easily, so it isn't super-high-literature Italian like (I guess) Calvino and Pirandello. I haven't got the slightest idea how it reads in English but read in a NYT review that it's very well translated. This might mean that it can hurt the ear with its roughness and directness and in the later books with an added haziness/blurryness that feels rushed. My Italian is not good enough to judge all that - I'm just glad that for once an Italian book didn't feel pretentious and instead drew me in. There's a big difference between written and (well-)spoken Italian, there are special grammatical verb forms for literature and while Ferrante often used those, they didn't create the usual distance and I was glad for it.

>126 Deern: very helpful advice, thank you!

>127 Deern: interesting comments on the reading experience based on language. The English is a little rough/choppy in places, which I've attributed to translation more than the author's style or talent.

Interesting! I got far enough in my Italian studies to be daunted by the differences between spoken and written Italian, but not far enough to really "get" it. I can read a newspaper, but that's about the extent of it!

We had snow the last three days, too. Yesterday I went by public transportation to work and left the car at home it was a wise decision. Lots of accidents on the roads.
i hope you'll get better weather soon. Today we got lots of sun.

If your mum wants to get the cleaning bug out she's welcome here anytime. Seriously though - difficult not to get offended when someone redoes the job you've done already. I felt quite frustrated with my sister over Xmas as she kept suggesting 'improvements' in the kitchen including where I stored my coffee pot. Her way probably was better, if you don't take into account that first thing in the mornings I need to avoid tasks that require any coordination whatsoever... Things need to be next to each other as far as possible!

I read The Book of Memory yesterday. Definitely not historical fiction - Zimbabwe, over the last twenty years. I'm hoping it gets shortlisted.

>127 Deern: I have my ups and downs with Italian writers. Primo Levi and Andrea Camilleri will also be near the front of my shelves but Italo Calvino has often left me perplexed. I reckon I am going to like Ferrante.

Have a lovely weekend, Nathalie. xx

Sounds like your parents visit has been a bit of an energy drain for you Nathalie. I can only take my mom in small doses before it starts to feel as though she is controlling everything (and part of the reason there is a mountain range between the two of us). ;-)

I hope you have a lovely weekend!

Enjoy your duvet day. I think anyone who has there parents / mom/ dad visit for any length of time gets a little crazy. Lucky for me, my parents have always lived close to me ( my dad passed away nearly 8 years ago ) and thus we just stop by each others place and usually no big problems. My dad used to say that my place had the " lived in look' which did not bother me, because it would usually be in response to my apologizing my messy house. I guess I am fortunate. Now I have two sons , aged 31 and nearly 26 and I can only hope I don't drive them crazy! :)

I'm sort of in the throes of watching our daughter shift from viewing home as refuge to a place to spend as little time as possible. I find too, that the harder I try not to drive her crazy, the worse it is, like tiptoeing around a room you are sharing trying not to wake someone who is sleeping!

My parents left yesterday and as always I felt a bit empty and lost, but that’s normal. We had a nice long weekend together, going to Campo Tures/ Sand in Taufers for the cheese festival on Friday (where I’ve been 4 years ago with Chrystle). We did a “taste laboratory” on cheeses from Campania, the region around Naples, but also tasted many other cheeses. My dad met some friends from home who go there every two years. My mum was happy as well because we found the hotel where she and I had stayed in 1981 for 2 weeks for a ski holiday, and we shared all the memories once again.

On Saturday the sun was out, so we went to town to meet Chrystle and Floh for an aperitivo. It was so hot that we took all the winter layers off and were still sweating in our long shirt sleeves. Then my parents did their food shopping for neighbors and friends, my mum packed the bags and in the evening we had a nice farewell dinner with Chrystle and Floh again.
My parents left after breakfast yesterday and I spent the day washing machine after machine, doing (too much) yoga and reading this month’s BAC.

Oh, and I cooked one of Darryl’s dishes and realized that you clearly can’t just copy a slow-cooker dish in a normal pot. I also realized I didn’t even know a slow-cooker existed. I knew about pressure cookers and had confused them, only reading the recipe in detail (eggplant and potatoes cooking for 5hrs) I knew I’d sure get quite a different result. So my dish wasn’t dry at all, but it still tastes good. I also made a risotto with gorgonzola, red wine, walnuts and radicchio di Treviso (long leaves, bitter taste), so there's food in the fridge for the next 3-4 days now. I went to bed very early to catch up on sleep.

Overall the two weeks were great. I did my best to keep my distance when their communication issues became too obvious, at best tried to get them back to a neutral point. There was quite a lot of arguing, mainly about their plans for the future, and I think I managed not to take sides. This morning when I left for work I looked into the kitchen, and it's clearly "mine" again, with dishes in the sink and some crumbs on the floor. :)

>128 lauralkeet: The original is definitely rough in places, so the translator probably did quite a good job.

>129 sibylline: I find newspaper reading in foreign languages extremely difficult because they often play tricky word games for the headlines. I'm sure your Italian is on a high level.

>130 Ameise1: the weather has changed much here as well, although parallely to the sun from the west we got new clouds from the east. But spring won't be stopped anymore! :)

>131 charl08: When I see how my mum most aggressively cleans toasters with the help of knives or long spoons (electricity off of course), I always lose all appetite for toasted bread. She makes me feel like her cleaning "pains" are a punishment for my dad and me preferring our bread warm.
I told her repeatedly that I'd never change the order of things in her house, but that's normal for her because she thinks her way is the perfect one. I managed to confuse her once when we had breakfast together and I took all the jars and cheeses off the tray and put them directly on the table, saying "you can eat from a tray at home, but I prefer cleaning the table after breakfast, I don't like trays on the table". She swallowed, but didn't say anything - and let me clean the table of course. :)

>132 DianaNL: Thank you Diana, a happy week to you! Such a cute little guy again! :)

>136 sibylline: sigh. Yeah, same here. Julia is going through that stage right along with the LD.

>133 PaulCranswick: Hi Paul, we like the same authors! Camilleri loves playing with the language and the different levels of dialect which is quite fun, and I never had an issue understanding Levi. Reading Calvino I feel stupid.
A lovely week to you!

>135 vancouverdeb: Haha, I have to remember the "lived in look"! :)
If my parents really move to Merano, our relationship will certainly change again and expectations will not be super-high as they are now every time we meet.

>136 sibylline: and >139 lauralkeet: Reading your post I tried to remember that development... When I went to university I came how every 2 weeks - my boyfriend lived there and we spent the weekends together at my parents' house - and then I didn't have a washing machine at Saarbruecken. :) So during those 5 years home was still very much home. I moved back home after the degree until my 6 months probation at my new job were over, also to save the money for furniture and the new car I needed. When I moved out the second time, my parents turned my room into a guest room and home lost the home feeling at once. It's not the room only, everyone's behavior has changed. When I visit, they prepare special foods, put chocolates in my room, it's all very affectionate, but also very "special occasion", so I'm not as relaxed as I used to be. And because the room isn't my room anymore (though no-one else has ever slept there), my mum's rules of keeping order are valid in there, not mine. So I make an extra effort of cleaning, hoovering, etc. And when all is clean I wander around the house and don't know what to do.
It's sad, I agree - but it's normal I guess. It's something that isn't easy for both sides and there's always the melancholy element. *sigh*

17. Sunshine Sketches of a Little Town by Stephen Leackock (CAC 2016)

Finished my February CAC read with a bit of a delay. Well, what can I say about this book? I didn’t really enjoy reading it because I wasn’t in the mood for light and easy and satirical episodes from Canadian small town life in the very late 1800s (or early 1900s?), and I’m sorry about it because it’s really quite lovely stuff. Leacock could easily have written some biting satire here, but he wrote with affection for all those characters and that makes the stories special. He really likes the people he portrays and the reader can’t help liking them as well. I never read the “Little House” books, but this was a bit like reading the TV show, and I think if you wanted you could write a similar book for every normal neighborhood where everyone knows everyone and nothing remains unnoticed. I got the complete collection of Leacock’s works for just 1.99 EUR and when I’m in a better mood I’ll certainly read some more.

Rating: 3.5 stars

18. The Accidental by Ali Smith (1,001 #408 (362 ), BAC 2016, Booker SL 2005)

I’m really happy that March is Ali Smith month. I liked the two books I read so far very much and with this one I can tick off a 1,001, a Booker candidate and this month’s BAC.

I liked this book more than many other readers did (judging from the reviews), maybe because I read it a bit differently. I love the experiments Ali Smith takes with her writing and I see her in the tradition of Virginia Woolf. I don’t know however if an AS book will ever be a 5star read for me because (imvpo) either her narrative skills can’t hold fully pace with her experiments – or she does it willingly. Either way, I can’t sink into her books as I sink into The Waves or To The Lighthouse where the beautiful language carries me through the book and only when I emerge again I notice the super-clever construction. In AS books I climb along the construction that’s filled with narrative, but in a way that the construction usually dominates or at least clearly shines through. Her books make me think while reading, her stories are never real stories for me and her characters aren’t RL characters from the beginning. Btw. are there 12-year-old boyish-looking super-smart girls (sometimes with cameras) in all of her books?

The plot: a family of 4 – mother and writer Eve, her husband and English lit professor Michael and her children from an earlier marriage Magnus (18) and Astrid (12) - spend their summer holidays in a run-down rented house in Norfolk. There’s next to no communication, the family is on the verge of breaking apart. Astrid “suffers from” puberty big time, tries to fight it with sarcasm and watches the world through the eye of her camera. Magnus is weighed down by the guilt of having participated in a bullying prank that resulted in the suicide of a classmate. Michael has started the umpteenth affair with one of his students and struggles with the realization that he’s no longer the seducer he used to be. And Eve has writer’s block, hiding in the garden hut all day pretending to write the next book. Into this non-idyll walks Amber, a young or old woman (depending on the person watching her). No one knows her, but everyone believes another family member has invited her, so they let her into the house and into their lives. She quickly connects with all 4 characters in different individual ways and, it seems, makes their lives immediately better. The story is divided into The Beginning, The Middle and The End, and in each part each character has a say. The voices are believable; the styles are different and creative. I loved the bit where Michael’s thoughts become poetry. Beginning is the day when Amber arrives, Middle is the long period of time she spends with them and End is after she has left their lives again and everything has changed.

I’ll put this in spoilers for those who know the book: I didn’t care much about the “empty house” and the question whether Amber was a criminal who had planned all that from the beginning, etc. In the end she was a bit like a modern and darker Mary Poppins and she even hints at that. She heals all family members from their individual maladies, she joins Michael with Eve’s children and when she’s gone they find a place and a situation (with all the hidden secrets out) where they can start again without the option of clinging to their old lives. She gave them the most fantastic gift! I have my doubts about Eve though. I would have preferred an ending where she throws the phone into the Grand Canyon and that’s it. The idea of her becoming (or trying to become) a second Amber didn’t ring true. And I also wouldn’t have needed the short bits where Amber herself gets a voice.

Rating: 4 stars, and I think it will get better the more I think about it

I'm so glad to read that, despite minor issues, you had a great visit with your parents. For them to meet friends at the cheese festival and then to share memories with your mom must have been highlights for them.
"This morning when I left for work I looked into the kitchen, and it's clearly "mine" again, with dishes in the sink and some crumbs on the floor. :)" That comment brought a smile to my face too!!

Have a great week!

Reply | More

Great comments on The Accidental Nathalie. I didn't like that one as much as How to be both, but reading your comments I think I might have to read it again to look more carefully at what she's doing.

Glad to hear your flat is your own again. Hope you get plenty of sleep over the next few days and enjoy the space.

>143 Carmenere: Yes, it was a good time and the funny thing is that I still wake up at night and think I have to be extra-quiet when I get up. A great week to you, too! :)

>144 charl08: Thank you Charlotte! I also like HTBB better, not sure about There But For The. Haven't caught up on sleep yet, this morning I woke up at 02:30 and that was it.
When I look into the mirror I feel like an old ugly crow - eyes are red and swollen and at the same time the wrinkles seem to have multiplied. Hoping for the longer Easter weekend.

Glad you did so well with your parents :-)

>140 Deern: It's sad, I agree - but it's normal I guess
I am no expert at "normal", but I think everyone thinks their own situation is normal, athough it may not be....

I haven't read any Ali Smith yet, but obviously I will have to. It sounds a little bit Iris Murdochian.

Just took both the LD and the spousal unit to the airport (we arose at 4:30) so I know that sense of being a bit lost. I am back in bed as it is still dark out!

Unlikely I will ever do much of anything to the LD's bedroom up on the third floor. More likely that she herself will dismantle it bit by bit. It has become much tidier -- all her work -- just in the two years that she's been at college. The stuff she "leaves behind" is mostly sentimental, not a lot to do with her present day life. Of course, when she is home with her carload of stuff it fills right up!

Happy Weekend!

Ooh I have The Accidental lined up too :) yay!

And CHEESE FESTIVAL! So cool - I mean I'd be sick as a dog (post gallbladder removal cheese is still on a very small portions only level) but it sounds amazing.

Hope you have a lovely chilled weekend.

Glad to see that Ali Smith generally has met with approval, obtuse but brilliant I think is the consensus.

Have a lovely weekend, Nathalie.

Hope you're having a good weekend. I've picked up A Manual for Cleaning Women again. Funny how a book can work in a different frame of mind, a different time.

Life sign: I had my duvet-weekend! Okay, it was a sun chair weekend on my balcony where I could enjoy the sun in shorts and a tank top despite the wind and got my first bit of tan this year. I slept 7 hrs every night and feel much better today.

Last week again was stressful at work with many long hours and I didn’t read a single page, eyes again being too tired after all the excels to deal with literature (or LT). Energies generally were super-low. So I stayed off the computer screen all weekend and caught up on my reading to make March a better month than February has been. Also did some yoga, ate loads of raw and steamed vegetables to detox (and destroyed it all by eating way too many dark chocolate eggs with hazelnuts), and met both my landladies – Karin, the future one and Chrystle, the present one. With Karin, I signed the contract, so it’s official now! With Chrystle (and Floh), I had tea before she’s leaving for Rome tomorrow for about 6 weeks.

I measured all the furniture I want to take and made a first draft of my future rooms. It will be difficult, but interesting. Of course I’ll miss this place, and if my parents really take it, I’ll at least still have the terrace in my life. 

>146 FAMeulstee: You're right Anita - I had to learn that much I thought was normal was in fact far from it, whatever "normal" ist. :)

>147 sibylline: Wow, is it 2 years already? I was okay with my parents changing the room - I had taken the bed with me and the wardrobe was old. But then of course it never felt like "mine" again. On their visit now, my parents brought me some "sentimental" stuff they found somewhere and I found most of it it had lost its sentimental value.

>148 DianaNL: OMG this is SO cute!! Just thinking that I used to eat those little guys, especially for Easter! Now I could just cuddle it without feeling guilty. :)
A happy week to you, Diana, and thank you!!

>149 BekkaJo: The "laboratorio del gusto" (taste loboratory, guided degustation) was real fun. We were allowed to knead our piece of super-fresh mozzarella and to bury our noses in it. The eating portions were super-small though and I took care my dad (who's developed lactose problems lately) didn't eat all his mozzarella.

>150 PaulCranswick: Yes, Ali Smith was great! A happy week to you, Paul!

>151 charl08: I must read your review. I had the sample a while ago, but I think it was one of those samples that are foreword only, there wasn't much in it and the book (then) cost too much to be bought blindly.

Okay, I apologize for what follows. Don't read it if you like chick-lit! I know I sound snobbish and arrogant, but I can't help it! My excuse it that the only thing that got me through JoJo Moyes' Me before you was forming that rant and the review in my head while reading.

Rant first:
This book made me terribly angry and about a quarter through I wanted to throw it against a wall. So why did I read it at all? Because a) I had promised it my landlady-friend Chrystle. It’s the first book she read in about 40 years, she said, and she LOVED it and I must absolutely read it. So now I also feel bad for quite hating it… b) I had booked it as February read, following Rachel’s challenge to read outside your comfort zone. Okay, it’s March now, but it was really on top of my TBR. At least it was a quick 1.5 days read (skim) despite its over 500 pages many of which were basically empty (word bubbles).

Well… I admit chick lit/ rom coms had a big part in my life about 15 years ago. I understand the addictiveness it has. I was there, I got over it, and like an ex-smoker I’m now super-sensitive when confronted with my ex-drug.

My feeble excuses: I believe the genre was then still quite fresh (Bridget Jones #2 was published around that time), I was young and I read it also to improve my English – it was the time when our office was flooded with expats from the UK after my company had taken over an investment bank in London. I quickly made friends with many of them and those books provided expressions like “sophisticated (look)”, “having a crush on/ a soft spot for s.o.”, “a glass of chilled Chardonnay”, etc. It taught me some “city etiquette”. Frankfurt got an English bookshop then and I selected my books by the cover.

I knew that what I read wasn’t great literature, but that was before the Shakespeare phase (that changed my reading life), and as I said then “trash sounds less trashy in a foreign language”. I tried the genre in German btw. and found it totally unreadable, and I doubt the English used in those books is high-level either.

Only years later when I reread some of those books (and after having read all the Austens) I noticed how one-dimensional, deeply manipulative and basically misogynic they were. They are written in a simple addictive style with short sentences, like thoughts, but not really. We identify with the female protagonist who’s always in her mid- to late twenties. And then there’s the difficult, complex, handsome male – basically the Mr. Darcy. And he always makes the woman’s life better. There are 1,000 obstacles, each isn’t the other’s “type”, at least one of them is in a c****y relationship or still suffering from the last one and unable to commit. Too often he’s rich, spoiled and successful – or just the opposite when the woman is ambitious and she has to overcome her resistance to date a charming loser. Family is important; usually the heroine is a “good girl” with guilt issues, a modern Lizzie Bennet. I also read CL set in posh circles, but it’s always similar, as if written by some publishing house robot.

When I went through my old books, the only one I still quite liked was Ralph’s Party. There are three intertwining storylines about different parties living in the same house. It’s written from a male POV (and Ralph really IS charming, I still "have a crush on him" - see??) and it brought me to Thai and Indian cooking. But the other ones I once loved, mainly those by Jane Green, transfer the most shameful messages, and I let myself lead to bad life decisions with their “help”.

What do you learn from those books? Get slim and pretty and you’ll get the man of your dreams (deviation included) and the Job of your dreams. If a guy who clearly likes you but is unable to commit lets you fall like a hot potato, the only thing you have to do is make him jealous and keep him in view and he’ll come round. And hey – if he was poor, he’ll even be wealthy by the time he comes round. All the women in those novels have jobs, but usually are unhappy and waiting to get married. And then Prince Charming/ Mr Darcy in disguise arrives and saves them from their low life.

*******

19. Me Before You by JoJo Moyes

Now this book is SLIGHTLY different. And only in the sense that BIGGEST POSSIBLE SPOILER the girl doesn’t get the guy, but is still saved by him. We have Louisa (Lou) Clark, 26 years old, still living with her parents. They’re clearly “lower” class, she hasn’t finished school and just lost her waiting job in a café. Her sister, a single mum, lives at home as well. Dad’s job is at risk. Lou’s small wages have helped the family to survive, so now everyone is keen to get her working again and quickly. She accepts a 6-month place as daycarer of 34-year-old Will who is quadriplegic after an accident 2 years ago. Will, who used to be super-successful and active and had a skinny long-legged caramel-tanned (it’s mentioned so often I guess it’s part of her character) girlfriend, is unable to cope with the situation. He’s cynical and, more importantly, suicidal. After his last try, he has made an agreement with his parents: if in 6 months he still does not want to live on, they will support his assisted suicide with “Dignitas” in Switzerland. Despite the initial dislike between Lou and Will, of course it soon becomes her mission to make him embrace life again.
This STILL could have been a good story, despite that very clichéd set-up.

Euthanasia/ assisted suicide is a very serious topic, as is losing someone you love, being powerless to make her/him stay with you, no matter how hard you try. While usually that genre tells you to hold on if he runs off if you really believe “he’s the one”, you’re helpless in the face of death. So this might be one of the very few CL books where the heroine has to learn to let go. Unfortunately, that's the part we don't get to see.

I can’t say I’m angry with the author to add an element like euthanasia into a type of book that usually ends on a light note. You have a big fan base, so feel free to bring in complex themes. I even want to believe she was on a mission when she started it but was then trapped in the limits of the genre.

But: Will’s handsome (once Lou had cut his hair) and smart and rich. Lou is smart and “invisible” to most men, but of course a hidden beauty as well. There are: the mean boyfriend, the smart sister, the bitchy ex-girlfriend, the bitchy sister and mother (his), the warm-hearted parents (hers), the dark secret in her past (we learn: when you were drunkenly abused by a group of men and maybe even gang-raped and therefore traumatized, you’ll be miraculously healed and ready for a new life the moment when Mr. Darcy-on-wheels tells you “don’t let yourself define by that one night”). There’s education of the female by the male. Even the overused “guy takes uneducated girl to classical opera/ concert against her will and she is overcome with emotions by the beauty of the music” has not been avoided. And she reads and she watches (gasp!) foreign movies with him, with subtitles! And learns to use a computer!!! So this is just another book in the “I was nothing until I met you” tradition.

How about climate change next time (conservative brand-addicted lower-middle-class woman with cra**y job falls in love with environmentalist and moves into the country with him, rejecting super-rich marriage candidate working for/ owning an oil firm who waves with Prada handbag ), or racial issues? Let the heroine fall in love with an illegal refugee while using all the other chick lit elements. Fake marriage with super-handsome African or Indian guy who's not a muslim (that would be one element too many) turns into real love! Racist ex-boyfriend informs the authorities. Or wait – I’m sure all that has been done since I stopped reading that stuff. I’m sure if the publishing house robot responsible for CL gets only one extra element that can be seen as “obstacle”, it’ll produce something super-successful. I mean – those things can deal with “but he’s undead”.

And that was what I hated. The wheelchair was just “this story’s obstacle”. Okay, in this case it couldn’t be overcome, which is hard to digest in a world where girls happily become vampires (=die) to be with their (wealthy) man forever (“I was meant to be a vampire”, which also means "I'll never have to work for my living now"), but it’s just the same old manipulative “Cinderella finds her prince and no longer has to think for herself” in a different cloth.
It was and remained until the very end chick lit over the top. 10% in you know exactly what will happen. You even know that mean boyfriend will do something super-bad before the story ends - and he does and it is totally unimportant for the story as is the whole Patrick character. And then of course, instead of showing us how Lou and the family deal with the direct aftermath – that would have been really interesting and challenging for author and readers – we get a cheap Hollywood movie-like sentimental epilogue set months later. It even was as if, in order to make up for the missing happy end, JJM had piled the other gifts (that usually come with a husband) extra-high: new self-confidence, liberation from old trauma, liberation from too tight family ties, a goal in life – and wealth!

This book is a big fat sentimental manipulative lie constructed with the usual genre building blocks! This is a book that pretends to be deep but avoids the real confrontation with the theme, milking the drama on the surface. Information about Dignitas, the whole process, the legal situation? Niente! The little I know I knew before - and none of that was mentioned in this book. Thanks to the family's wealth there's also a medical nurse, so Lou is almost never confronted with the more unpleasant physical sides of caring. Anything which would have brought the story closer to a real life experience is avoided. I don't say that JJM didn't do any research at all except for a couple of medical explanations, but if she did, almost none of it ended up in the book. Sometimes it's the publishers who don't want to scare the readers off and press a more courageous plot back into the usual form that sells well.
The ending is written in order to produce tears, but it won't help anyone who is in a similar situation because it leaves out the part everyone's most scared of - the time between ending and epilogue. In most lives, the epilogue never comes! "You suffer, but you're rewarded" - no, you're not. Usually you just suffer for years and years, but that wouldn't make a bestseller and a movie - or would it?

Rating: no rating from me

I also read The Vegetarian by Han Kang this weekend which is LLed for the women's fiction prize, but I accidentally deleted my review in Word when I deleted the one for the Moyes... maybe later.

Edit: I'd like to add: if you need a good cry - and we need those from time to time, the Moyes book is okay, it's a tearjerker after all. When I need a cry, I watch "Love, Actually" which is just as unrealistic. But don't read it if you want to know more about assisted suicide or how to cope with the death of a loved one, because you won't find that on those 500+ pages.

>153 Deern: Don't beat about the bush Nathalie. If you're not sure whether you like it or not you can always reserve judgement, hahaha!

One look at it and you know it is a duffer I think.

>155 PaulCranswick: Haha, I was too subtle, wasn't I ?! :D
I knew it when my LL placed the thing on my table and I took a look at the cover. I even get how you'll think it's great if you haven't read anything in over 40 years, so I forgive her for it. Well, it was a palate/ brain cleanser after a long week, maybe I'm now ready for something more serious again.

*****

I've been watching some documentaries lately on Sky and I notice the emo-phenomenon there as well (as on the news which sometimes seem to be produced in order to create well-directed emotions like fear (refugees) or hatred ("lazy Greeks", "evil Russians"), not information). Yesterday I watched a really interesting docu on Pompei, but all the great scientific bits were constantly interrupted with scenes of "Pompeian people" running, screaming, hiding. And as if that hadn't been enough they let someone reconstruct the faces of two victims to show us "those were people like you and me". It was like being asked all the time "what do you feel now? ", "and now that you know they suffered terribly before their brains exploded from the heat?". I felt just bad and guilty for watching, it was way too intimate for me in a docu.

In this book it was Massive SPOILERS
"so he decided her love wasn't enough and he still wants to die - do you cry yet?"
"Nope"
"okay, so we'll let them quarrel and both cry all the time and then the family cries and the mother faints"
"No tears"
"Hm.... okay how about reporters outside the door, days and days of crying, and now her sister and her parents are crying as well and a last-minute-flight to Switzerland and a reunion at the death bed - is that a tear??"
"Grmpf"
"Okay, we got you, so now for the finale: months later in the Paris café he loved so much she reads his very last letter to her which he romantically (controllingly) ordered her not to open unless she really makes it to that place with the money he left her and learns she'll be provided for for many years to come, can buy a flat and can from now on follow her dreams? And that she was oh so totally loved?"
"Waaaah" *tears running*
"Win! What a great deep story we gave you, it even moved you to tears!"


Guess I'm off the romances for a while! :)

Yikes! That's a strong opinion right there. I'm not sure I agree that books can make that much impact on our attitudes and ideas. But I respect your right to hold that view.

So what are you reading next?

>157 charl08: On my very impressionable and over-sensitive mind, they did and do. Especially this year. :)
And those romances sure did at their time and I still feel the impact. I was the first one in my family to get an education above middle school, but in the background there was always the expectation that this would only serve as a foundation for a better marriage. In the end, there'd be a man and he'd provide for me. And the books and movies showed me that I'd just have to be patient and "good" and then eventually he'd turn up, maybe in disguise first, but "I'd know". So when I thought I knew (also 15 years ago, so coinciding with my romance addiction) and fell in love with a colleague/ good friend who turned extremely emotionally abusive, I just waited for him to come round and recognize my value. In the meantime I slimmed down, got a fake tan, highlights and muscles... like in the books. But it didn't help. Embarrassing, I know.

Anyway - I really liked The Vegetarian (you once mentioned it in the Guardian list I believe), and next I'll try to finish some partly read books. I'm back with my february Dalrymple, but that's so sad I'll need more breaks. Then there's a Simenon waiting and maybe another Ferrante. But I checked the Guardian list last week and caught 3 more BBs from there. :/ :)

20. The Vegetarian by Han Kang

Short, recommended by the Guardian and listed for the women’s fiction prize 2016 (it isn't, why did I think that? I guess it wanted to be read..). A very quick read I absolutely needed directly after the Moyes yesterday. I really liked this book although I don’t think I totally “got” it.
It is the story of a young Korean woman, told by three different people. In the first part we see her husband’s reactions when the so far dutiful and meat-loving Yeong-hye suddenly turns into a vegan after bad dreams dealing with blood, meat and guilt. We don’t hear her voice, we just read some dreams, and they are horrid. Of course this isn’t about meat per se, it is about trauma and the urge to break out of a conventional, very restricted life. In that first part we get the husband’s reactions and his embarrassment during an important company dinner, a family meal (where in a terrible scene Yeong-hye’s father tries for force-feed her pork) and later in hospital.

Big spoilers from here on:
The second part is set some months later. Yeong-hye has been released from the mental ward and becomes the object of obsession of her brother-in-law, an artist. I must read up what a Mongolian mark means, but it’s something that presumably all kids have and that grows out when they get older. Yeong-hye still has hers and that information sends her BIL on an artistic and erotic mission that endangers his family life.
Part 3 is again set later. The sister visits Yeong-hye, again in the closed mental ward, who now has stopped eating altogether and seems to believe she’s turning into a tree. Confronted with own childhood memories, she recognizes Yeong-hye’s behavior as silent rebellion against her life, in a society where individualism isn’t tolerated. She realizes her own passivity and faces the possibility of having to let go off her sister.
Spoiler end

I thought is was well written/ translated and I’d like to read more by this author. The book has some gruesome scenes and I was reminded of Murakami’s Kafka on the Beach and the cat scene. In one of Yeong-hye’s memories/ dreams a dog is tortured to death by her vengeful and violent father and then eaten by the family – and blood plays an important role, so be careful with it.

Rating: 4 stars

Forgot to say that I was very saddened this weekend by the death of the former German foreign Minister Guido Westerwelle, whose cancer survival book I'd read and reviewed on my last 2015 thread http://www.librarything.com/topic/202435 in post 114.

Not a fan of his very market liberal politics, I quite liked the person (I'd read some interviews), he never seemed corrupted and clearly enjoyed life and was genuinely interested in people. I admired how he dealt with his homosexuality, loved it that he insisted in taking the post as foreign minister in 2009 despite that "obstacle" and often took his husband with him on trips as others take the wives (of course there were many negative voices, but he didn't care). It seems he never recovered from a pneunomia he caught last autumn, but in the end died from graft-vs-host disease, which made me also think of JanetInLondon. When I wrote my review, thinking he was over the worst, he was on the decline already, and died on March 18th, aged 54.

>160 Deern: It is funny Nathalie because I was thinking about Janet just the other day when I was looking through old stats and noticed her in there and then noticed she was still listed as one of my "interesting libraries". I am loathe to disturb it because those sorts of things stand as a sort of memorial don't they?

I wasn't familiar with the recently passed Foreign Minister of Germany but I am glad that increasingly one's sexual orientations matter less than they used to in making snap judgments on suitability for office.

Love to read your rant about Me before you, Nathalie, you nailed everything :-)
I have had my time with CL too, but got tired of "ever happy after" endings. I know I am lucky, living with my love of a lifetime, but real life love doesn't look at all like the CL ones :-)

I don't remember where I saw it, probably on Facebook, that people who have to struggle early in life are most likely struggling on the rest of their lives... that is not what these books want you to believe...

No, it's not my new challenge to read all of them - far too many and far too big an investment as I'd have to buy them all, but I'd like to read at least some of them (copied from Charlotte's thread):

The Women’s Fiction Prize longlist :

Kate Atkinson: A God in Ruins

Shirley Barrett: Rush Oh!

Cynthia Bond: Ruby

Geraldine Brooks: The Secret Chord

Becky Chambers: The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet read

Jackie Copleton: A Dictionary of Mutual Understanding

Rachel Elliott: Whispers Through a Megaphone

Anne Enright: The Green Road read

Petina Gappah: The Book of Memory

Vesna Goldsworthy: Gorsky

Clio Gray: The Anatomist’s Dream

Melissa Harrison: At Hawthorn Time

Attica Locke: Pleasantville

Lisa McInerney: The Glorious Heresies

Elizabeth McKenzie: The Portable Veblen

Sara Nović: Girl at War

Julia Rochester: The House at the Edge of the World

Hannah Rothschild: The Improbability of Love

Elizabeth Strout: My Name is Lucy Barton

Hanya Yanagihara: A Little Life read

I chose the Chambers just for its title and was a bit shocked to see it's sci-fi. But feminist sci-fi and fun sci-fi as far as I know, so that's the book that I'm now reading, forgetting all the plans mentioned above in >158 Deern:. In fact, instead of continuing one of my on hold books, I bought three new ones yesterday.

>161 PaulCranswick: I remember that the group read its way through her library when she died, there was a special thread, and that was one reason why Jim left it open. Now her daughter is reading her library, but blogging elsewhere. I still miss Janet, she was such a great voice and friend here.

Re. Westerwelle: I thought it was absolutely ridiculous (or better embarrassing) how the media and many people reacted when he sometimes took his husband on trips abroad. I believe his travel expenses were even paid privately in order not to raise trouble. Who ever cared about the wives coming along? That new right-wing party that got so strong in the last regional elections among other things like stopping migration, wants to "re-focus on the traditional families" (which explicitely also excludes single parents) and "end the hype about homosexual people". I'll never get why so many people feel threatened when a group finally gets the rights they should have had all the time. Nothing is taken away from them.

>162 FAMeulstee: I'm so happy for you, Anita, and for all those happy couples we have here in the group. You're all an inspiration and give me hope.

I also think that much depends on the early years. When you grow up learning that life is fun or at least not difficult, you'll take that concept into your adulthood and most probably will cope much better with the things that unvariably are going to happen. When you learn it's a struggle, you'll approach new opportunities much more carefully and will think too much and too long about everything. I start doubting that reprogramming is possible at all.

>164 Deern: I agree with that completely, Nathalie. I am unashamedly heterosexual and adore the company of ladies but I really don't understand why anyone should feel threatened or want to discriminate against another because he or she express their love in a different manner. I have close relationships with people irrespective of orientation; hetero, homosexual, bisexual and it should never be a determiner in settling a wider role in society. My own Sister-in-Law has had a number of girlfriends and is technically outside the law in having done so in this very conservative country, but I can think of few people I love as unreservedly. I am proud of the fact that mine has been the shoulder she has chosen to cry upon on occasion when life has been a struggle for her.

I, for one, have enjoyed your rants. I never did succumb to the allure of chick-lit, really, to my amazement.

Re >164 Deern: Somewhere I read that in a study of POWS from WW2, it was those who had had solid middle class, fairly happy upbringings, stable at least, who fared the best, became the leaders and boosters in the camps--organizing plays and music and ways to keep one another from going crazy. That would confirm your idea. On the other hand there is a very sensible concept of a "good enough" upbringing - proposed by the English psychologist Carl Whittaker that no parents do everything right and that human beings have some flexibility in that regard. Knowing one was wanted even loved is the crucial piece so that even if the actual parenting falls somewhat short just knowing that someone wanted you to be here, even if all they do is criticize or whatever, is key. And, of course, that is not always "enough" for every child. Some are more sensitive, easier to hurt, slower to heal. Some seem to turn out fine with extremely difficult backgrounds. So, that "good enough" concept only works to a greater or lesser degree. I think it makes some sense, however.

>166 sibylline: those who had had solid middle class upbringings For British POW's I always heard it was those men who had been to boarding school who survived best, on the grounds that if you could survive an English boarding school, you could survive anything!

>165 PaulCranswick: there are so many things I just don't "get". Can't say that my parents gave me a pacifist or tolerant education, so it must be in me. I watched a docu about Picasso's "Guernica" last night. Somehow I had totally forgotten that that massacre had happened two years before the actual war, like training. The cruel details of shooting from the planes on people who ran from the bombed town... And I guess all those soldiers had at one point been normal boys. Whether is's homosexuality, misogyny, racism, religious extremism or nationalism - I don't get it how "someone" can talk normal healthy people into such hate and into a state of mind where they willingly do harm to others as if they were life without value. I'm glad I don't "get" it, I hope I'll never really "get" it (because that would mean I'd be converted into doing something bad), and events like yesterday or lately in Ankara (and don't let me get started on drone wars) leave me speechless and numb and very sad.

>166 sibylline: Thank you Lucy! I didn't want to hurt people, but The Vegatarian I read next basically dealt with a similar theme - letting go someone who doesn't want to be helped/ the right to determine when one's life ends. It was done so differently and so subtly. It was the pretended seriousness that got me so angry.

>166 sibylline: and >167 SandDune: Going back to what Anita originally said, those books tell you "life is a struggle, okay - but wait and then some external element (Prince Charming) will turn up and everything will change for the better". Fairy tales are great - but grown women should not (like me) believe those shallow messages. And both fairy tales and Austens were written at times when a good marriage was the best thing that could happen to a woman, when she couldn't escape from a bad situation with her own powers.

If you grew up a struggle person you'll remain one until YOU change and all the PCs won't take that personality off of you. It is very, very difficult. I read so many self-help books that pretended "do these affirmations daily and you'll be better", but then life hits you onto your head and the affirmations are forgotten. I see mini-progress now, after years, for example in the relationship with my parents. But I still feel lost most of the time.

I often wondered what I would have been like in a real crisis situation (like war). I usually think I'd have run into the next electric fence/ put myself into the front line to get done with it/ slashed my wrists. I don't think I have survivor's force or even the force to encourage others.
And then I think of my grandma who grew up in a good financial situation with two brothers, a bit spoiled. Both beloved brothers died, her husband lost an arm and had to run from the Russians. She lost her home and all her belongings, had to grab 4 kids (my mum just born) and get on a cattle train to the West. At least she still had her parents. We don't know what happened on the way, she never talked about it. And in the West they had to share a room with another family, the house with many others. Husband still missed. When she'd managed all that, the first thing she did was trying to commit suicide. She was literally beaten back into life by people yelling at her for being so selfish to leave her children alone. She had a really good life later, husband returned, they found work, had another child, built a house, went on holidays in the 70s. But looking at her I could never connect her with that woman who had been able to go through all that. I always thought "I would have failed".

Looking at families I grew up with, I can say that the members are either all "mostly at peace with life" (and all situations that might come up) or they aren't. If insecure people like my parents want to have a child and love it with all their heart, they'll still pass on their insecurities, worries and fears. Maybe that's the good thing about the boarding schools, you are out of the direct influence of the parents for many years, and if(!) you're lucky with teachers and school mates, you'll develop the self-confidence you'll need later in life.
The most peaceful family I know were farmers with 5 kids, the youngest was my age. They didn't have much money, no holidays ever, but they were cotented. One child went through high school, two through middle school and two ended school after 9 years. They were fine with it all, they never worried, no pressure, as long as each of them would find a work. They had no ambitions and were happy with everything that came to them. And when a good opprtunity came up, they just took it. No-one feels guilty for having under-performed, because there was no pressure of expectations. I guess the art is to love (and show it), to nourish and to guide where necessary, but then let them develop into all the directions they want (okay, don't let them tun into a car) without trimming the branches you personally don't like.

Hm... after the CL discussion I'm wondering if that book I'm just reading (The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet) is CL set in space? The style of writing ticks all the boxes although I can't see any possible romance yet. Hm... the captain seems attractive, but Corbin would be more interesting in that dark Rochester/ Snape sense. It's fun and easy on my brain so far, but I'm wondering why it has been nominated for a serious fiction prize. Maybe it will become feminist in some way later on?

Last night I tried to explain Easter to some refugees and got into a dead end when it came to the Easter bunny that brings colored and chocolate eggs and puts them into a nest/ hides them. Of course they asked what it had to do with Jesus on the cross, and I had no idea. I googled and found that the EB has been invented by Germans. Seems we have a tradition of mixing strange stuff (Christmas tree) into Christian Holidays. Really, why is it a BUNNY that brings eggs and not at least chicken if the eggs mean spring and fertility? Because bunnies are extra fertile?

******
I'd need some advice...
the atmosphere in the camp has changed quite drastically since the first applications have been refused. Unfortunately the process in Italy that follows a refusal is very bad: the applicants have to give their temporary documents to the police and are from then on without paper and health insurance. They then have 4 weeks to either leave the camp and return home (which means to disappear, go illegal, because even if they wanted none of them has the money or documents for a flight back) or to take a lawyer to appeal. The appeal period takes between 6 and 8 months. I believe (not sure) they get a "tolerance paper" for that period and have to remain in the camp. If they lose the appeal, the situation is as before - papers are gone, they have to leave the camp.

This is a terribly difficult situation for everyone involved. I tried to get some answers yesterday from a staff member, but it seems they are confused as well and not sufficiently trained. Imagine a case like ours: you get a camp into town with 70 inhabitants. There are many volunteers, trying to teach them language, trying to integrate them, to become friends with them. They all get the impression that once they got their permit, doors are open for them. I fear none of the staff have ever really communicated to them that the chance to be accepted if you're coming from a country like Senegal or Gambia is almost zero and what will be the consequences.

In a place like Merano with many happy and encouraging volunteers and great staff at the camp, it means that the moment those people need us most, we have to turn away from them. How shall they cope with it? I feel like we have been cheating all the time - a party here, house decoration there, factory visits, day trips... and for about 75% of them it will all have been for nothing and they'll lose the "friends" they thought they had. They will have to work illegally on farms and get paid if lucky or fall into the arms of some "organisation" - go begging, sell fake handbags, maybe sell drugs, maybe become burglars. A growing band of about 20 if not more African beggars arrive daily in Merano in the mornings, coming from Trento, and are positioned in strategic places - supermarkets, bridges, promenades. As more and more applications in the country will be refused thousands and thousands of people will be "set free" in the next months - and then the camps will be filled again with Africans coming in from Libia/ Lampedusa.

I don't get it that if there's no process to send the people back, that they can't be accepted on the condition that they find a work within a year. Most of it would be work Italians aren't willing to do anyway, and looking at all the workers that are yearly "imported" from Eastern European countries, why not use the people who are already here? They keep coming anyway because there is no process to send them back when refused.

Personally I thought about that early but hoped against hopes that more of the Merano people would get a permit. None of them has my phone number, no-one knows exactly where I live. I hate that, I would have liked to be a better and closer friend to some of them - but what would you do? Would I be able to send someone away who turns up at my doorstep? I also feel left alone in that role, and I wonder how it is handled elsewhere. Penalties for supporting illegal people are super-high, as I guess they are everywhere. What do you think?

>170 Deern: YES bunnies are fertile ;-)
--
That is a difficult situation, over here those who are denied, or have appealed and lost go to another camp until is found out where they came from and then put on the plane. Sometime that is horrible too, as most don't want to go back and have to be restrained...

I don't know what you could do, maybe somehow prepare them better on what might happen?
Over here even rescue by marriage isn't possible anymore, you have to get married in the land where he comes from and then wait a few years before he is allowed to enter our country :-(

>170 Deern: The humanitarian nature of the problem is becoming obscured by countries "protecting" their borders. I understand that many feel that some don't play their part and certainly the welcome and generosity is not given equally. It can be argued that the neighbouring 'muslim' countries should be more proactive but that doesn't do anything to solve the problems of the people already uprooted.

It is often said "don't get personally involved" in such circumstances - it is sound advice but advice that is difficult to adhere to.

>170 Deern: So sorry to hear that so many have been turned down. I think the community support is one of the reasons the British government tried to keep people in detention centres - they found, especially when children went to schools that the whole school community would campaign to keep kids, and their families, protesting against repatriation orders.

The only thing I could think of was that if you feel strongly can you contact a local politician or protest group?. (I don't do the great work you are doing, so please don't think that I am saying you *should* do anything more - for me you are already doing so much to contribute).

Have a wonderful Easter.

>170 Deern: Nathalie, I think you have done a lot and YES, it does hurt when getting a negative notice. There are rules we can't change. I don't know how it's in Italy but also here in Switzerland not all refugees can't stay. It depends where they come from. The best thing you can do is to think that you met some nice friendly people and praying that they find a good way. Don't let thiese things coming to close to you, it would make you ill. Thinking of you and sending strength.

I wish you a relaxed weekend.

>170 Deern: - Wow, that is a tough situation to be in. While Canada has always had its stream of refugees, I don't know what the process is if any of them are rejected, and of course, the Syrian refugees have already been accepted before they get on a plane bound for Canada so a very different situation then where you are. It seems harsh (and very defeating) that the appeal process takes so much longer than the short 4 week period you mention.

Happy Easter, Nathalie!

Hello all, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE RESPONSES, YOU'RE GREAT, and reading those posts actually helped a bit to get my head clearer again. I don't know yet if I can answer to all of you individually today, I still have to let it all set a bit.

It's not that I ever believed everyone would be accepted, but I hoped, given that we have almost no Syrians (not a single one in Merano), the Africans had a better chance. And if a country refuses so many, they should at least have a procedure to cope with them. I always thought Germany would send them back, but after the events of Cologne, "Der Spiegel" listed all the difficulties in an article and I was shocked about the lack of procedures and also the dependence on the country of origin - they have to accept the people back, Germany pays them for it. But in theory (there are always those who decide to disappear and throw away their papers) everyone at least has some legal status and papers throughout the process. Italy once again is even less organized and just sends them out into the streets with nothing, just the clothes they have on their bodies - exactly as they have arrived, but now totally without hope for a normal life EVER. I think it's a crime, and I fear it "works" the same way in many other countries. In countries (is it still like that in the UK?) where you don't have a residence register, it's certainly easier to live illegally which imo explains why they control their borders so strictly. But in Italy without papers and a tax number you're lost.

The guy I wrote about some weeks ago who had started reading German, doesn't go to school anymore. He feels betrayed, and I understand it. Where's the sense?

***************

Okay, normal stuff. I finished and really enjoyed my sci-fi novel. Fluffy, but really well-meant, highly entertaining, and avoiding some drama traps.

Met my friend Andrea in town yesterday who seems to sense when I feel bad and has turned up often lately on such days. I might go with her and her mum to an orchid exhibition tomorrow, but am still undecided. Today I'm invited at my neighbor Ute's place for Easter coffee and cake.

For myself I prepared my traditional 3 course Easter menu which I might have for dinner instead of lunch, depends on how this day goes. The menu is a warm salad of quinoa, avocado, asparagus and strawberries, then I'll have cauliflower mashed potatoes with mushrooms (both recipes from "oh she glows"), dessert is a mini vegan lemon cheesecake (from theminimalistbaker.com) made with cocnut cream and cashews. All quantities last for 2 days, so I'm also set for tomorrow. Now starting the day with some yoga.

HAPPY EASTER / A VERY HAPPY WEEKEND and lots of {{{hugs}}} to you all!

Ok, I'm here to ask which books you bought... Did I miss a post?

Hope you have a great break.

>180 charl08: Compared to others it wasn't (weren't?) many, just 4 - but when I buy new Kindle books I usually read them immediately and don't let them queue, so that was a bit unusual and I'm in a hurry to get them read before I forgot I bought them. :)
Paper books can sleep on the shelves for years, I will always see them again when dusting or moving house. But a new and unread Kindle book might be lost as soon as it disappears from the start screen.

It was "Trouble with Women", The Vegetarian, Sovereign and The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet, and I bought them basically the moment I had decided to finish some older books first. 3 are read, #4 is started, so I'll soon be ready for BBs again. :)

Back from my neighbor's Easter Kaffeeklatsch (coffee, cake and gossip). Her daughter and grandson were there as well, we talked for almost 4 hours.

Following the Easter tradition of previous years I'm going to present you annoy you with my Easter Lunch report:

The Warm Spring Salad was delicious, and I'm happy I have another serving left for tomorrow. Quite a winner, and it looked nice on the plate with all the green and bits of red:



The recipe is here http://ohsheglows.com/2013/04/15/warm-spring-salad/, but I did the following changes:

- used half a spring onion instead of the leek
- cooked only half of the quinoa as I wanted the veggies to shine
- added half an avocado to the finished salad (I bought one thinking it was an ingredient, but had it confused with a different recipe, it fit in very well
- substituted garlic with asa foetida
- instead of just lemon juice for the dressing I used a mix of lemon and lime.

Cauliflower Mashed Potatoes with Mushroom Gravy



The main wasn't great, but that was totally my fault. I reheated mushroom dishes in the past, but this one didn't take well to it, It became quite slimy and just "ew". I couldn't finish it and threw away the portion planned for tomorrow. Yesterday when I cooked it, it was SO good and I wish I had eaten it right then. The cauliflower potato mash survived the night in the fridge well, I reheated it with a bit of soy milk.

The recipes are in Angela's cookbook, so not on the website anymore, but the mash is super-simple (just add cauliflower after half the cook time of the potatoes and mash both with real or non-dairy milk and butter). For the mushroom ragout just sauté the mushrooms with some onion, garlic, rosemary and thyme until most of the water is cooked off. Season with salt and pepper, if you like dust with some flour and add some vegetable broth.

Creamy Lemon Bars



This came from here: http://minimalistbaker.com/creamy-vegan-lemon-bars/
The lemon bar tastes really good and is my new favorite vegan cheesecake variety, but doesn't look as good as on the website. I believe she took the pics of the cake right when it came out of the oven, not after letting it rest in the fridge overnight (which is part of the recipe). It lost most of its creaminess and became quite firm. The coconut also came out stronger after the rest, but I liked it very much. When I tasted the topping yesterday before baking it was almost too lemony and I considered adding more maple syrup. But after baking and resting it lost a bit of the acidity and the coconut sweetness came out. When I make it again (and I will) I'll even add more lemon, or maybe better lime.

With the natural sweetness of the coconut cream and the cashews, I reduced the maple syrup a bit both in the crust and the cream. I also used less coconut oil for the crust. The dough was crumbly as a result but baked well. I made half a batch which is about 4 small bars. Shocking how many calories one has, but I guess it isn't any better with digestive biscuits and cream cheese. I found my body likes cashews better than real cream, so I'll keep experimenting those vegan cheesecakes.

From the minimalistbaker site I also tried the Golden Milk Ice Cream, but I learned that without an ice cream maker that's totally useless. The mass tasted divine, but despite repeated churning every hour it became a solidly frozen mass of ice crystals, took forever to soften a bit, and then was grainy. If you have an ice cream maker you can give it a try though, because the mix of ingredients tastes just heavenly: http://minimalistbaker.com/golden-milk-ice-cream/

No pic because it really came out ugly. :(

******

And then I tried another recipe from the OhSheGlows cookbook yesterday for dinner that was a TOTAL winner, a creamy tomato pasta sauce with spinach. Again no link, but it's super easy (and I didn't follow the recipe anyway 100%) and quick for a cashew recipe:

- pour boiling hot water over half a cup of cashew nuts and let them soak for an hour, best covered and not in the fridge. Drain and process in a highspeed blender until creamy (you'll need a bit of water)
- Fry some onion and garlic (I used half a shallot and half a garlic clove, the latter one complete so I could take it out again) in a pan with olive oil
- if you want to eat the sauce immediately, add spinach to the pan (I used 2 big handfuls) and stir until wilted
- add tomato purée (I had a pack of 500g, unseasoned) and cook until heated through
- at that point I added a bit of red wine as always when I make marinara
- when quite ready, add the cashew cream and stir until everything is mixed and well heated
- season with salt and pepper and if you like throw in some minced fresh basil (I totally forgot it)

==> if the sauce is for the next day, better prepare the spinach separately then and add the sauce. I have the feeling that spinach doesn't like to sit in a heavy creamy tomato sauce for many hours and might go bad.

I also added some peas to the pasta (kamut fusilli) after half the boiling time which were a nice sweet addition to the mix.



If you had told me I'd ever like a creamy tomato pasta sauce, I'd have sworn that day would never come. I could have eaten the whole portion right from the pot without pasta. Didn't do it because it really is very rich and much more caloric than a normal marinara. Not your everyday sauce, but I'm sure even Italians would love it if you didn't tell them what's in it. This will be a new recipe for guests!

I can't catch up. Sometime in the past couple of weeks when I've been sick with upper-respiratory stuff, I x-ed out your thread. Probably happened on the Fire with my stupid fingers.
I'm sorry. I missed your parents' visit and a lot of other stuff.
Glad to see that you're eating well and thinking well and even managing to get some reading done. I wish we had an answer to your dilemma with the immigrants' dilemma. I encourage and respect you for still being there.

The refugee situation sounds very difficult - especially to give them hope and then crush those hopes. The taking and keeping of papers seems bizarre, really.

>184 LizzieD: I'm so glad you're feeling better, Peggy. No worries about catching up! I lost so many threads early in the year, and only 2 days absence from LT throw me back again.
About eating well and thinking well... Eating too much (still) and thinking too negatively (still). Realized yesterday that my mind is once again fighting with everything, mostly with reality and exaggerated expectations about myself. Must do more meditation/ relaxing techniques against inner resistance.

>185 sibylline: It's a bit like we all have been played with. I read a brochure by the Caritas that ends with the permit. The other case isn't mentioned at all.
I wonder that a refusal rate of over 80% will do to all the volunteers, mainly the language teachers. To see their students not well settled in a job, but sent out into illegality after all the work must be a blow for them as well.

***************

Almost done with Shardlake #3. Still don't like him much, but the historical background in that book is fascinating. Guess I'll continue the series. I've been reading a bit outside the box in March - a romance, a sci-fi comedy, an illustrated book and now a HF mystery. Hope my brain is soon ready for some serious books again, I'd like to read more from the International Booker longlist.

Went to a newly opened "orchid land" yesterday with my friend Andrea and her mum. It's a big orchid-growing company who have now added a nice museum-like show garden, restaurant and shop. As it has only opened 2 weeks ago, there weren't too many people yet. Doubtlessly this will become another tourist site where bus groups will take a stop between their sightseeing trips in Merano and Bolzano. It was very informative and well done, just a bit unlucky that orchids seem to bloom mainly in January or June/July. We still spent about 1.5 hours there and then had coffee and cake and talked for quite a long time. Had done too much yoga stretching yesterday, so I was also grateful for the tropical warmth and humidity inside. Took many pics, but the light in there was difficult, so must see if any are usable.

21. The Trouble with Women by Jacky Fleming

My main complaint here is that the book was too short and ended when things got really interesting – but that’s a good complaint for an illustrated book, those should always end at the point where you want more. It is a satirical look on why there aren’t that many great women in history, i.e. the male prejudices that kept them from progressing earlier. For example women don’t have important beards, their heads are too small and the brains in those small heads are only walnut-sized and can only remember crocheting patterns. It’s nicely done and I had to smile often, but it’s at the same time painful to read, as it should be.

Rating: 4 stars for importance

Please forgive me for being a book snob… The next two books are written in a style that would at the very best get 4 stars from me. So a 3.5 is really high praise. For 5 stars I must either be touched very deeply by a book or it must have historical importance (and be good of course). 4.5 is a place where many great works land where I thought “something” (whatever it is) was lacking. 4 is a good safe place for serious literature. Literature that mainly entertaining (like most mysteries, romances, etc), literature where I don’t have to engage my brain and just enjoy, will stop at 4 and 3.5 means I had fun reading. So:

22. The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet by Becky Chambers (LLed for Women’s Fiction Prize 2016)

This was fun and fluff in outer space! Not 100% sure but I guess this was the 3rd sci-fi novel I ever read after "Do Androids Dream" and another one from the 1,001 list I forgot, and it was surprisingly entertaining. However, my non-existent knowledge of the genre doesn’t allow me to really judge this book. As much as I enjoyed it I have no idea if Chambers’ ideas were all hers or if this is just a clever copy of the masters. In a way it reminded me of the first Harry Potter books – easy writing, a new world that is similar enough to the one we know to make it accessible, lots of icons and stuff you’d like to own or try, even in the food and drink section.

The plot: young Rosemary is hired as a clerk on a tunneling ship. We know from the beginning she travels with a false identity and that there’s some dark secret around her – which in the end was a bit of a let-down, but the rest of the book makes up for it. The quite small crew is a mix of interesting species that interact more or less well together. There is romance, yes, and it was interesting that it was always between different species and therefore a demonstration of tolerance and understanding.

After a first tunneling job, captain Ashby receives a new offer from a people that has been involved in a kind of civil war for many years, but that special tribe is on the verge of being admitted to the GC (a kind of UN in space), so he accepts the job. The book mainly deals with the long trip to that faraway planet, the many stops in different harbors and some strange encounters. Despite all the not so subtle messages for tolerance and peace, this is all a bit superficial. The dialogue is the usual bantering you’ll find in rom-coms. Drama traps are avoided (at one point I was 100% sure 2 characters were walking towards their untimely death, because doesn’t always someone have to die in sci-fi stories? There is a death eventually, and yes it was sad, but not too much so)

Light reading, maybe a bit too long for “just a fun read”, but I’ve noticed that also rom-coms and mysteries tend to become longer and longer.

Rating: 3.5, which is about as much as this type of book can get from me and really is high praise in the fun genre
Should it win the women’s fiction prize? Only when women writing sci-fi is a totally new thing. Compared with the two other candidates I read it certainly shouldn’t win, but I'd rather read this one a second time than go through all the misery of "A Little Life" again.

>187 Deern: I enjoyed this too. Great book. The cross stitch speaking g to us down the ages I would happily buy a print and put it on the wall.

I think I have the opposite situation to yours - after two smart books I want to read light fluff.

23. Sovereign by C.J. Sansom

Okay, so it is decided: Matthew Shardlake and I will never ever be friends. I admit it was a bit easier to tolerate him in this book than in the first two, but if it weren’t for the ever fascinating historical setting and other characters like Guy and Barack, I’d not continue the series. If you wonder what I find so annoying - it is my usual issue with HF: for me(!), this is once again a character speaking with the voice of a 21st century person. I see why Sansom is doing that, it's just that I personally don’t need to find my own views and values reflected in characters from different periods. I would find a successful lawyer in Tudor times much more credible if he didn’t shudder as soon as the rack is mentioned and wouldn’t attack anyone who makes fun about his hunched back. How did he get through his studies and built a reputation if with almost 40 years he can still so easily be provoked and falls into every trap built with fake friendliness? I wonder how he ever wins a case in court. He is loyal and diligent and usually has the law on his side, but I believe someone with his sensitivities couldn’t exist for long in the London of King Henry VIII.

What I loved in this book was the setting, and clearly Sansom has done vast research for that. While he gives me a modern protagonist, he at least respects the period and makes all the other characters fit in much better. Yes – cruel as it is, but I’m glad Barak is a real guy of his time and likes watching bear fights!

The mystery however? *sigh*
Book 3, and it was even easier to guess the culprits than in the earlier books. Yes, it’s another author stratregy but another one I don’t like much. I want to be surprised or at least have a group of equally likely suspects, not wait until a dumbfounded Shardlake is confronted face to face with someone who was obvious as soon as the murder/ assault happened. Okay, this is a world where the logic “the prisoner has been poisoned, it must have been the cook, let’s torture him until he confesses” rules, so maybe I’m asking too much. And if you know early on who to watch, 600 pages can be very long, no matter how colorful the setting is.

I’ll read on, I promise, because it’s a series short enough to follow and with a historical background that’s treated so much worse in most other books set in that period, but I guess I’ll never share the love. 

Rating: 3.5 stars (which is good, remember?) for the King Henry VIII and Queen Catherine backstory

>189 charl08: those were hilarious!! :D
Yes, maybe I'm now set for another 2 chapters of my great but depressing Dalrymple before needing the next dose of fluff...

>190 Deern: ha ha, I like your take on the Shardlake mysteries. I laughed at your description of the logic. You make valid points and yet I still enjoyed the books immensely. I think it must be the well-researched historical setting because under other circumstances the reasons you dislike them would bother me as well.

On another note, I just started Ferrante #4. So good.

>192 lauralkeet: Thank you, Laura! I have to confess I quite liked the trip into the Tower and I wished he'd stayed there a bit longer (torture-free, okay..) to better witness the arrival of all the great people. I still can't imagine the Great Progress with those 1000s of people and all the stuff they have been carrying. Didn't find much in wikipedia though.

I hope you'll enjoy the Ferrante. I miss Lenù and Lila, but couldn't bring myself yet to start any of the older books by that author I bought recently. The one I read years ago was quite different.

Started looking for April challenge reads. Options:

- The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood for the CAC
- Adam Bede by George Eliot and
- Gabriel's Gift by Hanif Kureishi for the BAC
==> all three are also 1,001s and it's high time to check off some of those again.
Might also read Turtle Island by Gary Snyder for the AAC though I didn't get anything out of the mini-sample.
Both next 1,001 GRs are not available for me on Kindle in any language, so I'll have to give those a miss.

Still unfinished from older challenges:
The Age of Kali by William Dalrymple (great, but too sad to read faster)
The Return of the Native - not even AR's voice can tempt me back into this one... which Shows me I'm absolutely not in the mood for another 600p classic (Adam Bede).
Brain is not set for the classics right now.

Leaved through a couple of samples for the International Man Booker and the Women's Fiction Prize, but absolutely nothing attracts me. Maybe I need still more fluff in April.

Loved the Blind Assassin (although I read it a long time ago, so this is about all I remember of it). Have you read much other Atwood? I've avoided her dystopia stuff but found a cheap copy of her The Handmaid's Tale so will give that a go I think.

>195 charl08: I read Alias Grace, The Handmaid's Tale and Surfacing, all three listed in my edition of the 1,001 (TBA is not in my 2008 edition, but I started counting all listed books since). Surprisingly I liked Surfacing most and the popular The Handmaid's Tale least. Not a great fan of dystopean and that was setting that didn't work for me.

24. Du Miststück Meine Depression und ich by Alexander Wendt

Caught the BB from a review in the “Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung” and the sample was quite good. Unfortunately the being good ended right with the sample. I don’t want to say that Alexander Wendt’s book on how he deals with his depression isn’t informative. I just absolutely didn’t get along with his style. I don’t know if this writing I call “schnodderig” (the online dictionary gives me “brash”) is his general style or if he really wanted to make this as much fun as possible – or even had to do it to be able to write this at all. I don’t know what his individual depression does to him, if it would have attacked him and not let him finish the book had he written differently. But for me personally it had the result that I skimmed through large parts of the book and mainly read the parts that really concerned his therapy.

What I liked: he is open and honest and does his best to convince people to seek help, to call the “thing” by its name and to use anti-depressants where needed. He also mentions light cases where no medication is required and phases that go away without external help. His illness started with an easy episode and then there was another one he (as he later found out) got through by lots of exercise. It was only #3 when he started drinking more alcohol and finally got some prescription drugs that made him realize he was suffering from an illness, not just mood swings. This 4th time he directly checks into a clinic and describes life there.

But apart from that I also see some danger in the book. You might read that and directly compare his symptoms with your own ones and then decide “as long as it’s not that bad I can cope alone”. However he clearly says he’s lucky to have a private health insurance and to live in a big town (Munich) with psychiatric hospitals. When he felt he needed help, he got it at once. If you wait too long and then don’t have the financial means to get priority treatment, you will be faced with a waiting list for the first appointment and another one for ambulant therapy – and that can have all kinds of bad results.

He also gives some practical advice that worked for him – for example he calls his depression “das Miststück” (the bi**h) and tries to see it as something separate from him, a bit like a flat mate.

Rating: 3.5 for the good intention and because I don’t want to depress him even more should he google and find this thread. But you know AW, the Vietnam episode for example did nothing for me except the mention of Buddhism (where suffering is seen as part of life). As did the Bergwerksgruben, the jogging and other things. If anything, mental wards scare me even more now. Well yes, it's all better than the stomach-turning wheels that were used not too long ago...

Wishing you a relaxed weekend, Nathalie.

Happy Sunday, Nathlie! Totally agree with you regarding the Shardlake mysteries. It is the historical that always brings me back. Truly, atmospheric and places me right on the cobblestone bricks of London.

I'm not a fan of Atwood. I strongly disliked The Handmaids Tale yet enjoyed The Blind Assassin. I own 4 or 5 more authored by her but I'm scared to even give them a try. Will they be Handmaids Tale-like or Blind Assassin-like? *shrugs*

"Rating: 3.5 for the good intention and because I don’t want to depress him even more should he google and find this thread"

Ha! :-)

I'm reading Sweetland for the Canadian Challenge - one of those books that I never would have picked up without a nudge from this kind of group read. It reminds me a bit of Annie Proulx.

Wow, I just rated an Atwood with 4.5 stars! Actually, The Blind Assassin is the only Atwood book I really enjoyed so far, and very much so. I guess it must contain personal experiences (loss at least, and old age), it was very touching and very well written imo. Okay, I skipped over vast parts of sci-fi planet stuff, but I read the important bits of that story in a story in a story.

>198 Ameise1: Thank you so much, Barbara! Wishing you a great week, as the weekend is already quite over by now!

>199 Carmenere: I rated THT and AG much higher than I should have, because I also disliked both. Should revisit those ratings. But so many people love those books that I felt stupid for missing something. Thinking back I still feel uncomfortable with both books, but not in a good literary way as is the case with 1984 and other uncomfortable books. I quite liked Surfacing, but that's clearly an early work. It has a similar (more personal) feeling like TBA.

>200 charl08: Actually, I'm now worried he finds this review and is not only depressed, but also offended. :/ But looking at the style he used, he probably can take some mixed critics.

I'll now turn to the BAC, but if there's time left in April, I might have a look at that one.

Hi, Nathalie! Just to be contrarian, I love and adore Shardlake with no problems at all. And The Blind Assassin is the only one of Atwood's books that I've ever disliked. Oh well....... We have similar reactions to lots of other books, so I'm O.K. with that.

>202 LizzieD: Something's clearly wrong with me - Shardlake, Ferrante, Atwood... I must find a book again that we both like! :(

>203 Deern: You'll just have to keep reading until you do... :-)

Have fun with the BAC - two very different authors this month, should be fun to see what the reviews are like.

>204 charl08: Hrmpf... by now even I know what follows when I say "I'll wait with that one a little longer for a very good reason and concentrate on this instead". So after a glance at the Kureishi and not feeling drawn to the Eliot (of which I read an impressive 3% on Friday) I just downloaded the sample of the first Knausgaard and fear I'll continue with it...
Okay, still determined to get to the BAC at some point. That they're also 1,001s should add some motivation.

25. The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood (CAC 2016, 1,001 #409/362, Booker Winner 2000 )

This is a case of “don’t judge a book by its sample or author”. After very mixed experiences with Atwood I wasn’t keen on reading another one. It helped that it’s also a 1,001 and a Booker Winner and that almost everyone seems to like it. So I got the sample. It took me 3 days to finish it and I only got the book because… well, 1,001 and Booker Winner. If it had been for the CAC only, I wouldn’t have bought it.

I mean, really, the beginning is so confusing, I checked more than once if I was reading the right book. But how shouldn’t I, when the book in the book was called “The Blind Assassin” as well? So what I got from those first 6% was a newspaper clipping, saying that a certain Laura Chase, sister-in-law to a certain businessman Richard Griffin, accidentally drove her car off a bridge in 1945 or 46. I got from other clippings that said Richard Griffin died shortly after, that his sister Winifred died many many years later, that Laura’s sister Iris was to give a short-story prize in honor of Laura to some high-school student, that Laura had written a book before her death that was posthumously published and quite successful and (from book extracts) that it dealt with a woman having an affair with a man who told her science-fiction stories. Totally confusing, as I said.

But then a new part started, told by 85year old Iris, and from there the book took a strong turn up. Iris’ memories of her childhood, the story of the rise and fall of her once very wealthy family, the effects WWI had on veterans and their families, the years of depression, her marriage and what followed after were interspersed regularly with extracts from Laura’s book and old newspaper notices. Once I got used to the mix and had realized that the sci-fi was quite unimportant and could therefore partly be skipped, I got so into the story that I could hardly put the book down. It’s a sad story, and Atwood lets Iris say some smart things about the impossibility of happiness on the last pages. But it’s also so credible and touching. Memories and loss, decisions we would take differently if we had a second chance. Maybe because I’m such a passive person myself who usually did what others told me, I could connect with Iris very well. I can understand if others lose all patience with her though. She isn’t a modern character, Laura is/ would have been. The book also shows where the passivity might get you, though you don’t know if the alternative would have made you happier (which somehow brings me back to the Lenù-Lila dilemma in Ferrante’s books).

Okay, it’s a bit too long maybe, the “big secret” is very obvious very early, and although “The Blind Assassin” was an interesting idea, the whole sci-fi thing meandered out without getting anywhere, as often is life. At one point the woman asks the man why he’s telling her that stuff, and he asks back if she’d rather hear true stories from the mud in the WWI battlefields. From there on, like her, I liked his stories better.

Rating: 4.5 stars

>197 Deern: If anything, mental wards scare me even more now.
They scare me too, even though a friend here in the neighborhood has come out of it better then before...

>205 Deern: Maybe the Knausgaard will do it for both of us, Nathalie! I have it, but I'm overbooked for April. Anyway, I'm the one who feels she has something wrong somewhere - not you.

Just came over to check on you now that you've started the Knausgaard adventure. Not that I'm all that far into it yet since I'm only in the middle of Book 2.

I have The Blind Assassin waiting in the wings, also the 2nd or .... is it the third in the sf-dystopic set of Atwood's - I liked the other(s) very much. I can't think of the titles at the moment. Gah.

Oh so sorry to hear about everything in your post at 170. What a difficult situation. I do think you have done everything that could be done and more. As Lori mentioned, here in Canada, it is so different. We are so far removed from it , but it sure burdens my heart to hear about what is happening in Europe. In Canada, though, our refugees are vetted and sent by plane into Canada, so it is not such a different thing here. Even so, I think Canada is not as prepared as we would like, as far as finding permanent housing in Canada for our Syrian refugees.

As for reading - I have to admit to being a Canadian who does not care for Margaret Atwood. Just not too my taste, I suppose. I did read The Handmaid's Tale, but I am not a big fan of dystopian fiction, so I was not keen on it.

I'm trying to read several of the Bailey's Women's Long List. So far I have enjoyed Lucy Barton, The House at the Edge of the World and currently I am reading The Book of Memory.

Please take care of yourself and I wish you the best! Hugs.

>207 FAMeulstee: The scariest part was how he described the doctors and nurses and their professional niceness. Of course this is how it should be, but I can imagine that for a patient it can be like a wall he wants to tear down. He always thought about ways to provoke them and then didn't do it. I'd probably get paranoid over the question if I should just work with them and make the best out of it or if I should try to find out what they really think of me and the other patients.
Generally I am sure that they give you exactly the help you need (as they did for your friend), it might just take a while to accept it.

>208 LizzieD: For me it is a sign of your emotional stability (which I don't have) if you can't connect to all those difficult torn characters and hope to find answers in those novels for your own life as I do. Sending you a {big hug}. :)

>209 sibylline: I'm shying back from that sci-fi-dystopic trilogy. Not for me, I'm sure.
The Knausgaard sample (which gave me a good idea of the intensity to come) made me a bit nauseous - sardines in tomato sauce, brown goats cheese (which as far as I know is lightly sweet), washed down with milk?? Poor kids... I'll try and read my planned short Kureishi before actually buying the Knausgaard.

>210 vancouverdeb: Thank you for your post - hugs back to you!! :)
For now I'm glad that all the refused refugees here found a lawyer and so the final decision will be postponed. I learned that the lawyer applies for a renewal of their permit for 6 months (as the process takes at least that long) and during that period they could at least work somewhere, now that the fruit season has started.

Thank you for the BBs - I have Lucy Barton on my WL, sounds interesting and is not too long.

********

The situation in this region here is going to get much worse now that Austria is also closing the border to Italy and has announced to use military. So all those coming from Sicily will get stuck at Brennero - and then what?

Also it makes me very sad because that open border, the Brennero, for me was always a great symbol of the European Union. Every time I drove to Germany or returned and passed that old inactive border (where the only reason to stop is a new shopping centre) I felt elated and hopeful for the future (yes, really). The open borders were a dream I grew up with, maybe typical for a German who had to live with a wall separating the country. This one-sided action saddens me very much.

Apart from the refugees it will also have extreme consequences for the Italian economy, so it's understandable that Rome and Vienna aren't at all friendly right now. Thinking of all the German tourists who got used to long spontaneous weekend trips to Garda lake and other places. Now if you face at least two extra hours at the Austria borders, you'll think twice where to go.
Some Austrian places will suffer as well - parts of Innsbruck half live of the South Tyroleans and Italians who come shopping every weekend. But it will be much worse for Italy. Prices will be raised as well as transport will cost more - I guess they'll control every single truck in future. A very bad step, and once installed I fear they'll keep it up "just in case" much longer than "required".

Last weekend there were demonstrations at the border - organized by a quite radical group, so I didn't go, and of course there were riots. But when I read the reaction of the mayor of that border town this morning I couldn't believe my eyes - he's angry because the people blocked traffic and the outlet shops sold less. He'll have many more problems of a different kind very soon - he should have marched with them! With the borders closed, he won't have Austrian day customers anymore - and those coming from South will certainly not stop for shopping when they have to queue forever at the border control. And of course he soon should have hundreds of African refugees in town.

I read somewhere that Cameron tries to find a solution for the refugees coming from Libia - not that you'd find anything about that on the German media that usually concentrates on one theme exclusively. While they stare at Greece, they forget about Italy. Whatever it is, I hope it works AND HELPS THE PEOPLE - because what happens there is indescribably horrible and those traffickers must be stopped. I've seen some docus about the prisons which are full of refugees (often enough just ex-workers from other African countries, disowned and arrested for months, then put on a boat) and can't believe that this is a situation we "accept". Just sending them back will have them put either on the next boat or into the Sahara.

Okay, sorry for that - but it's such a burning problem here and the further you look at it (towards the roots and not just at the consequences for tourism which is the strongest business area here) the more helpless you feel. For now, I can only continue my voluntary work and lend an ear where needed.

Had lunch with one of the refugees I'm closer friends with yesterday at a kebap place. He's also found a lawyer now and promised to return to Italian class. He has made a friend in Bolzano who owns a cleaning company and is willing to give him work during the 6 months he should have until his appeal. As things are, I guess that "friend" will also give him work of some kind should he be refused again. Well...

****
Totally different stuff:

So as I said, I'm trying to squeeze in the Kureishi before the Knausgaard. Will also try to read 2 or so oercent of Adam Bede every day. Don't have to finish it in April, but don't want two classics remaining open forever.

With my new responsibilities at work, I'll have to move into a different office soon. Newer and nicer, but not a single one anymore - which of course will have LT consequences. And I'll have to relearn working without talking to myself. :)

Beetroot incident:
Bought a juicer last weekend, so I can make carrot juice for smoothies. Tried it yesterday and was shocked how many carrots you need for a small glass of juice and had to add some bell pepper. Turned it into a smoothie in the blender with beetroot, ginger and lime and took it to the office this morning. Overnight, it had become too thick, I stirred it and then tried to pour some of it into a glass. Tried to - because most of what was in the bottle "fell out" and splattered everywhere in the office kitchen - miraculously avoiding my new sweater. You can imagine what it looked like - slaughterhouse! Considered taking a pic, but couldn't have posted it anyway. :)
Managed to clean and then told the colleagues that the "blood-stained" tissues in the bin were harmless. Well, they know I eat and drink weird stuff... :)

Love the Beetroot Incident!

Sad about the border. I do hate borders.

>211 Deern: Agree about the sadness about closing borders within the EU.
The deal they made with Turkey is terrible. It feels as if the inhabitans of the EU are superior and everyone else has to be kept out, only a few are allowed to enter our "paradise" :-(

You do make the European situation personal to me, Nathalie. I'm so sorry.
Ack! Beetroot Incident!!!! I am reminded of the time I took my several tiny little plants into the unisex rest room at school to water them and ended up with potting soil all over the place. I came out about halfway through the cleaning to see the handsome, young Spanish teacher waiting to go in. Always suave, I said, "Oh, don't go in there yet. I've made a terrible mess."
As for our reading, (((((((Nathalie))))))

>213 sibylline: Today I could splatter the kitchen in green - brought an equally dense mix of arugola, spinach, apple and cucumber and am wearing a white blouse. :))
Hate them as well... We had too many for too long.

>214 FAMeulstee: Dear Anita, I was writing a very long reply to your post - and then I deleted it again. Why? Because I fear the discussion could get out of hand a bit.

There are so many reasons for the migration (and when I look at Italy only, the number of Syreans or other people eligible for asylum among them is very low). I guess if the EU cannot agree on some kind of immigration process that also allows high- and low-qualified workers in officially - and how should they ever agree on anything that big with all those national and business interests playing ever bigger roles - every solution can only be a bad one.
I don't know a single person in Germany or Italy who has anything positive to say about the Turkey deal. "Something" had to be done, but this was about the worst possible something. But everything is increasable, so I guess next thing they'll give money to North African countries to stop the boats from there. Some countries like Marocco already receive big sums (and have migrants imprisoned and attacked regularly - but hey - at least then we don't get to see them with their poverty, right? *sarcasm*).

What I don't get is that on the one hand Germany says how many immigrants they need yearly because there aren't enough children to later pay the pensions for the older ones, and how on the other hand there are no jobs and people are angry because "immigrants steal their work". Italy and Spain have no decent jobs left, so it's a different situation. I know Germany offered work to young Spanish people and almost no-one came because they didn't want to move.

It's all super-complex... and we shouldn't even get to the point where so much of what Germany (and others) over-produces is thrown on African markets and destroys the local economy while upping our "exports". Are those really exports?

And now I've written another long and not less frustrated post.

*breathing deeply* Well, we won't solve the problem and can just do our best, I guess...

>215 LizzieD: Oh dear - and wet soil is so difficult to clean with just tissues and water!

At least we can discuss different viewpoints and challenge each other to try something that's not in our reading comfort zone. That's at least as important as agreeing. :)

*****

ETA: *sigh* Just read that in social networks the traffickers already started offering new very expensive routes - by car from Turkey to Bulgaria or by plane from Jordania into Sudan, Libia, then boat to Italy (and thousands drowned there last year!). As the Turkey deal idiotically reasonably was limited to people arriving from Turkey by boat on Greek Islands, I guess Turkey is not seeing the overland routes or flight routes as part of it.

I'm all caught up again, Nathalie. As usual, I enjoy your book reviews even though I don't always agree. I'm a Shardlake fan despite the flaws. I also generally like Margaret Atwood's books but found myself skimming and then skipping the book-within-a-book in The Blind Assassin. That gimmick device just doesn't work for me no matter which author uses it.

I feel your pain about the refugee situation. At least Italy is trying to help. I doubt we will get any refugees here in the midwest no matter who our next president turns out to be. I could cry for our country and its politics. Europe is going through its own hard times. I think we just have to do what we can to help and hope everything turns out okay for those who are displaced. So sad.

I hope you enjoy the upcoming weekend.

>217 Donna828: Hi Donna! I noticed that opinions on the Atwood book really differ - people like either the one or the other direction. I for myself am glad I finally really enjoyed one. Book within book is usually okay for me, but aimless sci-fi story told by one of the characters in the book within the book was a bit too much. Imo it would have worked without it.

Well, Italy often just pretends to help, but in the end has no concept. But how should they when politicians spend all their energy clinging to their seats and the ridiculous privileges they and their families enjoy against all attempts at reform the current government makes?
Talked to one of the camp staff last night and he said in his opinion the Italian model of the asylum process creates criminals outside the law. Because what else should those refused people do in the end if they can't find a "slave job" on some farm?

Looking forward very much to the weekend, I'm all behind on my planning for the relocation.

26. Gabriel’s Gift: A Novel by Hanif Kureishi (1,001 #410 /362 , BAC 2016)

This story of his parents was one he thought he might turn into a film, in the future. If only he didn’t have to live through it first.

I would have rated this with 3.8 (4) stars, had it not been for the exaggerated fairy-tale like ending. It’s been many, many years since I read and quite enjoyed The Buddha of Suburbia. I don’t remember much plot, but (as usual) feelings and atmosphere, and had I not known it I would have guessed Kureishi as author of Gabriel’s Gift. It’s even a similar plot – an adolescent boy goes through the separation of his parents, with a father “on the loose”. For about 2 thirds of the book I kept thinking “poor boy” and “why do some parents have kids at all”, but then we finally get to see the better and loving sides of both parents who until then treat their son like something that’s in the way. Gabriel was born as an identical twin to Archie who died of meningitis aged only 2.5 years. He seeks him when he feels lost and lonely which is all the time, and Archie’s voice in his head is the mature voice of reason. Overall Gabriel really is a cool kid at just 15 years of age. Ridiculously talented, he draws and paints and works on the script for a future movie.

His unmarried parents Rex and Christine have an interesting past. Rex once played guitar and bass in a glam rock band that (after he’d left) became really big and still has some contacts in the music business, though nothing comes out of it. He’s reluctant to take on jobs and basically lives of his wife’s money. She used to be a designer of stage clothes, but has now taken on a job as a waitress. The story starts at a point where she just threw Rex out, tired of his depressions and anxieties. She hired Hannah, an East-European immigrant, as an au-pair to look after Gabriel.

When Lester Jones, the still mega-famous ex band leader, meets Gabriel, comments on his talent and gives him one of his own drawings, things come into action. Both broke parents want to sell the painting to a rock star café, but (gifted) Gabriel finds a clever way to keep Lester's gift.

This is a short book and quite entertaining. I can even imagine it shows the RL some years ago in certain circles that aren’t mine. Also in that respect it reminds me of the “Buddha” which I should reread at some point. I remember that fascination of reading something contemporary that was totally strange to me. I couldn’t connect and yet I wanted to, it was quite seductive. It’s similar here – I felt a mix of disgust and a wish to join in. I’m glad Kureishi made it into the 2016 BAC.

Rating: 3.5 stars

Hmmm. I have a copy of *Buddha* but not in APRIL!

I've never read any Kureishi - better sort this out!

Hiya - just checking in post hols. Sounds like such a hard situation with the refugees - it's such a fraught minefield all round :/

I'm an Atwood fan I have to say :) I read The Robber Bride this month - I found it so powerful. A little hard to get in to but when it ended I had that proper loss feeling - I still want more of it. I keep leaving her books till April each year but I really shouldn't.

*wanders off to locate The Buddha of Suburbia*

>220 LizzieD:, >221 charl08:, >222 BekkaJo: Hi Peggy, Charlotte and Bekka! :)
I read the Kindle sample of Buddha last night. Well... It was funnier than I remembered (yoga meant nothing to me in the early 90s, but this time I found the idea of Karim's dad making a headstand in his underpants while having his son read a yoga book to him quite hilarious), but also a bit juvenile. Okay, it was his first novel. Not yet sure if I really want to reread the whole thing. So maybe better lend or test read before buying.

I returned to Adam Bede this morning and will TRY to make it my main read for the next days. Together with Vanessa and her Sister.

Just a flyby to wish you a happy weekend, Nathalie! *sometimes I like Atwood and sometimes I don't*

I neglected some of my NY resolutions a bit lately. I must return to the daily different thing DDT, and now that winter's definitely over I can also sort through my winter clothes and even start packing them up for the move.

I'm still good with the yoga however - exercising every day since Jan 5th. Still no headstand, but a clear improvement towards one. If you wonder what's so difficult about it - a yogi headstand must be built up from the core muscles, you don't kick into it. Lynda's website keeps being phantastic, I'm working my way through all the classes, have earned 35 of 88 badges and have definitely improved my postures. I was totally pain-free until my RL classes started again 2 weeks ago and my yoga teacher returned over-energized from a retreat in California. Since then my wrists and hands are hurting. I'm trying to go easy on them, but what is a yoga flow without downdog or plank?

April is an expensive month. I paid half the rent deposit, I need new summer tires and now my car also demands an inspection which I
fear will alone cost around 500 EUR or more. As sad as I am that I can't do this year's yoga retreat in Sicily, I really wouldn't be able to fork out another 1,500 EUR with the costs for the move coming up as well. In June I have to pay 2 rents and 2 electricity bills, that alone will eat up almost one salary. In Italy we get an extra "vacation salary" in mid July, I'll need that very much this year and will then count the days to the Christmas salary. :/
So I shouldn't continue buying all those 10 EUR Kindle books and read more classics or off the shelf. But those BBs are soooo tempting...

>224 Carmenere: Happy Weekend Lynda! I got the impression that most people don't like all her books, they're divided between the dystopean, maybe also historical fiction like Alias Grace and those that have an autobiographical feel to them.
I won't read any more of hers in the near future I guess...

Even when I don't like an Atwood offering I always get something out of it.

>211 Deern: I've heard about Austria will closing the border at Brenner. The situation in Europe is going worth.

Wishing you happy weekend, Nathalie.

Okay. I had to go to the threadbook to find you. (Thank you, Jim!) I'm not sure what happened, but somehow you had lost your star. Anyway, I have you back again, but I am not caught up yet. Just wanted to pop down here and wish you a weekend filled with fabulous. Now, I'm off to catch up with you...

Hope your Saturday goes well. I wasn't much tempted by the Eco, but will look for your comments - I do like reading books about books so if there are a lot of essays about what he read, I might change my mind. Are you reading it in Italian?

Hi Nathalie, hope you are doing well. Atwood has quickly made her way into my favourite authors, though I am yet to read this one.

I don't even make New Years resolutions, Nathalie, because that way I can't beat myself up . Be kind to yourself!

>227 sibylline: Well.. I always enjoyed her writing, though not all her plots.

>228 Ameise1: Happy weekend to you, too! :)
Very disappointed with what has become of the EU, a group of selfish countries reverting back to nationalism while in Brussels politics seem to be made by lobbies miles above the heads of the people.

>229 Crazymamie: Hi Mamie, I recently xed out a thread while I was scrolling on the ipad, I saw it disappearing, but couldn't read quickly enough which one it was. With handhelds like ipads and phones I noticed it's very (too) easy to hit an x and accidentally ignore someone.
No need to catch up, I'm happy you found me again. :)

>230 charl08: I thought long before buying the book, but then I thought it might give me a good overview about recent Italian politics and how the Italians see the world. Book reviews would be a nice addition. I'll report those here.

>231 PiyushC: Piyush, you're back - lovely to see you here! :D Must find and star your thread!

>232 vancouverdeb: Haha, being kinder to myself is another NYR! :) And it's the one I realized a week ago I'm not really following. The DDT was a way to get there, to allow myself to do things differently and to make mistakes. The clearing out things is a necessity with the move ahead. But relaxing is at least as important, you're right!

I spent most of yesterday at the Merano yoga festival. Didn't book any classes, simply because I had forgotten to check the offers in advance. But spent much time at the various stalls and in the pop-up vegetarian restaurant. It was raining all day, so it was quite crowded. Bought some new yoga pants and a long- sleeved shirt from a textile that contains bamboo. Then some incense from India and a pair of earrings, an organic flour from old wheat varieties that contain far less gluten and a small bag of cookies made from that flour, and a tin of instant coffee with spices and ginseng.

Lunch was mixed side dishes (fennel with raisins and pine nuts, something with algae and a mix of greens similar to kale and spinach) and a vegan apple pie. Quite good, but mini-portions and not cheap.

I had planned buying a headstand chair from some of the Christmas money I still have, and I did that. I have to come back today to pick up the chair, as they're all needed for a presentation (20 EUR off the price for being slightly used). I did yesterday's presentation class, and I really got into the inversion, even without help. I like it that the head and thus the cervical spine are pressure free and the weight is on hands, arms and shoulders.

When I came home I felt so encouraged that I tried the real headstand on the wall again and for the first time got there- yay!

In the evening I did some home yoga and watched the two "Marigold Hotel" movies I had recorded on Sky.

Quite enjoying Adam Bede so far, but making only slow progress.

Today my friend Silvia is coming from Bolzano for breakfast and then we'll walk into town and to the festival and look around together, maybe have a class as well.

I have some bamboo sheets and they are quite nice.

Keep forgetting there is a second Marigold movie! Must get hold of it.

>233 Deern: Yup, here now, and here, for now :D

Hooray for the headstand! That's wonderful!!!!!
Hope *Van&Sis* is suiting you down to the ground - whichever end of you is on it.

Sounds like you had a great time at the fair. We have a very prosaic market in the town but I do enjoy it when the market trades get going, selling their bits and pieces. Wishing you a good week.

>235 sibylline: Yes, the fabric is soo soft. Here in Italy it is quite new, three stalls offered it as "latest development".
I thought the 2nd one was weaker than the first one with some "nervous" comedy I fast-forwarded. But I still liked it very much, it's just a great cast and a great setting!

>236 PiyushC: Make yourself comfortable and feel free (as always) to skip everything that's too personal. :)
I lost the link to your blog - are you still writing there? If so, could you share the link again?

>237 LizzieD: Couldn't do it anymore yesterday morning, but I'll get there again, no doubt! :)
Trying to finish Adam Bede first this week before fully diving into Vanessa and her Sister. Head's too full with other stuff this week to process 2 books.

>238 charl08: Yes, it was nice - though I felt constantly dizzy from all the incense they were burning at various stalls. I have a very sensitive nose and normally can't be in a room with potpourri. Can't even enter a "Lush" anymore although I used to like their soaps.
We have a big weekly market with many stalls that sell leather and clothes (I don't like it at all, but it attracts the tourists) and a small farmer's market on Saturdays in the town centre. After my move when I don't have to walk uphill from town anymore, I'll go there regularly to buy my veggies.
A good week to you, too!

I just finished Book I and the fist third of Adam Bede, and I’m so relieved that I’m still able to enjoy a good classic. My struggle with The Return of the Native, where I just don’t want to follow that too obvious plot road, really gave me doubts. George Eliot is such a smart observer of the human nature. Middlemarch was great and The Mill of the Floss as well, despite its ending which probably had to be done that way in those times. Here I have romance, and I absolutely can’t say how it is going to end for the 5-6 people involved. There might be many happy endings or total tragedy, such a smart set-up! Characters might succeed in life or fail totally, I have no idea, but I care for all of the 5 I met so far (there’s a 6th character whose name was only mentioned so far as a possible bride for Adam, but I guess I’ll meet her soon).

Didn’t read anything else this weekend and will be very busy this week also in the evenings, so I won’t finish it before next weekend I guess.

**************

Went to the yoga festival yesterday with Silvia and we joined another presentation of the headstand chair. I have called mine Fritz for no reason. I don’t like the name, but it wants to be a Fritz, so what can I do? Back at home I tried it at the wall and it worked fine. It doesn’t substitute a real headstand, but it’s good against the fear to fall, and I’ll also be able to train handstands (in the far future) and especially on a regular basis relax my cervical spine on it.

We had food in the veg restaurant, this time I tried the vegan lasagna which was delicious as well, and took another slice of the wonderfully unsweet apple pie home, had it for dinner later on my balcony.

We also joined a presentation of an Italian Ayurveda institute, and it was interesting to see the difference between the German take on Ayurveda (of which I read some books in the past) and the Italian one. The Germans put the focus on the food rules, on what you’re allowed to eat and what not. This woman now first of all assured everyone that they still could eat what the wanted (a big 8 course Christmas dinner as is tradition for example, or some pancetta or some wine), that they should just be aware to do “corrections” the following days. Her focus was more on the times for food and what phase of the day was ruled by which dosha. I quite liked that approach and will try to integrate that into my day this week, always hoping to get away from my bad snacking routine. Whatever helps… and I never have 8 course menus, don’t eat pancetta, and since I started my daily yoga have no craving at all for any alcohol, so the above mentioned stuff is no source of worry to me.

I was very tired yesterday evening and had quite a headache. No wonder – temperatures rose from 8-10°C on rainy Saturday to a good 25 or more yesterday. So while I hadn’t done enough yoga yet except for the 5 chair exercises, I was nice to myself and just did some anti-anxiety meditation before sleeping, which I needed much, as this weekend it is a year since… and no, I’m not yet half as well as I’d like to be. I hope it will stop hurting eventually, but so far there are still too many moments when it overwhelms me. Breathing through it helped, as did a “light and radiance meditation with yoga” this morning. I'll get through today as I got through the last 366 and through tomorrow and the day after... :)

Hi Nathalie! Sounds like you had a good weekend despite your headache! That's a huge rise in temperature! We'be been hovering around freezing here in MN. Also glad you're still able to enjoy a good classic!

Peace, dear Nathalie, and keep on keeping on!

27. Adam Bede by George Eliot (1,001 #411 /363 , BAC 2016)

I read and read and read and still feel like I skipped half of the book - way too much religion, way too wordy for me and filled with characters that speak a totally undecipherable dialect. And yet I liked this long book because it is also filled with perfect character observations and then there are quotes by the “simple people” George Eliot must have scribbled down when- and wherever she witnessed them and then strewn into her novels where they fit, you can’t invent those. Eliot likes her people, she stays with them through their strengths and weaknesses, she understands them and their struggles, and that made this utter tragedy so readable where it could have been bleak and judgmental.

The main characters are Adam Bede, a young, smart, strong-willed carpenter; Arthur, the nephew of the old squire and the future heir: 20 years old, handsome, good-willed and energetic; the girl that makes the classical love triangle complete: 17year-old Hetty, the niece of one of the better tenants and the “prettiest thing you’ll ever see, like a kitten”. I felt for all three through their ordeal, and went through quite a bit of personal pain when reading Arthur. Arthur gets wiser during the story. There are people over 50 like Arthur who don't. 

There are great side characters as well: Seth, Adam’s younger brother, who’s in love with the female Methodist preacher Dinah. Dinah herself (she’s also Hetty’s cousin), who can’t love Seth back and feels called to live for the poor and needy. Mr Irwine, the parson, a good-hearted, determined man. Hetty’s and Dinah’s uncle and aunt the Poyser’s – as far as I could understand them. Okay, Adam’s and Seth’s mother Lisbeth was highly annoying in her selfishness (her dialect gave me an excuse to skip most of her statements), but totally credible.

I admit I skipped very much – too drawn out descriptions of the daily doings of the people. Too much landscape, and as I said above too much religion. The discussion of Methodist against traditional was certainly a big thing then, but it didn’t touch me. But there was enough plot meat on those long bones to keep me reading and suffering with the trio and the others.

Rating: 3.8 stars

>241 The_Hibernator: Hi Rachel - yes, it was good, but sadly the headache is back and worse. The temperatures are still jumping around, I hope they'll take a decision soon!

>242 LizzieD: Not easy with a restless mind... :)
*breathing deeply*

I got through Adam Bede sooner than planned because I caught a stomach bug yesterday and had to go home from work around 10am. In between bathroom visits and sleeping I read and skipped on and finished it this morning. Am back at work as I have no fever, but my head feels like exploding any moment. First yoga-free day yesterday since Jan 5. :( Still planning to go to the refugees tonight, but I won't stay after dinner.

Sorry to hear you're under the weather. Hope that you're feeling better soon. I've not read Adam Bede - impressed you can read something so heavy when feeling unwell. I tend to reach for crime at that point.

>245 charl08: Thank you Charlotte!
It wasn't heavy once I skipped the preaching and the dialect (for that my head hurt too much). Still can't believe it was "only" 600 pages, it seemed like at least 900.

You go girl! A headstand chair! Wow! actually, I had to Google headstand chair to see what it is you purchased. Well, that's a pretty awesome piece of equipment that I will not be ordering. I have an aversion to inversion. Wishing you much happiness with Fritz :0)
Glad your tummy troubles are gone and hope your headache soon will be too.

My daughter was mad for "Lush" for awhile and we had to go in there every time we were near one (Montreal, mainly) and I would lurk outside while she made her choices, dash in and pay, and dash out, holding my breath. She, of course, thought I was making "a big thing" about it. But to me it was just disgusting!

So sorry you are ill - hope you recover quickly. Very impressed you got through Adam Bede!

And equally impressed you are achieving the headstand.

Love Lush face cleanser (it almost smells of nothing as it's just rose and chamomile) and their lemony soaps. Agree that the whole shop smell can be a bit overwhelming though (I have wondered if they've toned it down a bit as it doesn't bug me as much as it used to).

I suspect me and a headstand chair would be the subject of one of those blooper videos. Hope yours continues to delight.

My daughters are also fans of Lush, esp daughter #1. I appreciate their products but like Lucy I find the shop overpowering.

Hope you have shaken the bug, Nathalie.
I don't know Lush, but I think I'm probably not minding much although I love the sound of lemony soaps.

Hi Nathalie, sorry to hear that you don't feel well. I hope it's getting better soon. Oh yes, April weather is really worse this year. From rain to sun - from cold to warm.
Wishing you a relaxed Sunday.

>247 Carmenere: Fritz is quite fun, though I'm still using it only with a wall, quite scared of falling over.

>248 sibylline: I really loved the milder "Lush" things many years ago when a shop opened in Frankfurt, but I remember a friend of mine always had to rush past. Now I wouldn't be able to enter anymore if they still smell as they did then.

>249 charl08: It's well possible that they toned it down - I can imagine they had some complaints. Back then I used to buy the rose ball (that dissolves in the water and leaves rose buds - which then after the bath have to be removed from the the tub...) and some honey scrub soap (Buffy the backscrub don't remember the rest).
Don't know their actual range.

>250 lauralkeet: I don't remember the Bodyshop ever smelling as extremely. Hm... do we have one of those here?

>251 LizzieD: And now I want to buy lemony soap!

>252 Ameise1: Thank you and a happy week, Barbara!
We had a very cold and rainy weekend, and it was still like that this morning. Now the sun is coming out and for tomorrow they announced 25°C - which means 30 in the sun and a new headache. :(

********
The bug is quite off - not 100%, but I ignore the wobbly feeling in my stomach and eat normally again because all the white rice and white bread aren't healthy either. Met my friend Susi for lunch on Saturday and then didn't do much over the rest of the weekend. It was rainy and very windy, my internet was on and off as always with bad weather, so I did my yoga and watched some shows I'd recorded over the week. Tried to get some inspiration for my new place from various web sites. Today I contacted the removers and asked for a quote. We'll see...

Finished the Jelinek and (sorry!) liked it. Tried another older one and hated it, so I guess I'm not yet completely nuts. :)

28. The Piano Teacher by Elfriede Jelinek (1,001 #412/364)

I know that with this one I’m totally falling out of the huge group of Jelinek haters dislikers, but for me it was an important book. Also one of the saddest books I ever read. And no, I’m not turning into a Jelinek fan – first thing after finishing this one, I ordered the sample of Lust of which about 25 years ago an extract was printed in a lifestyle monthly I then read. I really disliked it and found it highly nauseating, and yesterday I felt the same.

I confess I didn’t mind the explicit scenes so much. If you read from the 1,001 list, you’re in for many dubious experiences in that respect, and this here was far from being the worst. *

In that strange way that books find me to tell me something about myself, especially this year, this book was no exception.

I quite enjoyed the first part where you feel that Jelinek really had fun with the language and the various vicious scenes from her protagonist Erika’s life. Actually, I really liked the scenes in the tram that I know others hated – they contain all of Jelinek’s disdain for the establishment, for the bourgeois in the fake comfort zones where often emotional or physical violence rules as soon as the house door closes or even outside. It also has all the critique against the rigid culture industry that’s so weighed down by past glory that new voices are suffocated early. An artist can only reproduce. Really – I thought that first part was brilliant and it remineded me much of Thomas Bernhard, just with the visible fun with the language.

In the second part the repressed Erika and her young piano student Klemmer notice their interest in each other, are circling around each other, with quite different plans, hopes and fears. That was a bit undecided and blurry. There’s also the voyeuristic Prater scene which I found mostly very funny!

In part 3 there’s the escalation, and that was one of the saddest pieces of literature I remember reading. A repressed and traumatized woman reaches out for comfort, but while reaching out cuts off her own hand. Absolutely terrible and painful. And those moments when she thinks “at least he’s still here and as long as he’s here there’s hope” almost made me cry.

The language is full of intelligent word play and always has a Vienna feeling about it. Playful, but also very edgy. I also feel like she often chose words to arrive at a certain sound, and I can’t imagine how all this works out in other languages.

Rating: 4 stars

*If you’re interested, my worst 3 so far (all 1,001s of course):
- the dullest one: Rabbit Run by John Updike – an endless scene that almost threw me into a depression and that slowed down my pulse (I was reading on a threadmill) considerably
- the most terrible one: American Psycho, the scene where the victim slowly understands what is going to happen to her and the killer describes the change in her eyes. That scene will never leave me!
- the one I couldn’t finish (so far): The 120 Days of Sodom – and I was still in the first part.

Great review of The Piano Teacher, Nathalie! Kudos for swimming against the tide of us Jelinek haters. I'm starting to think that her work doesn't translate well into English, and that some of us, at least, can't appreciate her view from our vantage points outside of Vienna, and Austria.

>254 Deern: Your comments made me wonder whether I should try this! Great review. I think I tried Roth once and got nowhere - and I wouldn't even attempt American Psycho. (Shiver)

I finally got My Name is Lucy Barton from the library - a small hardback, the style of binding I really enjoy reading, and looking pristine. I'm only half way through but so enjoying it so far. Sweet and melancholy. Reminds me of Colm Toibin : that kind of apparently simple writing that says so much.

>255 kidzdoc: Thank you Darryl! Yes, I believe some books are just hard to translate. I feel that for example some of Virginia Woolf's books would totally lose their magic if translated into German. I also remember reading One Hundred Years of Solitude first in German and finding it okay and some years later in the English translation and being totally mesmerized.

>256 charl08: Hm... in any case don't buy it. It's not a nice book at all, it doesn't have a single positive moment. The "fun" is in the viciousness, in the merciless way she plays around in open wounds (also literally... ew). Just a warning..

I have a certain weakness for the Austrian writers. I don't like Thomas Bernhard because he clearly hates his readers (hundreds of angry pages without a paragraph), but there are some gems to find in his books. And I loved the one Karl Krauss I read - very Austrian as well. There's often something subversive and sharp in their writing. Extra spiteful satire? Don't know how to call it, but maybe you have to be a bit familiar with it.
Jelinek plays much with colloquialisms which I guess she collected over a while and then uses the words in their literal sense. So as a translator you have to translate the literal part (because that is what happens in the plot) but most probably lose the second, hidden meaning.
It is a very constructed writing that yet often feels light. It didn't feel light at all in that earlier work where it seemed she had fought for every single sentence, very rough and hard to follow. Here however it went also well with the music context - it's a language composition that carries a dark plot.

I thought about reading Lucy Barton and even have the sample, but the time isn't there for it yet. Maybe I need a mother conflict first and then it will call me. :)

Hope you enjoy it if you get to it. I'm hoping to get a copy of Olive Kitteridge to read as I really liked the style of her writing. Your comments about Austrian writing are so interesting - a world of literature totally beyond my very limited language skills.

Sunshine here means I'm watering as much as possible (or as much as the back being creaky permits! ). Hope you are not too spreadsheet bound at work, and that the headstands are going well.

Hmmm I went running to see which Austrians I have read - and who counts as an Austrian. The fact is, not so many. Robert Musil blew me away, I know few care for him, but I loved The Man Without Qualities. I've read a lot of Peter Handke( when working on my MFA I had an advisor who was mad for him). I think I did learn something. He is certainly spare! I read a bunch of Schnitzler stories after they put a few on Masterpiece Theatre ages ago, and they were very fine. Some Trakl poetry also because of the MFA program. Very interesting about the difficulties of translating Jelinek.

I'm not enthused by any of the books I'm reading now, not to say I'm not enjoying or getting something out of them in a way, I'm just not swept up, which is what I live for, in my reading. The exception would be the Dorothy Dunnett that I'm listening to.

>258 charl08: Even my therapist says "there's something about the Austrians". I didn't read many, but I'm planning to read more. also the guy (Seeberger? Seethaler?) who's shortlisted for the International Booker and got 5 stars from Darryl. My therapist read another book by him and liked it very much.
And if you wonder why I discuss books with her - because "books find me this year more than ever". Yesterday she had to get me out of my Jelinek-induced low. :)

Extremely spreadsheet bound at work this week! My back hurts as well, I did 5 sessions (10 mins each) of "office yoga" today during lunch break. The exercises against "tech neck" were wonderful. Must search and post the youtube link when home.

>259 sibylline: The Man Without Qualities is a work I must read, but which I'm somehow "saving for later", as I'm already through Proust and Dance to the Music of Time and Jahrestage. Oh, and thanks for reminding me - I must try Schnitzler, and soon! And yes, Handke. There's at least one 1,001 waiting. Should go to the library tomorrow!

I'm waiting for books to fall on my path this month. So far it works okay, I want to reduce the planned reading a bit. Might skip all author challenges next month and only read what crosses my way.

*******
Almost through an extremely busy week, but with some first achievments in my new responsibilities. We also had the yearly General Meeting with all the farmers where I always assist - I just love it! I understand only half of what they say in that rough dialect here, but it's great to connect with our suppliers/ owners. As usual, the guys I shared a table with were surprised about that German woman who doesn't eat meat, but happily took my pork roast and shared their greens with me. :)

Also had several busy evenings (twice yoga, once refugees, once pizza with yoga friends), so I'm terribly behind on threads once again. I hope to catch up over the weekend which is a long one here with Monday being a holiday in Italy. But the weather will be very bad, and bad weather and wind too often mean wobbly internet. We'll see...

HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE!! :)

Forgot 2 things:

Shocked and very saddened by the death of Prince and feeling slightly guilty for not having enjoyed more of his music or ever visited one of his concerts. He was THE big hero in the very cool lifestyle magazine I read in the late 80s/early 90s (just for the information - it was "Tempo" that quickly died and then was very badly revived decades later. That was also the magazine that had printed the Jelinek sample ). While I didn't understand most of his music after "Purple Rain" - or was too impatient for his music I should say - I always loved reading about him and was totally in awe of his genius. My ears were just too slow for him. :((

And my reading update:
All the disgusting Jelinek scenes have put me into the right mood to enjoy something much more beautiful and I'm back with Vanessa and her Sister. Planning to finish it this weekend. Not a good book for when you have no time, it wants to be read in long stretches, or so it feels for me. I had my usual issues with the modern voice, but at least it's a nice and friendly modern voice that tries to fit in and doesn't sound superior, and the plot is just great. Lovely book so far - thanks to Peggy for throwing the BB at me! :)

Austria has of course played a disproportionately large role in European literature
Musil, Zweig, Handke, Roth, Trakl, Brod, Rilke, Schnitzler, Kraus, Canetti, Celan but probably most of all Kafka.

I have read Jelinek's The Piano Teacher and I certainly think if that is her leading work, the Nobel Academy ought to be ashamed of themselves.

Have a lovely weekend, Nathalie. xx

>261 Deern: I'd missed how many songs had been covered by other people. Nothing Compares to You seems to have been on a loop through most of my early radio listening. I watched a documentary about Mavis Staples and there was a lovely bit about how he phoned her up and persuaded her to record with him.

Hope you have a good weekend!

Hmpf… thought I’d never say that, but I’m glad it’s Tuesday and I’m back at the office.

Weekend started out well: went to the hairdresser’s on Saturday and then spent rest of the rainy day at home, reading. I had brought a collection of Austrians from the library – a Schnitzler, Trakl’s collected poems, a Seethaler and a Handke and, having finished “Vanessa” at the hairdresser’s, threw myself into them right away. I also picked up Hermione Lee’s Virginia Woolf biography and found a German edition of The Canterbury Tales, so I hope to know soon who the wife of Bath was. 

On Sunday morning I read through some threads and then wrote a post here on my impressions on the Austrians so far. And then before I could post it, the internet went and came back only sporadically until yesterday afternoon. I was extremely annoyed as I had put so much thought into that post and didn’t feel like re-writing it at all. Still, I don’t get it. That Sky goes on a stormy day – okay. That’s the satellite dish on the roof. But the internet should be subterranean, no? I asked at the Vodafone store a while ago, but apparently it’s “normal”.

So I did yoga and tried to do some more interior planning for the new place. Then I found out that I can’t just build a small second level into my rooms to put a bed on it, because there are laws for “increasing room space” . And costs, high costs. Oh – and regulations that say the room needs to have a height of at least 4,30m because you have to be able to stand upright on both levels (yes, even if you just want to put up a matress). Complete loft beds however are permitted as long as they aren’t connected to the walls, the problem is only that they are quite unavailable. You can get IKEA (not very solid and small, but cheap) or some luxury version handmade from France (3,000€ and up) or nothing. Now I decided I’ll get the IKEA one and use it as couch, guest bed and maybe occasionally my bed, because no way can I put a couch into that living/dining room. But I’ll need a real bed in the second room, and as the rooms are so small, that really gives me some headaches.

The planning went on yesterday, and I now at least have a good idea of how to decorate bathroom and kitchen. I looked at all the books I got in the basement and got into a panic. I’ll need shelves, shelves shelves – but where to put them?? *sigh*

Then I went to a car wash because my car got summer tires today. Chose a good one 20km from Merano because they also have the best gas prizes and good vacuum cleaners and are open on holidays. The guy in front of me broke the car wash system and we didn’t get it going again, and as it was a holiday, no-one was available to help. So drove back and searched for another car wash open yesterday and was in a really bad mood when I returned.

Personal stuff following in next post.

Bad mood also because I was hungry. Because – when you’re alone and without plans on a long cold weekend (too cold to go out and who wants to dig the winter clothes out again when it’s almost May?) and are without satellite TV and without internet and have already read your eyes out and done the yoga, you’re likely to get miserable. And I did on Sunday, big time. And got much annoyed with myself for always running to food when sad, lost or anxious, which is almost all the time on such days.

So like a smoker who has to get rid of his addiction I told my body yesterday “you won’t eat”. Not as a punishment, more to give myself the chance to react differently for once when the non-solution (a snack here, a bite there) is absolutely unavailable. Without the option of at least a bite of something whenever something felt difficult (like “where to put the books?”), nothing could be avoided. So after some realizations it was lots and lots of tears and “body pain everywhere”. I did 3 20 min sessions of extremely relaxing yoga over the day with much deep breathing that in the end also let me fall asleep.

Don’t worry – I know what I’m doing, and I’m not trying to starve myself. I just felt it was the only way to finally confront things and go through with them. Because so often food is the first reaction – I accomplished something – have a snack as reward. I’m sad – piece of bread. I’m lost – banana. I’m terrified of something – bit of cheese. I see a docu on Sicily – I want to go there to try the cuisine. I wake up from a bad dream – I search through the pantry. It’s all those moments when until last year for three years I ran to my ex, like a small child. He was also my shelter from the bad world outside - and after a travel docu he'd start cooking for us. :)
Whenever I’m confronted with something grave (often when I return from the refugees) I’d give years of my life to have him and his place back to hide from it all. It’s immature, I know, but it’s the first instinct. And I know I was the same for him. But he’s not there anymore, he’s gone for a year now and found a new shelter. I need to keep up some distance to my parents (who were in that place before when I was single) to not restart that dependency again after all the progress, don’t want to get on my friends’ nerves with everything, so I must finally learn to cope and without the buffer of a brioche!

Btw. I talked to two over-sentitive friends about that earlier and asked them how they cope. Guess what - they run to their partners and are terrified by the thought of losing them.
There's also another inner child book on my shelf waiting to be read. :/

I’m planning to stay off food also today, but I must see how it goes with work and yoga tonight. 3 days would be perfect.

Today I’ll see the moving company at my place and they’ll give me a first estimate. I might drive to the IKEA at Brescia next weekend, because I need to look at things in RL, especially the loft bed. Got my car tires and read another 1% of the Lee while waiting. Forgot to say that I also listened to a good bit of The Return of the Native on Saturday. Still far from half-point, but it gets more interesting now.

Won an ER - and for once a popular one with far more demands than copies: "The Book of Ralph". Saw only now that it's an EPF, but I should be able to read it on the iPad ebook reader I hope.

Now to the reviews:

29. Vanessa and her Sister by Priya Parmar

Flaws first: clearly modern voice in historical fiction that makes Virginia Woolf too often seem like a spoiled brat, not like a woman in her mid-twenties. Then I thought it wasn’t wise to have Parmar’s Vanessa Stephen say “that Virginia told me to concentrate on painting as I’m not good with words” and then let her write a diary in fluent and often very beautiful (and modern!) prose while over the course of about 5 years Virginia struggles to finish 100 pages of her first book The Voyage Out. She could just have left the remark out. And then I didn’t like the (sorry!) cheap trick when she wanted to make her readers laugh about the people in the early 1900s by giving us the list of Dos (drink champagne, smoke a lot, wear a corset) and Don’ts (raise your arms above your head) during a pregnancy. It was funny of course, I just didn't like how it was used here because the book aims higher.

So why 4.5 stars? Because it’s charming and well researched and I couldn't put it down. Because PP gives us first a list and then an overview of her characters and their later lives. Because she lists her few “changes to reality” or poetical freedoms in the afterword and doesn’t pretend that it’s all true. Because she clearly likes all her characters, Virginia included. Because she made me curious to know more about the background of that family and made me pick up the long neglected extremely detailed Hermione Lee biography on VW and so far spend several hours with it to get from 7 to 10%. I believe it’s 1,000 pages of small print if I remember the library book well. Because she wants me to reread/ finally start all my VW books, but also to see Vanessa’s paintings. And because Vanessa’s development from restrictions and traditions into liberation is so inspiring for women.

It always took me about 5% of this quite short book to forget the “flaws” and get immersed into the story, so it wasn’t good for the odd 5 minutes here and there. I put it aside and waited for a longer weekend. I restarted at 30% on Saturday and read it through.

Rating: 4.5 stars and I'll have to up The Hours to 5 now.

30. Ein ganzes Leben (A Whole Life) by Robert Seethaler

This book and its translation are shortlisted for the Man International Booker Prize and Darryl rated it with 5 stars. I couldn’t get the German Kindle version, so I checked the library, and really found it. Seems the book was quite hyped when it was published here 2 years ago, and I can see why. It’s simply good. It’s a very short book, more a novella with about 130 pages in German in big font, and also a quick read (I had 100 pagers that took me weeks). I read this one in one afternoon, and I wouldn’t have been able to put it down. But – nothing much happens. This is the story of a life in a Tyrolean village. Tyrole is the Western part of Austria, roughly between the German border and the Brennero in Italy. Tyroleans were very poor people who profited enormously from tourism, especially after WWII. The region where I live was part of Austrian Tyrole until the end of WWI when it was given to Italy, but most people here identify with Tyrole, many want to be reunited, and the history is very similar – a very poor region, “saved” by tourism and still mainly living from it. High mountains, steep and often dark and cold side valleys where you couldn’t have big farms. You had a small house, garden, one or two cows when lucky, some goats and chicken. There weren’t many occasions to leave the villages, unless you decided to become a travelling worker – the Tyroleans were quite famous for that, but it was born out of necessity.

Our hero Andreas Egger arrives in his mountain village aged 4, an orphan and illegitimate child, to live with his uncle’s family. He has to work hard and is often beaten by his uncle, once so severely that he keeps a limp for the rest of his life. He’s slow at school but becomes a great, strong and diligent worker. He falls in love with the new waitress in the inn, buys a little hut and starts working for a company building a cable car for future tourists. Then fate hits and from then on he lives his life without dreams and wishes. He becomes an observer of life and changes in the village and around, while himself staying unchanged, not desiring wealth or even new clothes.

Some say that this book is propaganda for the “simple life”, but I don’t think so. Andreas isn’t happier than all the other people – but also probably not unhappier. He lives in the moment, going from one moment to the next, but not consciously so. Loss plays a big role and by non-desiring he makes sure he won't lose anything ever again.

The writing is simple and clear and almost sparse – no hidden translation traps in this one, it’s just the quiet atmosphere that has to be translated along with the words.

I’d say it would be a worthy winner and I’ll try more by Seethaler.

Rating: 4.5 stars

31. Traumnovelle by Arthur Schnitzler

Lucy and Paul mentioned Schnitzler, so I thought I should read his maybe most famous work. I must admit I was a bit underwhelmed because the title (and the bit of the Kubrick movie I saw) let me expect a certain dreamlike atmosphere, maybe comparable to what Kafka did with the Ein Landarzt or much of Stefan Zweig’s feverish writing. Instead this was almost clinically distant and not really gripping. The short moment by the bed of a just deceased patient was intense, but all that followed was too detached to make me (anyone?) “long” for it. Maybe it was also the lack of clarification.

I read the 1,001 listed Leutnant Gustl some years ago and liked it much better. It had exactly the feverishness I missed here.

Rating: 3 stars

>262 PaulCranswick: Hi Paul, thanks for all the names, as you can see, I already started some. Very pleasantly surprised by Trakl!!!
If I can believe the German wiki entry, Jelinek got it for her creative work with language and also her critic on the complacency of the Austrian culture industry. She must have written some remarkable plays, too. That she's probably a much disturbed person full of misandry (new word for me) and that her texts are deliberately repellent... well. :/
The language in TPT is brilliant and witty in its rage. The problem imo really is that if you translate the surface level (and you have to because it carries the outer plot), the second level that carries her word-lust and sarcasm is lost. I wonder how anyone could turn that into a movie - certainly one I wouldn't want to see.

>263 charl08: I had totally forgotten about The Bangles and who was it who sang "I feel for you"? In my early youth the question "Prince or Michael Jackson" would have been easy to answer. Didn't understand a bit of his texts (and don't think I do now), but "Purple Rain" was among my favorite albums then.

And now my therapist called and cancelled Thursday because she has supervision this week. Seems the universe really wants me to stand on my own feet - but then at least she can't say anything about not eating. :)

Starting a new thread now, this time with (old) pics.